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First Drink
A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!
But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso popped out!
The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again.
The patrons chanted, “Take another drink! Take another drink!”
The bartender shook his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms popped out!
The bar went wild.
The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again.
The patrons chanted, “Take another drink! Take another drink!”
But the bartender ignored the whole affair.
By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs popped out.
The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.
The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief.
The bartender merely sighed and said, “He should have quit while he was a head.”
Robin on Nov 3, 2010
For 5 Year Olds
I love jokes that you can tell to five-year-olds, so here’s a couple of my favorites:
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
Jon Kiparsky on Jul 10, 2010