Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Wounded Old

If you know Señora or if you are one of the 3.141592 dedicated readers of my blog, you know that Señora has been  through two major back surgeries and still struggles with back problems.

I injured my back when I worked in a warehouse in my early 20s.  I have had to deal with back problems, previously more off than on, as the result of a prolapsed disc stemming from that injury.  As I have ceased to be young, this back problem has become more on than off.  It has gotten to the point that I had to give up walking the golf course.  Even with a push or pull cart my back will not let get through a round of golf, walking.  Even with a riding cart, it is hard for me to play two days in a row. Gawd forbid, there comes a day when I have to give up golf completely.

Princess Lily, aka Tater Tot, aka Fuzzy Butt, aka The Wee Dog, is a quarter dachshund.  This breed is famous for their back issues.  The Wee Dog, who is 10, is no exception, and she is on medicine, again off and on, to control her pain from this.

We are a household of back problems.

I bring this up because the other night when I had to get up in the middle of the night (if you are old enough you will understand), I did what I always have to do when first getting out of bed.  I stood there a minute to let my back do what feels like to me, stabilize. All this prompted Señora to say, as I then hobbled my way to the johnny, “we are a household of the Wounded Old.”

And so it is going.

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CFOP – Consideration for Other People

My mother had a unique and characteristic method of passing on values, morals, correct behavior – I am not quite sure how to categorize what she was attempting to do.  She had a library of canned routines that were triggered by the conduct of, first of us boys, and then later by grandchildren.  I theorize that she was utilizing the marketing method of repeated hearings to drive home a point. She was not above turning these chastisements into little ditties.  I do not have fond memories of her educative method, quite the contrary.  I did not see then Continue reading “CFOP – Consideration for Other People”

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Alcohol was involved

I stopped in Quick Trip, a convenience store, the other day.  Going up to the counter with my purchases, the cashier rang them up and told me the price. As I was swiping my debit card he repeated the the price in Spanish.

“¿Hablas español?,” I replied as his accent was not very Latino although he appeared to be so.  The reality is that many 2nd or 3rd generation Latinos only speak English.

To which he responded, “Para nada.”  Basically saying, “not really.”

He then went on to tell me that his father was Mexican and his mother was Greek. Adding that there was a very good chance that much alcohol was involved in their meeting!  Then he mentioned something about being raised by foster parents, and wanting to learn his paternal language.

I encouraged him in his endeavor, adding that it was a beautiful language.

There is a short story in there somewhere.

And so it goes.

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Rotor Craft on Mars

Today’s news had a story about NASA’s rotor craft, helicopter by any other name, making its fiftieth flight on Mars: Ingenuity Soars: NASA’s Mars Helicopter Aces 50th Flight – “We Are Not in Martian Kansas Anymore”

There have been stories about this craft since even before it arrived on Mars. These stories always make me think of my father who was a technical representatives for helicopters for Kaman Aerospace.  I could see him as being utterly fascinated by a helicopter flying on another planet, especially one with practically no atmosphere.

I could also see him trying to get stationed on Mars to provide technical assistance for the craft!  Yeah, I know, he was no Matt Damon.

There is no way to verify now, but Continue reading “Rotor Craft on Mars”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #4,831

yeah I know you did not ask!

At times, it is so very, very hard being a sarcastic SOB.

I was filling out a medical form, and even though it was a computerized form that could have been carrying redundant information from section to section, it was not.

One question it kept asking, besides my name, DOB, etc., was sex.  It got where it was all I could do to not put “Yes, and often please.” But I kept reminding myself that it was a very tired, old joke, even by my standards.

Why they had not provided a drop down box with the two options – male, female – is beyond me.  A free form text box seemed to be exactly the wrong option for gathering an either/or piece of data .  Perhaps they were trying to be “woke”. It just struck me as stupid programming.

On a related note…

A while back a doctor asked me, “Do you drink?”

“Sure,” I replied, “Scotch neat with a splash of water, otherwise I will take whatever you are drinking.”

Apparently that was an inappropriate response in a medical setting.

And so it goes.

