Tag: golf

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Are you really going to walk all 18 holes, mister?

A regular golf course is generally 6000 to 6500 yards long.  That is 3.4 to 3.7 miles.  If you are like me when you play golf, it is never a straight line.  I am guessing that in a round of golf I probably walk 4 to 4 ½ miles.  A reasonably healthy individual should be able to do that in an hour of brisk walking.

A round of golf usually takes approximately 4 hours.  Theoretically you are walking at the blistering pace of 1 mile per hour.  In reality there is a fair amount of standing around, and then brisk walking to your ball.  I carry my bag, throw in some elevation changes, and you have a reasonable amount of exercise.  The figures I have seen say about 7 calories per minute playing golf if you are walking and carrying your bag.  That means you are burning up around 1700 calories as long as you stay away from the beer concession.

This is not the first time I’ve been asked, “Are you really going to walk all 18 holes?”  This time it was by 4 young men in their late teens or very early 20s.  These young men all looked in good health, and were not carrying the excess weight of many of their peers.  We conversed a little, and they just could not imagine walking the course.

I walk because a) I enjoy the game more when I am walking.  Buzzing around in a cart brings in a rushed dimension to the game I do not like.  b) I love the exercise.  I am in reasonable shape compared to many of my peers.  Walking the golf course is one the things that helps maintain my fitness.  c)  I’m cheap and I like to play a lot of golf.  Paying for a cart adds $10 to $15 to the price of a round of golf.

I knew one young man whose reason for not walking was he did not want anyone to think he could not afford a cart!!!  What a load of baloney.

Some golf courses will not let you play during certain hours unless you rent a cart.  I do know some walkers slow things down a little.  I’m not so sure that is a bad thing.  I’ve golfed with far too many folks early in day that acted like playing 18 holes was just another chore to finish.  That strikes me a missing one of the key joys of golf.

I have frequently played with folks in carts while I walked.  Unless they are extremely good golfers with the ball in the fairway all the time I keep up with them.  Frequently I am waiting on them.

I will acknowledge that for many folks if they did not have a cart there would be no place to carry the cooler of beer.  Golf in this case just becomes an activity to do while drinking.  Oh well.

I just see so many folks that would benefit from the mild exercise golfing provides, yet they feel they must ride or they cannot play.  Given the current obesity epidemic how wonderful it would be if a few of these folks jumped off their carts and walked.

Or at least they could at least quit acting like I was nuts for doing so.

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Etiquette Questions

Scenario #1 – You are in Safeway, Saks Fifth Avenue, Wal-Mart, wherever it is that you like you like to shop.  The Sweet Young Thing  (SYT) in front of you decides to get something from the bottom shelf.  In order to do so she bends over from the waist revealing the required tattoo in the small of her back.

Etiquette question #1 – Are you allowed to compliment her on her tattoo?

Etiquette question #2 – Let’s say for the sake of argument the answer to question one is yes.  Can you then go on to compliment her on her pretty thong?

Scenario # 2 – I was at the golf course paying my green fee.  The bar maid / cashier had a form fitting zip up sweatshirt. The zipper was pulled down or only pulled up to a point about a hands width above her belly button.  This revealed (among other things) a pretty white lacy bra.

Etiquette question # 3 – Am I allowed to ask what detergent she uses to keep her unmentionables so white?

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Here’s your sign

I went golfing today and drove my MX-5.  I arrived at the course and had my golf shoes on, and my bag out the trunk.  The trunk was still open as I was ascertaining the status the golf ball supply on board my bag.

An elderly gentleman (he was older than me so he had to be elderly) walked up to me and said while pointing to my trunk, “You get them clubs out there?”

First thing that I thought of was Bill Engvall of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and his catch phrase of “Here’s your sign.”  I was so tempted to say, “No, I always come to the golf course hoping to find a stray set of golf clubs; here they are and here’s your sign.”  But I restrained myself.

Of course, the question he meant to ask was, “How do you get those clubs in that little bitty car?”  Since my mama raised me to be polite, I said, “Those Japanese engineers are just geniuses.”  I then proceeded to explain to him the trick of getting the clubs in and out of the trunk

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I can die a happy man

I birdied 18 at Normandie Golf Course in St. Louis.  It is a 243 yard par 3 from the blues.  The hard part for me is that it is next to a busy street on the the left.  That street is not protected from the golf course, and I so want to hit snap hooks on that hole for some strange reason.

Today the blues tees were back a bit, making it around 250 yards. I put a driver to within 7 or 8 feet and made the putt.  Rest of the round sucked, but that made up for it.