Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Step Away from the Counter

When I was in college I clerked in a liquor store for a while.  It was a great job for a student. On weekends we worked hard, but during the week the store was not busy and I was able to study hard.

I had a legal responsibility to not sell alcohol to people that were intoxicated.  Not only did I face criminal action, but as it was explained to me I could also face civil liabilities.  It is not always easy to tell if someone was over the limit.  It is almost always an argument when you refuse to sell to them, but I did do so a few times.  Continue reading “Step Away from the Counter”

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Why Do I Write?

Why do I write?

Good question!  I am fond of telling folks that my blog has a dedicated readership in the low single digits.  That enumeration includes me, my girlfriend’s sporadic browsings, and couple of other folks that on rare occasions pursue my ramblings. At one point I had a fantasy that some of my articles would spark other folks to comment and generate some discussions.  Like so many of my dreams and aspirations in this life that has never really materialized.  I am okay with that at this point.

I suppose I write with an audience in mind, Continue reading “Why Do I Write?”

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May be one of the best pieces of music I have ever heard

Hallelujah – May be one of the best pieces of music I have ever heard.

While I have attended the occasional opera over my 5 decades, it is generally not my preferred entertainment.   I do love classical music though.  On one station I stream they played the Hallelujah track from this CD.  I had not heard of Renée Fleming (yes I know shameful) before, but I was an instant fan.  I ordered the CD within minutes.

As a programmer I spend a lot time in front of a computer.  During coding sessions I generally have headphones on listening to music.  Continue reading “May be one of the best pieces of music I have ever heard”

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“Hello…Hello…”

I was in line at Walgreens.  In the other line were a mother and her son who appeared to be around 5.  I first noticed them because the boy was yammering and his words were not quite making sense.  They were Asian, and I thought at first he must be speaking a western rim language.  As I listened closer the English came into focus.   I did have the impression that English was not the mother’s native language.

The boy was lobbying for some candy or toy.  One can only assume that marketers do not have children or are sadists.  Why else would they place such things at eye level of children?  It is Pavlovian destiny that the child will begin to try and close the sale when they see such things.

The mother had indicated several times that she was not going to purchase whatever item the son wanted.  At this point she was ignoring him and I had pretty much done the same to them.  My attention was suddenly jerked back to them by the youngster saying in a loud, obnoxious voice, “Hello…Hello…”

I decided right then I would have probably gone to jail as I would have backhanded the kid across the store.

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I see you smoke…

One story I have shared with many folks over the years is about my Aunt Peggy. She had some cards, may still have some for all I know, that she carried in her wallet.

Upon the cards were the words, “I see you smoke, well I chew. If you do not blow smoke on me, I will not spit on you.”

I never saw her hand it to anyone, but I am betting that she did from time to time. It was certainly a nice, humorous way to get your point across.

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Young Man vs. Old Man

What is the difference between a gray hair interacting with a woman and a young flat belly?

Young man says:  You’re a goose.  You woke up in a new world every day.
Old man says:  I love your sense of amazement.

Young man says:  You’re an f**** idiot!
Old man says:  I had not thought of that, may I consider it while?

Young man says:  You’re a know-it-all.
Old man says:  You are so knowledgeable, dear.

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California’s Pot Vote

The only time bootleggers and preachers voted the same was to keep Prohibition.  Apparently this is the case again in California where the legalizing marijuana for recreational use is on the ballot.  Two big opponents funding the opposition to the bill are the liquor industry and the medical marijuana industry.  Both feel they will lose some portion of the profit pie they are currently enjoying.  Medical marijuana is going for $300 an ounce.  One study predicted with legalization for recreation use, a price drop of 90 percent.  That would bring it down to 1970s prices, and even cheaper if you consider our inflated dollars. 

It is crazy to keep this substance illegal for any number of well documented reasons. Continue reading “California’s Pot Vote”

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Sit, God

When I was in high school in the 60s I lived in Rhode Island.  Down the street from us were some older folks, probably early to mid twenties.  They would definitely qualify as hippies.

They had an absolutely gorgeous Siberian Husky.  The dog had the most amazing blue eyes that penetrated right through your soul when he looked at you.

At least one of the couple must have been dyslexia as they named their dog, God.

You would hear them on the porch calling for the dog, “Here, God,  come here, God.”  If you were in their house occasionally would hear, “NO, God,  off the furniture.”  Sometimes it was “Sit, God” or a “Stay, God”.

Funny thing is though with those piercing blue eyes you did wonder…