Cow Pasture Golf

I started golfing in my early 30s.  I will leave it to the you, esteemed reader, to calculate how long ago that was.   In retrospect one of the primary reasons I began this maldito sport was to have a mutual activity to do with my father.  Never a dear or cherished relationship it was improving ever so slightly in this period.

If you know anything about golf you know two very important things. First, it can be and frequently is very addicting.  Secondly, it is Continue reading “Cow Pasture Golf”

Almost an Ace?

Yesterday turned out nicer than they had prognosticated, still a little chilly, definitely a little windy, but no rain.  I decided at the last minute that I would take advantage of the day and play some golf.  Not being nice enough for Lil Blu, I threw my golf clubs into my pick-em-up truck and headed off to the course.  I ended up playing by myself which was okay. I don’t always enjoy my own company, but most of time I find it reasonably acceptable which is more than most folks find my society.

Being early in the golfing season, having done a fair amount of yard work Tuesday, I was a little rusty and more than a little stiff.  I struggled a bit on the front side, but my game started to come around towards the end of that nine.  I arrived at the twelfth hole  after going bogey, bogey, par, par on the last four holes.  That is good for me.  The twelfth hole is Continue reading “Almost an Ace?”

The Year I Almost Went to The Masters

When I moved back to Oklahoma from Rhode Island I went to work for Coburn Optical.  Their main line of business is the manufacturing of the machines that other companies use to modify lenses to mount in eye glasses.  They also have a division that takes orders to modify and mount lenses.  I was young, still working on my education, and my work experience had been in restaurants, factories and warehouses.  I was a warehouseman there.  I worked there from 1973 to 1976, leaving to move to Oklahoma City to pursue my educational goals.

My father had left his position with Kaman Aerospace and moved back to Muskogee, OK where my mother had been living for a while.  Looking around for a job he found one with Coburn and started there shortly after I left.  He moved up rapidly and after a while was managing the division that prepared lenses for other companies.  Part of his responsibilities involved making Continue reading “The Year I Almost Went to The Masters”

Speechless after that…

I went to the golf course the other day and picked up a game with a twosome on the first tee, two gentlemen around my age. We rocked along for 16 or so holes playing golf and occasionally, occasionally conversing.  Somehow the conversation turned to social media.

I remarked that I was not on any of it currently, and that I had gotten off of Facebook years ago after discovering that I did not  like many of my relatives. At least a big part of that was that many of my relatives had huge problems with my liberal politics and agnostic stance on religion, and I with their conservative politics and evangelic religion.

After hearing my comment about not liking my relatives, one of the gentleman remarked, “I don’t like anyone.”

Well…I did not know quite know what to say after that.  I’m not sure I have ever heard misanthrope so openly avowed.

One or the other…

I spent this past weekend in Memphis to play a little golf with a friend there.  I drove down Friday evening and we played Saturday and Sunday.  I hooked up with my golfing buddy Saturday morning at his house.  Because we were going to take his vehicle to the golf course I was rummaging around in my truck, getting out golf clubs, shoes, etc.  This is when I discovered my bicycle helmet in the backseat, triggering an idea for a little fun.

Before I went into his house I put the helmet on my pointy little head.  I then walked around inside his house  for a good 3 or 4 minutes without my buddy, his wife, their son or a visiting aunt saying a word, asking me why I had on the bicycle helmet.  I was waiting for the question, “Why are you wearing that helmet?” I was going to answer, “Because I have been golfing with Steve before!”  – Ba-dum-tssss –  I finally asked, “Is anyone wondering why I have on the bicycle helmet?”  Apparently they were not, perhaps they were practicing good manners by ignoring a faux pas by a guest.   I gave them my punch line anyway… tough crowd, at least they did not pelt me with rotten tomatoes.

Either I need to get a new set of comedy writers or dive deeply, searching my twisted, troubled, tortured, tragic, traumatized, tail-spinning ghost of a soul on how the world perceives it and me… or both.

And so it goes.

Word of the Day – Parvenu

  • Noun: Parvenu

    1. a person who has suddenly risen to a higher economic status but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class
  • Synonyms:
    1.  upstart
    2. nouveau riche
  • Usage:
    1. “’I brought the old guys so that my drives look that much longer,’ Watson joked. But we prodded. No, really, what’s the deal? Nothing against these guys, but most tour pros are surrounded by agents, managers, instructors, equipment reps, siblings, former college teammates and general parvenus. (Some pros have enough lackeys to field a softball team.)”
  • Encountered:
    1. While reading an Internet article: What would a tour pro shoot at your course? Bubba Watson helps us find out

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

Need some golf balls?

These are mostly brands that  I do not play… lots of Top Flite, Pinnacle, Maxfli,  etc.  I’m trying to get rid of them for 4 for a $1 on Next Door.  I might try Craigslist next, but a listing there always seems to bring out the crazies. Between my golf balls and the ceramic flowers that Robin continually makes, the basement is getting, shall we say, crowded.  We are selling flowers, too!

I have literally not bought golf balls this century. I have about as many of the premium brands I like to play, Titleist, Callaway, Nike, the better Bridgestones, etc. The premium brands go for $48 a dozen new.  Even cheap Top Flites are around $1 a piece brand new.

The forbearing Señora Weinhaus thinks Continue reading “Need some golf balls?”

The Pandemic Blues – Take II

I had a disturbing round of golf Friday.  Oh not about my golf game, I describe myself as a Dr. Hyde / Mr. Jekyll golfer.  I never know who is coming out, and sometimes I see both these sides in a single round of golf.  I figured out last millennium that I was never going to play golf professionally, or even at a stellar amateur level.  I am good with that.  I still enjoy the game.  My discomfort on this round of golf centered around attitudes about corona virus.

Let me describe where I golf most frequently.  It is across the Rio Mississippi in the small town of Columbia, IL. This is southern Illinois and it is hoosier land.  If your breed is more southern, substitute redneck for hoosier.  It is the same concept, different words. I go to this particular golf course as the rates are more reasonable than in Missouri, it is usually easy to get a tee time and the course is generally in good shape.  The greens always are.  While not the cow pasture golf Continue reading “The Pandemic Blues – Take II”

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,369

yeah I know you did not ask!

I’m a golfer.  Like every other golfer I know I have a love / hate relationship with the game.  It is the nature of the sport.  Round to round it is never the same.  About the time you have a glimmer of hope that you can play the game, the golf gods whack you up side the head and laughingly and not kindly say, “Silly mortal, you should know better!”

All that aside, there are a dumpster full of reasons of why I hate Gospodin Trump, but towards the top of that list is that he has made golfers and golf look so very bad. There is a time and place for everything… except, apparently if you are this POS POTUS.

You do not have to do that, no one is watching

I frequently golf in Columbia, IL across the Mississippi River from my home in Chesterfield, MO. The courses are a little cheaper over there, and a little easier to get on.  Also, over there is a driving range that is the bargain of the century.  They charge $5 and you can hit all the balls you want.  Just to give you a little perspective, most places charge between $10 to $12 for a bucket of 90 balls.  If you are at a golf course and want to warm up before your round, they will charge you $4 to $6 for a bucket of 30 or so balls.

As you can imagine this is not the nicest place in the world, but it is sufficient for banging golf balls.  It is just on the other side of the Mississippi River levee and as such is very flat and sometimes very muddy.  It  is what we call Continue reading “You do not have to do that, no one is watching”