Tag: Señora

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5787.264

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I was in the kitchen when Señora came downstairs and found me, saying, “The bathroom scale is making some funny numbers.”

“Funny how?” I quizzed.

“I just need to show you,” she replied.

Following her up the stairs toward the master bathroom it dawned on me what most likely was going on.

The day before, after being apprised of the situation, I had unplugged the sink on her side of the double vanity.  It was so clogged that I had to pull everything out from under the sink and take the p-trap apart.  Yum, yum… one of my favorite household chores, picking clumped hair out of drains.   Well, after unclogging the drain, one thing led to another and I ended up cleaning the whole bathroom.  Yeah, OCD is going to kill me one of these days. Part of the cleaning process was picking up our digital bathroom scale which has a glass platform and giving it a good Windexing.

Having now arrived at the bathroom she stepped on the scale.  Just as an aside, I had known Señora for around eight years before I knew her weight.  And then it was only by accident as I had gone to a doctor’s appointment with her. So, there was progress that she unhesitatingly stepped on the scale, that and the confidence she gained from losing the 40 pounds or so a few years back.

The scale read 54.

I looked at it and said, “I don’t know what your problem is.  Just multiply the 54 by 2.2 if you want your weight in pounds. ”

Apparently, from the look that was shot my way, that was not the correct response.

Asking her to step off the scale I picked it up and switched it from kilograms back to pounds.

After placing it back on the floor I said, “now try it. I just thought you would like the lower numbers.”

Truth was I had accidentally switched the scale to kilograms when I was cleaning it.

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #5,070

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Back in the day… what used to trigger my decision that I needed a haircut was when my bangs began to interfere with my vision, or in recent years when Señora began chasing me around with her scissors.  As the years have descended on me like a rugby scrum, my decision is frequently triggered by my eyebrows having grown to the point that they are interfering with my vision.

Gotta love this getting old gig.

*****

Señora has been cutting my hair for years now.  Her doing so was a combination of things.  First, there was COVID with everyone staying home afraid of being around other humans.  Then, the barber who I had been going to for years had a series of small strokes.  She was still trying to work, but her quality was less than optimal.  I hung with her as long as I could out of loyalty, but at some point I had had enough of her hacking up my hair.  A lot of other customers must have felt the same way as her shop closed up not too long after I stopped going there.

Gotta love this getting old gig.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #4,359

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

We seem to spend an inordinate amount of time looking for Señora‘s lost (misplaced would be more accurate) phone.  Which made me wonder if at some point in the future phones might be implantable and eliminate our frequent exercise of phone search.  I suppose then the issue would be remembering to plug Señora in to charge her phone.

We are Borg, you will be assimilated.

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Can I Buy You a Drink?

Last night was Senora’s and mine thirteenth wedding anniversary.  I discovered a few months ago that one of Senora’s favorite singers, Gillian Welch, was to be in town with her husband and musical collaborator, David Rawlings that same night. I bought the tickets as soon as I could as it being in a smallish venue, the concert sold out rapidly. Before the concert we went to one of our favorite, low-key Italian restaurants here in St. Louis, Vito’s Sicilian Pizzeria & Ristorante.

It was a good night. We both enjoyed the restaurant, having a meal of calamari, salad and lasagna. Senora turned me on to Gillian Welch a few years back and I have been a fan every since.  David Rawlings I had not heard of before, but he is an extraordinary Continue reading “Can I Buy You a Drink?”

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13 Years Today, But Who Is Counting

One of my siblings passed around the following cartoon this morning:

I am moody, grumpy, opinionated, sarcastic, pessimistic, prone to depression, and occasionally let my anger get the best of me. All of that while being more than a little misanthropic and, more often than not, frugal to a fault… cheap sounds so vulgar. Oh yeah, let’s not forget moderately neurotic.

God bless Señora for putting up with me.  I remarked one time that her ability to do so was due to all those years she spent as s special education teacher.  She told me after I had repeated that comment a few times that I could say it five more times then I needed to stop.  Not exactly sure how many more times I have intermittently resurrected that remark, but I have ran out of fingers and toes to count it on.

Glad I found someone who is not like me!

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David aka Heh-soos

I started to title this one, For my Baptists Relatives…

Friday is normally the day I mow the grass at our little hacienda. However, thunderstorms, then rain moved through the St. Louis area, making that a chore for another day. I decided I would do the running around I needed to do.

This summer, I have been slowly rebuilding our 250 feet of picket fence, three eight-foot sections at a time, trying to do one a week. However, with weather and other unforeseen happenings, this has extended out longer than I had planned.  I needed some more lumber for the job.

Señora had not been feeling well, and I left the house with Continue reading “David aka Heh-soos”

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Songs of the Silver Screen, Allegro’s 2026 Spring Concert

This is one of the choirs that Señora sings in.  It is for persons who are at least 50 years of age.  Señora almost never comes home from a practice without extolling how many talented folks there are that are members of this group.

This particular concert featured songs everyone knows from the movies, including some songs I knew but did not know were movie tunes.

Señora is sitting, just to the left of the pianist.

Enjoy!  I know I did when I attended the concert.

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5786.129

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I was having trouble sleeping the other night.  I would fall asleep, only to wake up a short time thereafter.  Last time this happened I glanced at the clock radio on my nightstand whose luminous digital numbers read 12:30.

As I laid there staring at the ceiling, trying to fall back to sleep, I decided the thing to do was to count the number of angels dancing on the proverbial pinhead.  Problem was that every time I put my ocular organ close enough to distinguish individual angels, they dispersed.  I begin to think that rather than semi-divine beings with a spiteful sense of humor, they were Tricksters, demigods so popular in Native American and African religious mythology.

Fortunately for me, Señora begin to talk in her sleep, well mumble is more like it.  When I first started sleeping with Señora almost two decades ago and she did this, I would try to ascertain what she was saying, thinking I might gain some insights into her inner life.  Since most of the time she was mumbling this was a fruitless endeavor, and I gave it up as an useless exercise.

This particular night the amount of well-formed words were numerous.  Then she said the words that I never expected to hear from a spouse, current or past.  And she said them in a sweet, melodic tone, rather than in the grudgingly manner I would have expected.

“You are right,”  she said.

I would say I can now die content, but, in all likelihood, she was dreaming of someone other than yours truly. Could I go back to sleep after that revelation, no, not really.

And so it goes.

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5786.103

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Well another birthday has arrived, putting my feet closer to the grave.

Last week Señora kept asking me, “what do you want for your birthday?”

I told her the truth, “nothing.”

This went on for innumerable iterations with my response being the same each time.  I really did not need or want anything.

Finally, maybe from a little exasperation from hearing the same question for the umpteenth time, I said, “a ménage à trois.”

I know that eventually Señora will stop laughing and pick herself off the floor… eventually.

One would think after this long on this spinning globe I would have learned, one would think.

Pray for me as I know she will get off the floor.  Sounds like a good time for me to go golfing.

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5786.085

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

My office/man cave is at the top of the stairs, to the right. To the left is the master bedroom.  Frequently when Señora comes up the stairs she will see me sitting at my computer, but she cannot see the screen.  She will ask me what I am doing.

The other night she did so, and I responded, “watching porn.” The reality was that I was balancing our various accounts in Quicken, but apparently my response was the WRONG one.

I am still trying to dig myself out that hole.  Pray for me.

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