Four Possible Exit Predictions

I have four possible predictions on my final exit from the travails of this cruel world.

My first possibility is very pedestrian.  I go out the normal way, succumbing to one of the many infirmities that can affect us viejos. I am sure y’all can list them by heart.

A second possible way is  that I will be walking down the stairs.  My progressive bifocals are not on properly, I step down where I think the step is, but it is not.  I tumble down the stairs and break my neck.  I have come close to doing this more times than I can count .

The third way involves neighbors up the street from us who run a medical transport business.  When they first started up the business there were frequently 3 or 4 of their medically modified, business labeled vans parked in their driveway and in the street.  I wondered at the time about zoning violations as they kept that end of the cul-de-sac full. They have stopped that, and now there is just generally one business van in the driveway. The problem arises that when they get a call to transport.  They leave the neighborhood like an ambulance going to a multi-car accident on the freeway.  More than once I have been doing yard work, stepped off the curb to turn the lawn mower around or use the leaf blower, only to discover their van whizzing past me at a speed that appears much greater than the posted 25 mph.  I try to remember to look, but over the noise of the lawn mower or leaf blower, in the rhythm of yard work, I sometimes forget.

The forth, and most likely in my humble opinion, will occur when I relate to Señora for the umpteenth time a random anecdote of my life.  If eye rolls could kill I would be dead now.  One of these times she is going to snap and beat me to death with her Samsung Galaxy S10e. Well, maybe not her phone as to replace that would cost her several hundred dollars.  But something will come flying my way and I will not duck in time.

You heard it first here, folks.

And so it goes.

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