Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Daffodils

This just ain’t right…

Here it is the 31st of December, 2021  in St. Louis, Missouri and our daffodils are trying to come up.  At least part of our yard of northern grasses looks like a pass with the mower would do it some good. The temperature currently is 65. Most of the week has been mild and rainy.

But wait, there is about to be a major beat down of our poor, confused flowers.  Sunday is going to be a high of 24 with an overnight low of 10. Later in the week snow might be here with lows in the single digits.

I once heard someone describe Mother Nature as a pissed off biker bitch with a bad attitude.  And yet we keep messing with her.

And so it goes.

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Ann Wagner, Always Disappointing

FYI:  I live in the 2nd Congressional District of Missouri, a very conservative district that gave us such luminaries as former Representative Todd “Legitimate Rape” Atkins. Ann Wagner is of the same ilk.

I am not quite sure how my phone number ended up in Rep. Ann Wagner’s texting file, but it did.  A text from Wagner popped up the other day, and when I saw who it was my feeling was very similar to one I had when a gal I dated one time would not stop calling me and texting me.  Obviously, I can block their number, see if their “STOP” option really works, just automatically delete them, but I would rather get a restraining order. I am doing pretty good though, generally when I see Ann Wagner’s name I go on an obscenity filled rant that has folks running for the hills.  So far I have refrained.

Wagner’s text had a link to a survey requesting constituents’ opinions. “Well,” I thought, “she wants my opinion,  I’ll  be glad to give her a piece of my mind!”  I opened the link, and by the fourth question I was ready to throw my phone against the first hard object I encountered, not counting my head.

I truly found her survey offensive. The first few questions were waving red Continue reading “Ann Wagner, Always Disappointing”

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Yiddish for a Good Marriage

Senora when she gets upset or annoyed with me – yes, I know, hard to imagine – has a tendency to call me something in Yiddish.  Not knowing exactly what she is saying, although I am picking up on her tone of voice and expression, I just smile at her.

All o f which started me hypothesizing  that perhaps the secret to a good marriage is not understanding what your partner is saying… at least at times.  So far I have resisted the urge to test my hypotheses by going tit for tat with her using my Spanish against her Yiddish.

But I am wondering how you  do say, “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words never will” in Yiddish.

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,729

yeah I know you did not ask!

Anyone who vaguely knows me, knows I like to play with words, the sounds of words and even the meanings of words.  I truly have never met a pun I was not enchanted with, even if I did groan upon hearing it.

The Spanish word for radish is rábano. The Spanish word for rabbi is rabino.  Fairly close in sound if not meaning.

All which got me to wondering would Rabino Rábano be one spicy rabbi, or one pious radish?  Asking for a friend…again.

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Salvadorian Home Remedy

This morning I was practicing español via Skype with one of my tutors who lives in El Salvador.  I’m in my 3rd week with a  cough and sore throat.  Because I was coughing a bit during the lesson we began to talk about home remedies for coughs.

I told him about one from my childhood that involves honey, lemon juice, whiskey and hot water.  He related how they had a similar one there that involved honey, lemon juice and RADISHES.

The radish part surprised me.  He theorized that honey was used for its anti-bacterial properties and radishes because it contained iodine which is a good anti-bacterial also.  It is, but I am not sure it functions as such at the levels in his concoction.

I began to wonder about iodine in radishes and found the following information. Radishes actually contain goitrogens which interfere with the uptake of iodine and thus could be harmful to thyroidal health. Here is a link to an interesting article on the subject: One Major Side Effect of Eating Radishes, Says Science

Another Salvadorian  home remedy for coughs involves the liquid from the aloe vera plant extracted via a blender.

We ended by my saying that I preferred my home remedy because after 2 or 3 doses you did not care if you had a cough or not.

And so it goes.

 

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It is a wonder…

It is a wonder that I have kept any job.

In 2001 I took a programming job with Saks at their Information Technology center in Jackson, Mississippi.  It is a long story how it came to be there, I will not bore you. At that time Saks was the parent company of Saks Fifth Avenue, and three other department store chains.

The week I started the departmental secretary sent me an email requesting that I write a short blurb about myself.  She was going to put my “bio” and the photograph from my ID badge on the departmental bulletin board to introduce me to everyone.  I did so, she did so, but she failed to read  my expository remarks, simply cutting and pasting my profundities into her document.

Click to see bigger

A few days later she came to me all excited asking about what I had written, insistent that I “correct” it.  Unfortunately not every one gets my sublime sense of humor.  It might also be the reason that a year or so later when I asked her out, she was very adamant about having to wash her hair seven nights a week.

Just in case you cannot read the verbiage in the image here is what I wrote:

“David joined SAKS in February of this year. He came from American Electric Power in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is working as a Senior Programmer with Greg Kinsley’s IT Logistics Team. David has two kids and a granddaughter. They reside just outside Ft. Smith, AR. David resides in the Reservoir area.  His interests include golf, photography, fishing and backpacking. He volunteers part-time with the Frankenstein Laboratory of Experimental Humanity.”

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,187

yeah I know you did not ask!

Asking for a friend… logicians check your slide rulers at the door.

Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Now if God created man in his own image, and humans sneeze, one can assume God sneezes.  When he does so do you say, God bless you, God? I suppose it would be a form of self-love, part of any healthy personality when not done to excess.

I’ll let my friend know your answer.

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INTJ Targeted by Big Brother

Big Brother aka Google fed me the following article in my news feed today:

INTJ Personality: 5 Traits, Strengths, Weaknesses & More

It is not surprising at one level as I tend to at least glance at articles related to science subjects, such as psychology.  I am chalking it up to coincidence that it was an exact hit on my particular Briggs-Meyers personality type.  I have to, otherwise the paranoia will be too much.

Years ago, when I was around 30, I took one of these tests in a more or less medical situation.  I came out INTJ then – only 2% Continue reading “INTJ Targeted by Big Brother”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,376

yeah I know you did not ask!

There is a house in our neighborhood that I can see their front yard from the kitchen window at the back of our house.  The house is actually the one street over on a street that runs perpendicular to our street.  For Halloween one their decorations was a witch on a broomstick crashing into a tree.  For Christmas they have Santa Claus falling off of the roof.

I do believe I am going to knock on their door and introduce myself.  They seem like my sort of folks.

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I Love You – Part 1…Maybe

I’ve been thinking a lot about 3 words of late, “I love you.”

“Why,” you ask.

It is my wife. She says those words all the time, to me, of course, but also to many other people, mostly her women friends.

Let me explain my wife, perhaps something no husband should ever attempt to do. She has a certain charisma that is not lost on me, even after many years together.  She attracts people, and probably more importantly, she really likes people.  She has lived in the St. Louis area all of her life.  She has friends dating back to her nursery school days.  I’ve never sat down and analyzed it, but she has 3 or 4 or 5 different circles of friends.  A couple of the circles overlap Continue reading “I Love You – Part 1…Maybe”