Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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A Bit of Wisdom from Don Lorsbach

muleAs told to the 22 year old me… 

An old farmer had a mule.  The mule worked hard 3 seasons of the year, but in the winter time the mule just lazed around the barn.  Kicker was he still had to be feed and taken care of. 

 The farmer devised a plan whereby he would train the mule not eat.

 Just about the time he got the mule trained it died.

Don told me that story, and I just looked at him waiting for the punch line.  He was laughing like it was too funny for words.

I have thought of that story over the years.  There is a lot of wisdom in it.

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A Bit of Wisdom from My Father

railroad_tracks418A cat was napping on the railroad tracks.  A train came along and chopped off his tail.  He turned around to see what had happened to his tail.  While he was inspecting the damage another train came along from  the other direction.  It chopped off his head. 

Know what the moral of this story is? 

Don’t lose your head over a piece of tail.

I have no idea why he told that story to the 17 year old me!

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The Five Agreements

fifth-agreementFrom the jacket cover of the book The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery by Ruiz & Ruiz available @ Amazon.com

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS

Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL

Nothing others do is because of you.  Continue reading “The Five Agreements”

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Another Reason I Vote Democratic

untitledIt is not that I am such a staunch Democrat.  I have a lot to not like about that party.   And like most politicians when they get elected their brains turn into mush. 

I used to be a government regulator.  My old boss told me one day that when you have them by the balls their heart and minds will follow.  Unfortunately, corporations and specials interests have our politicians by their financial testicles.  I think it is bad with both parties, but I think it is horrendous with the Republicans. 

The other issue with the Republicans Continue reading “Another Reason I Vote Democratic”

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The Unintended Lesson

dsc_0001aMy Uncle Dutch is not a tall man, and he has what we affectionately call a Buddha belly.  I know that he was skinny once upon a time.  I have seen pictures of him when he was young and in the Navy, but that is not the Harry Dodd I know.  He is elderly now, with white hair, and it is hard for me to not think of him in a suit and tie. The first thing that you will probably notice about my Uncle is his smile.   While he doesn’t smile all the time, it is certainly there more than it isn’t. And it is the type of smile that just lights up his whole face.

 He is married to my mother’s sister.  Now that I am older, I recognize her as kind, gentle, woman. Continue reading “The Unintended Lesson”

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Your spouse is being chased by a sweet young thing…

young-man-woman_x16447805A friend sent me the following via email.  An interesting question that was on a reality show recently.   Currently, the only thing my TV is hooked up to is a DVD player, and I like it that way.   Anyway so I did not see this show. 

She said her and her significant other would have handled it much differently.

The question is below:

Ok, you’re at a party with your significant other.  Folks at the party know that you’re in a monogamous long term relationship.  There are drinks at the party and some folks that you don’t generally hang out with.  A younger attractive girl sits on the arm of your chair on the patio.  There are several people on the patio.  Later, the same girl is talking to you while you are both standing, but is getting a bit closer than casual conversation would dictate.   Your choices are:  

  1.  The significant other comes over and informs the sweet young thing that you are taken.
  2. Significant other sees what is going on and decides to let it pass a chalk it up to too much to drink.  She does this knowing that the relationship is secure.
  3. You kindly excuse yourself as soon as it is polite and stay closer to your date.
  4. The significant other goes to the hostess and asks if she could redirect her friend.  

How would you have handle the situtation?

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I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore

IF ONLY…rush

“I know there are a lot of people out there who are upset about some of the things I’ve been saying on my radio program lately. My comments about the situation in Haiti have hurt and angered many Americans who genuinely care about the plight of the Haitian people, and that hurt and anger will likely never go away. Many of you are probably wondering, “What would compel a human being to say things like that?” Well, here’s your answer: I am a very bad person. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t really want to be alive anymore”

Read the rest @ The Onion – I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore

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Aunt Katy Gives an Anatomy Lesson

steer-grill_48It was summer, and we were in Oklahoma again. Back from the east coast, and our urban life style.

It was early in the morning, and I was at Aunt Katy’s house. I was not very old, I’m thinking 3rd or 4th grade. She asked me if I wanted to go out to the ranch that day; they were going to make steers. That caught my interest as I thought steers came into the world the usual way; I did not know they were manufactured. Being an inquisitive child I asked her, “How do you make steers?”

She replied, “Well you know, they cut off their #%$”. I looked at her perplexed not understanding what #%$ meant. She proceeded to go through a list of slang terms for that portion of the male anatomy, with me looking puzzled the whole time. Continue reading “Aunt Katy Gives an Anatomy Lesson”

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Steak and Kidney Pie

steak-and-kidney-pieOne of my favorite stories about my mother involves Agatha Christie. When I was in high school she really enjoyed reading these mystery novels by the famed English author. Apparently, a popular dish in England and Agatha Christie’s novels is steak and kidney pie. My mother decided it sounded delicious, and one evening when my father was not going to be home for dinner she decided to make the dish. The fact that she waited until her husband was not going to be there will give the reader a clue as to what is coming next.

She found a recipe, and bought all the ingredients. I’m sure the steak and kidney were not cheap. She prepared the dish and put it before us unsuspecting guinea pigs, oops I mean boys. After a bite or two, none of us would eat anymore, and remember we were teenage boys aka bottomless pits. My mother became very upset, and began to cry. The funny part is after a bite or two of Agatha’s dish, she decide she did not want anymore either.

We never saw steak and kidney pie again.