I’ve started investing in stocks.
Beef, chicken, and vegetable…
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire….
I would like to say this was original with me, but I would be lying. I do so love puns, though.
A Secret Service Agent Revealed What It’s Like Working For Trump
Just in case your pasquinade radar is on the blitz, this is satire.
My Tombstone
Most of my posts of late have been rants about the monstrous malAdministration currently at the center of US politics. That wears after a while, even on me. So I thought I would try something a little lighter, perhaps a little contemplative, what I want on my tombstone. There is a long history of humorous grave markers, so why not mine.
Truth is that it is a moot point, as my wish it to be cremated. As a teenager my favorite novel was Robert A. Heinlein‘s, Stranger in a Strange Land. The protagonist of the novel, Mike, was raised on Mars by Martians. Mars, being a planet of scarce resources, the Martians did not waste anything, including the dead. Towards the end of the novel, after Mike had been killed – sacrificed or crucified, if you will – and Continue reading “My Tombstone”
A Test for Our Elected Officials: Two Beers and a Puppy
Okay I am a Johnny-come-lately to the “Two beers and a Puppy” test. I became aware of it when a friend of ours sent a text to Señora and I saying that we both were a Yes and a Yes. Undoubtedly, she was thinking of charismatic Señora more than Señora’s curmudgeonly Plus One.
In an article about the test Ross McCammon starts out by saying,“’Two Beers and a Puppy’ is a test that I developed while working at Esquire.” Another article whose author I could not ascertain went on to say the story being worked on was about the American “son of a bitch”. Whether it has any tie in to the “Two Beers and a Puppy” test I do not know, but a search on American“son of a bitch” and Esquire came up with an article from Roy Blount Jr. that was an interesting read: Let Us Now Praise The Son of a Bitch
The Test
In order to find out how you actually feel about Continue reading “A Test for Our Elected Officials: Two Beers and a Puppy”
Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question
Heaven forbid I should ever be single again. I sincerely hope with all my being that Señora outlives me, if for no other reason than she is much more enchanted with this existence than I am. If she did not, I am not sure I would put myself back out there in the dating pool, especially at my decrepit age. The thought reminds me of something my mother once said after my father had passed away. Someone asked her if she was going to remarry.
“Oh no,” she replied, “it is one thing to grow old with a man; it would be quite another thing to marry an old man.”
I Learned About Red Flags
I once broke up with a very beautiful woman and judging from our time together, a very sweet lady. At he beginning of our relationship she told me her goal Continue reading “Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question “
Nailed It
This pretty much nailed how I am feeling about the state of my once beloved country in general, and especially, this election year of 2024.
Somebody please beam me up.
And so it goes.
Let’s Rumble…
In my painful attempts at writing, in my paltry efforts to describe Señora, I frequently refer back to her relationship with her mother. What her mother wanted was a petite, sylphlike, polished Jewish American Princess, JAP as they are commonly referred to. What the stork brought was from the Russian peasant side of the family, very much an Earth Mother, very much not a JAP, very much to the chagrin of both parties.
Señora has a very good friend that she has known since they were 16. Señora‘s friend would have checked off all the items on Señora’s mother’s menu of a perfect JAP daughter. I cannot imagine finding her in the middle of an Ozark stream building cairns like an Earth Mother of my acquaintance. Because they occupy opposite ends of the Jewish American Princess spectrum, I tend to think of them as a case of opposites attracting.
Let’s Rumble…
I bring her up as she is Continue reading “Let’s Rumble…”
Think I Like Word Play?
Señora was ever so kind as to gift me a daily calendar of Dad Jokes. As one of my quotidian habits I have been sharing the “humor” with my mishpocha in my native state of Oklahoma…much to their chagrin.
Today’s joke:
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Of course I had to riff on that:
I can already hear the tsunami of groans coming from Oklahoma… like a wrinkled gnome gnawing and gnashing on a bone, kneeling on one knee in front of the knight and knave, hoping to wrangle or to wriggle or to wrestle his way out of their wrath.
“What a psychedelic experience I am having,” said the psychopath to his psychologist.
“Oh don’t get your knickers in a knot, they already have too many wrinkles, ” answered the pshrink.
Okay the last one was made up, but some folks refer to head shrinkers as p-shrinks.
Like any good comedian (yes, a bit of hubris), I had to insert a callback to a previous joke:
I could go on, if I had more thyme or was less sage.
And so it sometimes go.
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Back in the Day
My brother and I going out to play… back in the day!
And so it went…
A Chalky Merry Christmas
Our neighborhood is a web of cul-de-sac streets with only one entry into it. Our particular street has one street coming off of it, is about two blocks long and ends in a cul-de-sac. There are five or six houses around this cul-de-sac that are infested with a swarm of rug rats. Most of them are elementary school age, a few younger, with a sprinkling of teenagers. What is cool is that these kids tend to play in the street like we did back in the “good old days.” They are riding bikes, scooters, various new fangled riding contraptions that I am clueless as to their names. Street hockey and soccer are big in this neighborhood. They seem to stay very busy entertaining themselves and each other, all the while running into and out of each other’s houses.
I was walking Princess Lily aka Tater Tot aka The Wee Dog Christmas Eve evening, and she chose Continue reading “A Chalky Merry Christmas”