I Taught Señora a New Cuss Word

I taught Señora a new four-letter word.  Well I might have had she been home.  All couples have their origin stories; our tale involves a lot of off-color words.

What got me scandalizing the neighbors Saturday was that one of the rear drive wheels of my new Toro lawnmower came off.  This mower is so new that just yesterday my check to pay off the credit card I charged it on cleared. I had ordered it online from Home Depot as they did not have it in stock at the Chesterfield store.  When I unboxed the mower I was glad to see Continue reading “I Taught Señora a New Cuss Word”

Clint Eastwood Saves the Day

Today I was doing some honey-dos in the guest bedroom.  While I was busy in there I decided I wanted to watch the final round of this week’s PGA golf tournament. Thing is we have not had a house guest since before the pandemic lock down so it has been that long since that TV had been used.  First I had to load our current streaming service onto this TV, then I discovered the Roku menu was not working.  I diagnosed the problem quickly – for me – as the batteries being dead in the remote controller.  Opening the back of the device I discovered I needed two AA batteries.  Problem was we had used up the last of the package a while back.

Remembering the oft repeated line Continue reading “Clint Eastwood Saves the Day”

Pobrecita

Robin would not let me take a picture, but she looks like the victim of spousal abuse!  The reality is that is not my style, and I am not near brave enough to do such a horrible thing.  I am  convinced she would make Lorena Bobbitt look like an angel.

We had her son’s dog, Osho for a  few days.  Osho is absolutely convinced that my conjunction-function in life is to take him on walks.  Of course, if I take him I cannot leave The Wee Dog behind.  All of which is fine, but two dogs on leashes can be a bit of a chore.  They are generally pretty good walking together, but occasionally they will each discover odors needing investigation that are in opposite directions.  I end up feeling like the proverbial wishbone.

Normally, Osho wants to go around dark-thirty, just after we feed him.  Monday was a nice day so I thought I would do it earlier, as it was warm and sunny.  I asked Robin if she would like to tag along, both for her company and so we could split the two dogs between us.

All was fine until we started to enter the garage.  Robin saw what was left of a decorative gourd in the garden she could not leave, so she handed me Lily’s leash.  I took it, and was promptly entangled with both dogs.  I managed to get Lily unwrapped who decided she had to head for the door leading from the garage to the kitchen immediately.   Unfortunately, Robin was headed  towards the trash can just beside that door in the garage.  Before I could act or say anything, Robin tripped over Lily’s leash.  I am not sure I ever saw anyone fall quite so fast – despite what Galileo espoused.  She had no time to put her hands in front, partly because she was carrying the gourd.  She landed directly on her nose, skinning her knees.  All I could think of was her two back surgeries.  She was obviously very shook up.  Just to be on the safe side we went to urgent care.  She  was basically fine, but she has been very sore for a couple days.   I was fully expecting a raccoon mask that is so common when the nose receives such a blow.  Her nose is bruised and her left eye looks like mine after one of my karate matches (back in the day).

We are both thankful that is was not worse.

And so it goes.

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,163

yeah I know you did not ask!

Señora and I were together in my pick-em-up truck this chilly morning, running errands. I’m not sure how it got started, but we got into a playful contest trying to out “smart-ass” each other.  After a few minutes of this Señora threw her hands in the air  towards the headliner of my vehicle mirthfully conceding, “you win, you are king of smart-asses.”

All of which got me to wondering, does that make me the better smart-ass or the worse smart-ass?

Inquiring minds want to know, and me too.

Camp Wild, Camp Covid

Robin has a very good friend, Viki, who is an artist.  An example of her art would be an older van that she bought, and then decorated the entire vehicle with her amazing art. To see the van coming down the street is a real show stopper, it definitely grabs your attention.  Viki and her husband Tom live in a very nice house, the yard of which falls sharply away to a small stream.  Generally the stream has a very low level of water and flow, but certain times of the year it can get out of its bank.  For this reason they have left a big swath of their property behind the fenced portion of their yard au naturale. Well sort of… Tom keeps the undergrowth Continue reading “Camp Wild, Camp Covid”

Exhibit A

For about as long as I have know Señora she has been telling me her sh** does not stink.  My response has always been, “Really!?!”

Now there are just 3 souls in the house and one of those is The Wee Dog, the others are myself and Señora.  I walked into the downstairs bathroom the other day to do what one normally does in such places.  I discovered what I am calling Exhibit A.

Exhibit A

I was certain 110% that I had not done this, and that The Wee Dog could not get this high or aim that well, so by deduction, that left the culprit as Señora.  I can only conclude that her sh** really does not stink!

Telepathy?

Living intimately long-term with someone can be a wonderful experience, and at times it can be a bit strange.

Señora and I were stripping the sheets from the bed in preparation of laundering them. We had completed the task of removing the bed sheets, and I was standing next to the bed momentarily still.  The mental gears were actually churning, and I was forming a question in my mind, “When was the last time we washed the mattress pad?” Before I could utter the inquiry she said to me, “Do you think we need to wash the mattress pad?”

Now, Señora is very intuitive when it comes to people. The mattress pad was not particularly dirty; it had just been a while.  Perhaps I was staring a bit at the pad, and she picked up on that.  At the time it very much felt like she had read my mind.

This is not an uncommon occurrence for us, but it does seem that most of the time it is her picking up on what I was about to say or do.

Whatever it was and is, it is still spooky!

John Carter had the capability of preventing the Martians from reading his mind.  Perhaps I should have a conversation with him about his method.

And so it goes.

We Bonded

The beginning of last week Señora became very ill.  We thought she was having an attack of sinusitis or possibly the flu.  A few days into it, she lost her sense of taste.  Despite having had both doses of the Moderna vaccine, she tested positive for COVID.  After a miserable weekend she had the infusion treatment Monday, and she is improving.  She remains very fatigued  and is still missing the flavor of food.

Out of an abundance of caution, Señora suggested Continue reading “We Bonded”