Soy un comediante

There are a couple skills that a person needs when they start a language learning journey, but that are not mentioned in the syllabus.  One is that you need to accept making lots of mistakes and the other is that you need to be able to laugh at yourself.  It took me a while to realize this. Self-deprecating humor is my forte, but it  is difficult accepting the making of errors, partly because I am a bit of a perfectionist, ask anyone who has programmed behind me, partly because I could not laugh at myself about those mistakes, partly because I hate feeling stupid in front of someone else, it is bad enough in front of yourself.  It is the last that has flattened my Spanish learning curve, but I am somewhat more accepting of my foibles now.

I read an article on language learning sometime ago, and one of their theories was that it took 10,000 errors to learn a language.  If that is true then I should be speaking Spanish like Luisito Comunica. In another article I read that it required 10,000 hours to acquire a new skill (must be something magical about the number 10,000… I need to research that).  That sounds about right to me as it took me 4 or 5 years before I felt really expert at programming.  Of course, in IT about the time you get comfortable, the technology changes, you change jobs, or the job changes on you. Perhaps what I acquired with  my 10,000 hour investment  was an ability to learn, especially programming languages and software.  I wish that would bleed over a little into Spanish.

I’ve been working with a professional language teacher from Guatemala, Manolo Castillo, via Skype, for more time than he cares to recall. Besides grammar we will practice my conversational skills in order to increase my comfort level, to get me to use the language without thinking too much, and to improve my ability to express myself.  In this endeavor,  we have a tendency to cover a wide range of subject matter.

In the past, we had talked about police bribes in his country.  Apparently is not uncommon for the officers there to take small amounts of money. It is just the way it is.  I remember my father giving an Italian Carabinieri some money during a late night traffic stop . For some reason I never got around to asking my father about it while he lived, was it a bribe or a fine? I don’t remember how we got back on the subject of bribes this morning but he asked me if I had ever given policemen mordidas. The literal translation of the word is bites, but I had not heard it used in this context before.  However, due to the context I was reasonably sure I knew what it meant, so I asked him if it was a synonym for soborno which is bribe in English.  It probably comes from the same Latin root as the legal concept of subornation.  Once we cleared that up, he asked the question again.  I replied, “Tengo miedo de tratar a dar un sobrino a un policía. No quiero ir a cárcel. Almost before I could complete the second sentence he was practically rolling on the floor with laughter.  The literal translation of my utterance is “I have fear of trying to give a nephew to a policeman.  I don’t want to go to jail.”  The wiring in my brain misfired and I used the Spanish word for nephew, sobrino, instead of the word I needed, soborno.

So I want to take this opportunity to apologize to my nephews, Tom, Jason and Chae.  And to advise them if a policeman comes knocking on their door carrying flowers… Don’t open the door, perhaps even slide out the bathroom window!!!

And so it goes.

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