Tag: Señora

Posted on

Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.243

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

We were scheduled to have a serviceman come out and look at Señor Abuelo Reloj early Friday afternoon.  Like a lot of grandfathers, he has a few aches and pains, and occasionally just stops in mid task wondering what the heck he is doing standing in the entryway of our house.

The office of the horologist called wanting to reschedule to this afternoon as he had something come up.

“Well,” I said, “I am not going to be here this afternoon and I am not sure when my wife will return home.”

“Truth is,” I went on, “she out running around with a friend of hers, and in all likelihood I will not hear from either one of them until they need  bail money. ”

“Oh really!” said the scheduler, “perhaps then we better do it next Tuesday at 1?”

“Works for me,” I confirmed.

In point of fact, Thelma and Louise were amateurs compared to the duet of Señora and La Guapa.  I am just glad neither of them drives a convertible.

And so it goes.

Posted on

Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.222

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I was walking from the bedroom to the bathroom when I belched with much enthusiasm and expressiveness.  Growing up in a household with four brothers and a gaseous father, belching was considered an art form, a source of competition amongst us five boys.

Señora said to me, “You just burped.”

“No,” I said, “I just eructated.   I have more class than to burp.”

Her reply was not family friendly, but it definitely let me know in no uncertain terms that she was not in accordance with my well considered evaluation of my behavior.

And so it goes within the confines of our matrimonial walls.

Posted on

Celebrating 60 Years of Matrimony

Okay, this is an observation that Señora has grown quite tired of, but I still find immensely entertaining…at least until I get her chancla upside my head.

It works like this.  Señora was married 28 years her first go around.   I was technically married 22 years, but the number of years living together were somewhat less than that figure. However, the paperwork says 22. Nuff said.

If you add those two numbers, 28 and 22, you arrive at 50 years of matrimony between the two of us.

Señora and I have been a couple for 15 years, but married only the last 10 years of that period.  So much like an IRS tax form, take the number Continue reading “Celebrating 60 Years of Matrimony”

Posted on

Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.172

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

It is tough being married to a Yankee.

I have what I suppose is a bad habit.  At least I have been told it is a bad habit.  I see it as a way of releasing stress.  When I get upset with other drivers for whatever reasons I have a tendency to call them a**holes.  Of course, I am in my vehicle and they are in theirs so they cannot hear me, but if Señora is in the vehicle with me it upsets her that I do this.

A while back I discovered an older Canadian sitcom, Corner Gas that I fell in love with and  binge watched every episode.  I strongly identified with one of the characters, Oscar Leroy, played by Eric Peterson.  He called everyone he was upset with jackass.  I’ve adopted this habit a bit, and use Oscar’s word in place of a**hole at times.  Señora finds it only marginally better.

Señora is not much on name calling, but she has certain Yiddish words that she applies to me when she is upset with me.  Yeah I know, hard to believe.  One such word is schmaltz, others are putz and shlemiel. She has another pejorative that I find immensely humorous, that  she uses very rarely but with great effect.  She has even used it in reference to me on occasion… pubic hair. In the scales of name calling it probably weighs in around the same as a**hole or jackass, but it has the mitigating trait of being comical.

We were driving back from Tulsa Sunday and I had used my pejoratives a couple times in reference to bad drivers.  At some point Señora, mainly to pick at me, called one of these freeway fanatics an a**hole.  I quickly informed her that she could not do that as that was my word.  “But,” said I, “let me give you a word.  You can call them meadow muffins.”

Yankees… I spent the next five minutes explaining to her what a meadow muffin was. Just in case you do not know, alternative terms might be cow piles, cow patties, dung cakes or from western literature, buffalo chips… to keep it somewhat clean.

I do not think she took my gift to heart.

And so it goes.

 

 

Posted on

Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.153

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Señora and I were in Costco.  A gentleman more elderly than us passed us by with much promptitude.

I commented to Señora, “someone needs to call 911.”

When she looked at me queerly, I added, “someone stole his butt.”

The whole time she  was chastising me for my inappropriate, non-woke comment she was doing her damnedest to not burst out laughing.

The reality was that his posterior had fled to such an extent that I wondered how his britches maintained their position upon his waist without the succor of suspenders.

And so it was once upon a time in Costco.

Posted on

Señora Robinella

A friend and fellow teacher wrote this about Señora years ago.  When she rediscovered the document Señora talked about what a good friend she had been. However, due to her marriage and then her moving away Señora lost touch with her… something very rare indeed for Señora.

Click to see bigger

And so it was…

Posted on

Señora – Breakfast in Bed

Señora and I were driving back from Chicago.  We were doing something we do not normally do.  We were listening to a rock station with a couple DJs who were under the overwhelming delusion that they were funny.

I do not remember what the exact context was, but they were talking about Mother’s Day, which is tomorrow – don’t you forget your mama y’all.  They were going on with something about breakfast in bed for the family matriarch.

Señora remarked, “I don’t know about breakfast in bed, but I would take lunch in bed!”

Reckon I have my Sunday lined out for me.

And so it goes.

Posted on

Allegro Spring Concert (Señora is a member)

Click here for the recording link

Digital recording of the Allegro May 7th Spring Concert for you to download and import to your music app, music player, or burn to a CD.

Posted on

Señora’s Bluebird House

A few years back the Missouri State Bird, the eastern bluebird (Sialia sialis), started showing up in our yard regularly.  It was not very long after that when Senora began talking about desiring a pair of bluebird houses.  After listening to her dream for a spell I did an internet search for Continue reading “Señora’s Bluebird House”

Posted on

Wounded Old

If you know Señora or if you are one of the 3.141592 dedicated readers of my blog, you know that Señora has been  through two major back surgeries and still struggles with back problems.

I injured my back when I worked in a warehouse in my early 20s.  I have had to deal with back problems, previously more off than on, as the result of a prolapsed disc stemming from that injury.  As I have ceased to be young, this back problem has become more on than off.  It has gotten to the point that I had to give up walking the golf course.  Even with a push or pull cart my back will not let get through a round of golf, walking.  Even with a riding cart, it is hard for me to play two days in a row. Gawd forbid, there comes a day when I have to give up golf completely.

Princess Lily, aka Tater Tot, aka Fuzzy Butt, aka The Wee Dog, is a quarter dachshund.  This breed is famous for their back issues.  The Wee Dog, who is 10, is no exception, and she is on medicine, again off and on, to control her pain from this.

We are a household of back problems.

I bring this up because the other night when I had to get up in the middle of the night (if you are old enough you will understand), I did what I always have to do when first getting out of bed.  I stood there a minute to let my back do what feels like to me, stabilize. All this prompted Señora to say, as I then hobbled my way to the johnny, “we are a household of the Wounded Old.”

And so it is going.