I was in the waiting room of a doctor’s office this week when a pharmaceutical representative came in, triggering memories of my father. I only saw the backside of this gentleman as I did not notice him until he had pulled his trolley of samples up to one of the windows of the office personnel, and I went in shortly thereafter. From the backside he struck me as very fashionably dressed. His clothes appeared relatively new and of the current fashion. To me, the current fad in men’s sports coats and suit jackets always appears as if Continue reading “Shoes Did Not Get the Invitation”
Diminishing Trust
Like most Homo sapiens I hold contradictory views, opinions, modus operandi, etc. One such area is how I regard and behave to others of my species.
In my personal life I have for several decades taken the position that I do not trust anyone until they prove to me they are trustworthy. Perhaps this is an outcome of working for huge corporations and other large organizations. There are always folks in these environments that are willing to do about anything to advance their careers. A few times I have felt their footsteps on my back. Add to the corporate office politics, the sundry disappointments in my personal relationships, and my base position is that you need to prove to me that I can trust you. And yes I am aware Continue reading “Diminishing Trust”
Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,902
yeah I know you did not ask!
I want to see the job description at MoDOT for this position, or at least the want ad for the job,
I was headed to St. Charles, driving north on MO 141. I passed one then a second of these those big yellow MoDOT trucks sporting the brightly lighted signs declaring “MEN WORKING AHEAD”. Both were driving extremely slow as there was a work party afoot moving very slowly too. Both were equipped with big, striped crash barriers at the rear of the trucks. I sometimes see 3 or 4 of these vehicles stacked up for a moving work zone.
Wanted: Must have CDL. Need a person capable of driving extremely slow. Potential for accidents is higher than average. Harried, cell-phone-using commuters might miss bright yellow truck with brightly lighted sign warning of danger. No worries, trucks are equipped with state of the art crash barriers, and Health and Life Insurance will be available at reasonable cost to you.
Boardman, Oregon
Hello Boardman, Oregon…
Looks very rural and beautiful from the pictures on Google maps, but then again sitting on the Columbia River how could it be anything but?
Please, not in public…
Señora and I were running around the other day, remembering I needed a charging cable for my phone, we stopped by Wally World. On the way out we passed a Christmas display causing me to “sing” out loud, somewhat sarcastically, “Fra la la la – la la la.”
Señora’s almost immediate reaction was to say, “You really should not do that in public.”
I disingenuously asked, “What?”
“You really should not sing in public,” she elaborated.
“I thought you liked it when I made a ‘joyful’ noise?”
“I do, at the house, not in public.”
“Well,” I said in a huff, “that is one of the meaner things you have said to me.”
“I am just trying to protect you,” she went on.
“Protect me from what?”
“I would not want to see you pelted with rotten tomatoes. It makes doing the laundry tough.”
“It will be a while before you hear me sing again,” I heard the pouting me say.
Was that a long sigh of contentment I just heard coming from Señora’s direction?
God, Guns & Trump: A Jeremiad
I was in Memphis, TN this weekend and saw this bumper sticker – God, Guns & Trump – on the back of a small, older pickup truck with Mississippi tags. 
The sad reality is that I could have seen this sticker many places; they are just more common in that part of the country. I live in St. Louis which is not what I would call a particularly liberal or progressive area, but it is an island of sanity in the red cesspool of MAGA Republicans of rural Missouri and southern Illinois. I see many bumper stickers of a similar ilk around here too.
God, Guns & Trump…To me this encapsulated the sickness that is currently inflicting our country.
God: While I understand people’s need for religion, I am not a big fan. My personal opinion Continue reading “God, Guns & Trump: A Jeremiad”
One or the other…
I spent this past weekend in Memphis to play a little golf with a friend there. I drove down Friday evening and we played Saturday and Sunday. I hooked up with my golfing buddy Saturday morning at his house. Because we were going to take his vehicle to the golf course I was rummaging around in my truck, getting out golf clubs, shoes, etc. This is when I discovered my bicycle helmet in the backseat, triggering an idea for a little fun.
Before I went into his house I put the helmet on my pointy little head. I then walked around inside his house for a good 3 or 4 minutes without my buddy, his wife, their son or a visiting aunt saying a word, asking me why I had on the bicycle helmet. I was waiting for the question, “Why are you wearing that helmet?” I was going to answer, “Because I have been golfing with Steve before!” – Ba-dum-tssss – I finally asked, “Is anyone wondering why I have on the bicycle helmet?” Apparently they were not, perhaps they were practicing good manners by ignoring a faux pas by a guest. I gave them my punch line anyway… tough crowd, at least they did not pelt me with rotten tomatoes.
Either I need to get a new set of comedy writers or dive deeply, searching my twisted, troubled, tortured, tragic, traumatized, tail-spinning ghost of a soul on how the world perceives it and me… or both.
And so it goes.
One More Time, Again
The operation into the jungle against the enemy stronghold had been a cluster from the git-go. We were pinned down, no way to retreat. The flanking units were in the same situation or worse. We had repulsed two frontal attacks, taking heavy causalities. It was doubtful we would survive a third. The Lieutenant belatedly called for air support. After what seemed like a gut wrenching eternity, we heard the screaming of approaching jets, and then the whistling of the bombs and explosions, explosions much too close, one after another. I heard a particularly loud whistling, and just before the blast wave hit me, I remember thinking, “Someone really f*** up the coordinates.”
When I became aware again I found myself prone on bare, pebbly ground, naked and cold. Continue reading “One More Time, Again”
Relativity
“When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it’s only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.”
There is a current meme floating around with this Einstein quote. Investigating the veracity of the meme quote, one site concluded it was from a busy Einstein through his secretary to a bothersome reporter needing a quote.
What started my thinking of relativity Continue reading “Relativity”
2 One sentence short stories
These would also work as the opening lines of much longer stories. Selected Shorts, a NPR program, occasionally has a writing contest for stories of less than 300 words or so, anyway very short. These might be too short.
The Ceiling: A short story in one sentence
Wishing his nights were not inhabited by the demons of past missteps, the ghosts of lovers gone, and the general detritus of everyday living, he lay awake wondering how to get to the dawn.
Paris Dream: A short story in one sentence
She had dreamed of living in Paris her whole life, completing college successfully she moved there, only to encounter her first uncircumcised penis, immediately deciding that Schenectady was not so bad after all.
The first story obviously came Continue reading “2 One sentence short stories”