Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore

IF ONLY…rush

“I know there are a lot of people out there who are upset about some of the things I’ve been saying on my radio program lately. My comments about the situation in Haiti have hurt and angered many Americans who genuinely care about the plight of the Haitian people, and that hurt and anger will likely never go away. Many of you are probably wondering, “What would compel a human being to say things like that?” Well, here’s your answer: I am a very bad person. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t really want to be alive anymore”

Read the rest @ The Onion – I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore

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Aunt Katy Gives an Anatomy Lesson

steer-grill_48It was summer, and we were in Oklahoma again. Back from the east coast, and our urban life style.

It was early in the morning, and I was at Aunt Katy’s house. I was not very old, I’m thinking 3rd or 4th grade. She asked me if I wanted to go out to the ranch that day; they were going to make steers. That caught my interest as I thought steers came into the world the usual way; I did not know they were manufactured. Being an inquisitive child I asked her, “How do you make steers?”

She replied, “Well you know, they cut off their #%$”. I looked at her perplexed not understanding what #%$ meant. She proceeded to go through a list of slang terms for that portion of the male anatomy, with me looking puzzled the whole time. Continue reading “Aunt Katy Gives an Anatomy Lesson”

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Steak and Kidney Pie

steak-and-kidney-pieOne of my favorite stories about my mother involves Agatha Christie. When I was in high school she really enjoyed reading these mystery novels by the famed English author. Apparently, a popular dish in England and Agatha Christie’s novels is steak and kidney pie. My mother decided it sounded delicious, and one evening when my father was not going to be home for dinner she decided to make the dish. The fact that she waited until her husband was not going to be there will give the reader a clue as to what is coming next.

She found a recipe, and bought all the ingredients. I’m sure the steak and kidney were not cheap. She prepared the dish and put it before us unsuspecting guinea pigs, oops I mean boys. After a bite or two, none of us would eat anymore, and remember we were teenage boys aka bottomless pits. My mother became very upset, and began to cry. The funny part is after a bite or two of Agatha’s dish, she decide she did not want anymore either.

We never saw steak and kidney pie again.

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If I was not so damn old, and Canada so damn cold

Court eases business, union election spending rule — Link removed

From the above article:
“The Supreme Court threw out a 63-year-old law designed to restrain the influence of big business and unions on elections Thursday, ruling that corporations may spend as freely as they like to support or oppose candidates for president and Congress. The decision could drastically alter who gives and gets hundreds of millions of dollars in this year’s crucial midterm elections.”

All together now…

I pledge allegiance to the registered trade mark
Of the United Corporations of America
And to the greed for which it stands
One conglomerate under  Adam Smith
Outsourced, with excessive profit
And power for an chosen few

If I was not so damn old, and Canada so damn cold, I would immigrate. I hate what the Right is doing to this country. I used to be proud to say I was American. That has not been true for quite some time now.

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WTF is Right

From an online discussion (I just love civilized discourse):

Obama is the president. He can only sign the bill the house of representatives pass and send to his desk.  Executive branch cannot make the legislative branch do anything they do not want. Clinton tried in 1992. How did that go….. 

As for the Legislative branch: If I remember, the Soap went something like this:

 GOP: we will block and sabatoge anything important to Obama no matter what

 (Senate Dems : kisses Olympia snow’s butt to try and get 60 votes. But apparently party loyalty is more important than the country…) Continue reading “WTF is Right”

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Skinning Rats

It was the fall of 1978,  my son was five years old and my daughter 8.  They were “knee high to a grasshopper” as they say in Arklahoma.  I was attending Central State University, since renamed to the University of Central Oklahoma.  I was majoring in Biology.

Why Biology?  First I had a real love for the science.  Secondly, I had always done well in this branch of the sciences.  I had basically been forced into a business degree program my first year of college and nearly flunked out.  It was a lack of interest and other factors (partying???).  In retrospect I might have better served myself and my family to have gotten my computer science degree at that time rather than the B.S. in Biology.  The punch cards intimidated me, and at time I had doubts about my intellectual capacity.  Dissecting struck me as easier than flow charts. Plus, I’ve made a real study of coming to the fork in the road and taking the wrong tine.

This particular semester I was taking several courses, but Mammalogy 4263 taught by Dr. Caire is of interest here.  Dr. Caire had his M.S. in rats, and his PhD Continue reading “Skinning Rats”

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Dollars are essentially votes

Folks who know me realize that I like to get good value for my dollar.  Some folks have called me cheap.  I don’t think that is really the case.   I just remember a concept I learned back in high school economics.  Whenever you make a purchase, you are effectively casting a dollar vote for that product.  More to the point you are voting on the pricing of that product.  I just like to be careful with my voting. 

I was in Walgreens to buy a bag ice.  Yes it is a little high in there, but the combined cost of gas to the grocery store and Continue reading “Dollars are essentially votes”

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Pat Robertson believes in Voodoo

pat-robertsonQuote from The Washington Post article about Pat Robertson’s comments on Haiti:

“Evangelical broadcaster Pat Robertson says Haiti has been “cursed” because of what he called a “pact with the devil” in its history.  His spokesman said the Wednesday comments were based on Voodoo rituals carried out before a slave rebellion against French colonists in 1791.”

Ol’ Pat seems to be in a permanent state of psychosis when it comes to all things religious.  He obviously believes in God and more importantly a Devil.  I’ve always wondered if Christianity and Islam could exist without the concept of a devil.  If there is not a devil running around causing all the evil in the world then that leaves it up to the omnipotent, Abrahamic god.  To my way of thinking there is a lot not nice things that go on in this world.  Of course, that brings us full circle back to Epicurus’ old questions

 I begun ruminating on his comments, and I decided that he must believe in Voodoo also.  Why else would he think that a ritual performed 219 years ago had the power to eject the colonial power out of Haiti?  Makes you wonder about what else Ol’ Pat believes.