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Article from EatThis.com on Iconic Pizza

An article popped up in my news feed this morning, Two St. Louis pizza parlors make ‘Eat This’ top 10 list. The article linked to an article on Eathis.com, 10 Iconic Pizza Restaurants That Still Serve Old-Fashioned Pies

The original article cited EatThis.com as saying

“Eat This, Not That writer Carly Terzigni calls St. Louis, “One of the pizza capitals of the United States.” She features Imo’s and Pizza A-Go-Go on her list, 10 Iconic Pizza Restaurants That Still Serve Old-Fashioned Pies.”

It was more than a little interesting to me as I had just posted this article on Curmudgeon-Alley.com,  Iconic St. Louis Foods. In it I gave my considered opinion on how really awful St. Louis style pizza is.

Sorry, you are still not going to get me to eat Imo’s Pizza, even if a national website praises it, IMHO, it is totally unappetizing. Yeah, they probably sell a lot of pizza around here, but St. Louis is the last place in North America I would call one of the pizza capitals of the United States. But then opinions are like a***, everyone has one.

And so it goes.

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Homophone Challenged

That is homophone, not homophobe, you silly goose.

On the off chance that you do not know what a homophone is and did not parse out the Greek – homo meaning same, phone meaning voice or utterance – here is the dictionary definition:

One of two or more words pronounced alike but different in meaning or derivation or spelling (such as the words to, too, and two)

Common examples of homophones include:

      • berry – bury
      • bread – bred
      • lead  – led
      • cell – sell
      • sent – scent – cent
      • flex – flecks
      •  weather-whether
      • guessed-guest
      • band – banned
      • and many, many more

I do not recall having an issue with homophones in Continue reading “Homophone Challenged”

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Iconic St. Louis Foods

 

There are several foods that are considered iconic to St. Louis: Gooey Butter Cake, Toasted Ravioli, Provel Cheese, St. Louis Style Ribs, BBQ Pork Steak, St. Louis Style Pizza and a few more.  I’ve tried around 8 of these local favorites on the list in this article: St. Louis Food: 12 Delicious Dishes (And Where to Try Them)

However, the raison d’être of this posting is St. Louis style pizza, specifically from the iconic local purveyor. Yup, that one. This pizza typically strongly divides Continue reading “Iconic St. Louis Foods”

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Ron DeSantis Has Asked Pope Francis to Fire These Nuns

Ron DeSantis has asked Pope Francis to fire the nuns in this picture.

“They are obviously setting a bad example for our children visiting such a pornographic exhibit,” he stated with his resting disgust face, “what was the Pope thinking letting these nuns loose with a selfie-stick instead of rulers?”

“Besides, finding humor in the male anatomy is a blatant example of Critical Size Theory, and makes some of us question our manhood,”  the Governor continued, pulling up his white boots.

Finally adding, “A man’s wee-wee should never see the light of day. The Italian government should require this museum to put a kilt on this statue… for decency sake. I really don’t care if it is considered one of the greatest pieces of art ever produced. Everyone knows that those supposed art critics work for Disney.”

Yup, I intentionally channeled my inner Andy Borowitz.

And so it goes.

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Letters from the Navy to relatives of Paul Henry Carr

I have written about my Uncle Paul, my mother’s brother, several times on this blog.  He is considered a war hero from WW II, and for 30 years or so there was a Navy missile frigate floating around the oceans with his name on the bow.

Below you will find two links to letters written to the family from the Navy.  The first is to my grandmother, who everyone knew as Mama Carr, from the Commander of the USS Samuel B. Roberts.  The second letter is from the Executive Officer to Paul’s wife Goldia.

I had always heard that the Captain of the ship had nominated Paul H. Carr for the Navy Cross, but this the first time I have seen it in print.  I believe the Navy’s reason for not awarding it was that there needed to have been more witnesses…

Just click the links to open the PDFs.

PHCMF NAVY LETTER to PHC’s Mother

PHCMF NAVY Letter to PHC’s wife

And since we are on the subject here are some more links on Paul H. Carr.

Paul H. Carr inducted into the Oklahoma Military Hall of Fame

The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors

USS Samuel B. Roberts shipwreck found

And so it went…