Some More on Phubbing

Below is an article from The Guardian on rules for phubbing

Stop phubbing! The 10 rules of smartphone etiquette – from the bathroom to your bed

The article listed 10 main bullet points:

• • Using your phone during sex
    • If you are looking at you phone I am not sure what you are doing, but it is not sex… unless you and your partner are sharing some porn.  That one blew my mind a bit.  Sex is all about getting lost in the moment. It is all about being completely there with another person… not scrolling through Facebook. I would be stomping off in a huff if my partner did this. Of course, from what I am hearing, they might be on Tinder looking for their next hookup!
  • Scrolling in the company of your pet
    • I saw a little girl, well a teenager, walking a small lap dog.  Her face was buried in her phone.  This poor, wee creature tried two or three times to squat to do its business, only to be dragged away by its owner, apparently lost in Instagram.  This does seem to be de rigueur, though, lost in your screen while walking your pet. This teenager was not the first person I had seen drag a dog out of “the position” while the owner was engrossed in YouTube videos.  I find walking Lily a nice time to be away from distractions… if you do not count Princess Lily spotting a squirrel or rabbit.
  • Waking up and turning to your phone before your partner
    • I’m a bit guilty of this as Robin tends to sleep longer than I.  I will get a cup of coffee, come back to bed and read the news on my phone… if Lily will let me alone.  The Wee Dog is very demanding about getting some attention first thing in the morning.  So I put the phone down and give her a good rub down.
  • Taking a call on public transport ( or just about any open public space)
    • I’ve been “chewed on” more than once as I did not realize someone was talking on their phone.  I heard them talking and thought it was directed at me.  And then there are extraordinary citizens wandering through the supermarket having the most personal of conversations as if they were in their easy chair at home.
  • Checking your phone during a meal
    • This is one one of my pet peeves.  If you are dining with someone, be present.  I remember seeing a young couple who appeared to be on a date.  From the outside it look like the date was not going well as both sat at the table in the restaurant looking at their respective phones while waiting for their food.  I generally leave my phone in the car if I am eating at a restaurant with someone else.
  • Staring at a screen while walking
    • I am surprised we do not read on a daily basis about someone dying while staring at their phone while crossing a street.  When I worked in downtown St. Louis, I saw, more than once, someone on their phone  or lost in Tik Tok videos, step into the street at a dangerous moment. An oops will not excuse you from the laws of physics.
  • Lowering eyes to a screen during conversation
    • My former boss had one of those obnoxious watches that received texts from her phone.  Before I knew what it is was, I got quite upset with her because she kept looking at her wrist.   I thought she was checking the time. I am sure whatever I was discussing was more important than whatever text she was receiving, especially so as I avoided talking to her except when absolutely necessary.
  • Scrolling while watching TV
    • Turn one or the other off.  Multitasking is a myth.
  • Using devices in the bathroom
    • Someone I live with is guilty of this. I just looovvvve being in a public restroom and someone is in a stall having an animated conversation on their phone.  I just want to start flushing every urinal and toilet I can.
  • Looking at your phone at a wedding or a funeral
    • Gauche to the max.  Why did you bother to come if you were not really going to be present to celebrate or to mourn. Or at least give the pretense of doing so.

One situation that was burned in my brain was when I was still living in Memphis and Robin could still bowl.  We were at the bowling alley and next to us was a group of teenagers…sort of bowling.  One young man, every time it was his turn, did not bother putting down his phone.  He would grab his ball, walk up to the line while looking at his phone, throw the ball somewhat in the direction of the alley, then walk back to his seat, without even watching to see how many pins he knocked down.  I was not sure why he was there, “bowling”. I am sure he has a high probability of having neck issues as he ages.

I remember reading a sci-fi novel in the 60s in which the author described everyone as having what were basically cell phones.  I remember thinking how incredible that sounded, and thinking if only it would come true.  Many times, now, I wish it had not, despite the convenience of the apparatus.

Probably with very little effort, someone could gather stories of phubbing and bad phone etiquette, and put them in a book.  It probably would not be a best seller, but I am betting it would sell more than a few copies.  We all have our stories.

And so it goes.

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