Tag: golf

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Speechless after that…

I went to the golf course the other day and picked up a game with a twosome on the first tee, two gentlemen around my age. We rocked along for 16 or so holes playing golf and occasionally, occasionally conversing.  Somehow the conversation turned to social media.

I remarked that I was not on any of it currently, and that I had gotten off of Facebook years ago after discovering that I did not  like many of my relatives. At least a big part of that was that many of my relatives had huge problems with my liberal politics and agnostic stance on religion, and I with their conservative politics and evangelic religion.

After hearing my comment about not liking my relatives, one of the gentleman remarked, “I don’t like anyone.”

Well…I did not know quite know what to say after that.  I’m not sure I have ever heard misanthrope so openly avowed.

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One or the other…

I spent this past weekend in Memphis to play a little golf with a friend there.  I drove down Friday evening and we played Saturday and Sunday.  I hooked up with my golfing buddy Saturday morning at his house.  Because we were going to take his vehicle to the golf course I was rummaging around in my truck, getting out golf clubs, shoes, etc.  This is when I discovered my bicycle helmet in the backseat, triggering an idea for a little fun.

Before I went into his house I put the helmet on my pointy little head.  I then walked around inside his house  for a good 3 or 4 minutes without my buddy, his wife, their son or a visiting aunt saying a word, asking me why I had on the bicycle helmet.  I was waiting for the question, “Why are you wearing that helmet?” I was going to answer, “Because I have been golfing with Steve before!”  – Ba-dum-tssss –  I finally asked, “Is anyone wondering why I have on the bicycle helmet?”  Apparently they were not, perhaps they were practicing good manners by ignoring a faux pas by a guest.   I gave them my punch line anyway… tough crowd, at least they did not pelt me with rotten tomatoes.

Either I need to get a new set of comedy writers or dive deeply, searching my twisted, troubled, tortured, tragic, traumatized, tail-spinning ghost of a soul on how the world perceives it and me… or both.

And so it goes.

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Word of the Day – Parvenu

  • Noun: Parvenu

    1. a person who has suddenly risen to a higher economic status but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class
  • Synonyms:
    1.  upstart
    2. nouveau riche
  • Usage:
    1. “’I brought the old guys so that my drives look that much longer,’ Watson joked. But we prodded. No, really, what’s the deal? Nothing against these guys, but most tour pros are surrounded by agents, managers, instructors, equipment reps, siblings, former college teammates and general parvenus. (Some pros have enough lackeys to field a softball team.)”
  • Encountered:
    1. While reading an Internet article: What would a tour pro shoot at your course? Bubba Watson helps us find out

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Need some golf balls?

These are mostly brands that  I do not play… lots of Top Flite, Pinnacle, Maxfli,  etc.  I’m trying to get rid of them for 4 for a $1 on Next Door.  I might try Craigslist next, but a listing there always seems to bring out the crazies. Between my golf balls and the ceramic flowers that Robin continually makes, the basement is getting, shall we say, crowded.  We are selling flowers, too!

I have literally not bought golf balls this century. I have about as many of the premium brands I like to play, Titleist, Callaway, Nike, the better Bridgestones, etc. The premium brands go for $48 a dozen new.  Even cheap Top Flites are around $1 a piece brand new.

The forbearing Señora Weinhaus thinks Continue reading “Need some golf balls?”

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The Pandemic Blues – Take II

I had a disturbing round of golf Friday.  Oh not about my golf game, I describe myself as a Dr. Hyde / Mr. Jekyll golfer.  I never know who is coming out, and sometimes I see both these sides in a single round of golf.  I figured out last millennium that I was never going to play golf professionally, or even at a stellar amateur level.  I am good with that.  I still enjoy the game.  My discomfort on this round of golf centered around attitudes about corona virus.

Let me describe where I golf most frequently.  It is across the Rio Mississippi in the small town of Columbia, IL. This is southern Illinois and it is hoosier land.  If your breed is more southern, substitute redneck for hoosier.  It is the same concept, different words. I go to this particular golf course as the rates are more reasonable than in Missouri, it is usually easy to get a tee time and the course is generally in good shape.  The greens always are.  While not the cow pasture golf Continue reading “The Pandemic Blues – Take II”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,369

yeah I know you did not ask!

I’m a golfer.  Like every other golfer I know I have a love / hate relationship with the game.  It is the nature of the sport.  Round to round it is never the same.  About the time you have a glimmer of hope that you can play the game, the golf gods whack you up side the head and laughingly and not kindly say, “Silly mortal, you should know better!”

All that aside, there are a dumpster full of reasons of why I hate Gospodin Trump, but towards the top of that list is that he has made golfers and golf look so very bad. There is a time and place for everything… except, apparently if you are this POS POTUS.

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You do not have to do that, no one is watching

I frequently golf in Columbia, IL across the Mississippi River from my home in Chesterfield, MO. The courses are a little cheaper over there, and a little easier to get on.  Also, over there is a driving range that is the bargain of the century.  They charge $5 and you can hit all the balls you want.  Just to give you a little perspective, most places charge between $10 to $12 for a bucket of 90 balls.  If you are at a golf course and want to warm up before your round, they will charge you $4 to $6 for a bucket of 30 or so balls.

As you can imagine this is not the nicest place in the world, but it is sufficient for banging golf balls.  It is just on the other side of the Mississippi River levee and as such is very flat and sometimes very muddy.  It  is what we call Continue reading “You do not have to do that, no one is watching”

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Boys Will Be Boys

golf-cartI generally work a half day on Fridays which allows me to go golfing in the afternoon if the weather is nice.  At the course I generally go to, they have a senior scramble Friday mornings.  When I say senior,  I mean most of the guys appear to be in their 60s and 70s. They are generally in the club house when I get there between 1 and 2.  They are going over the standings, prizes, etc. If not that they are in the parking lot unloading their golf carts.

I check in, and go to the first tee.  As I am warming up I hear all this racket, gravel spewing, old men laughing hysterically  and cheering.  I look through the woods to the graveled parking lot to discover that they are having golf cart drag races.

Of course, at this point in the round, more than a few Budweiser have had their tops popped.  However, boys will be boys no matter their age.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 5,156

…yeah I know you did not ask!

Gary McCord, the golf announcer, has this bit about naming his age spots. I thought that a fine idea, and started naming my age spots too. Quit some time ago, I ran out of names.

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Southern friendly vs. Midwestern friendly

We were out with a group of folks a while back and I made a comment about southern folk being friendly.  It was not mlp_fim_luna_woona_by_atticus83-d4a5eximeant to disparage Midwesterners, but one fellow did take slight umbrage.  He replied that Midwesterners were friendly too.

All things are relative.  Compared to folks in the northeast Midwesterners are extremely friendly.  Having lived in all three areas I have some experience with the general friendliness of the denizens of each.

Perhaps the best example I can give would be the golf course.  I have lived and played golf in the southern states of Arkansas, Oklahoma, Mississippi and Tennessee.  It is not uncommon for me to go to a golf course by my lonesome.  In the aforementioned states, I generally did not play by myself very often.  Generally if you were a single someone would ask you to join their group.  It was acceptable behavior to request to join a group that was smaller than a foursome.   In a new area after going to the same course a few times, you tend to bump in the same folks.  Pretty soon you have a group of golf buddies. Continue reading “Southern friendly vs. Midwestern friendly”