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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.153

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Señora and I were in Costco.  A gentleman more elderly than us passed us by with much promptitude.

I commented to Señora, “someone needs to call 911.”

When she looked at me queerly, I added, “someone stole his butt.”

The whole time she  was chastising me for my inappropriate, non-woke comment she was doing her damnedest to not burst out laughing.

The reality was that his posterior had fled to such an extent that I wondered how his britches maintained their position upon his waist without the succor of suspenders.

And so it was once upon a time in Costco.

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Maximize Utility…Baby!

I dug this picture out of an old photo album.  Why will be clear in a moment. This particular photograph was taken mid to late 80s. I don’t really remember when, but I look exceedingly young in the picture.  The occasion was my finally surrendering a jogging t-shirt to the trash can goddess.  I only wore this particular garment while jogging, in Arkansas, on country roads.  Admittedly, all the cotton had fled from this polyester-cotton blend, rendering the t-shirt see through, but how good a t-shirt do you need to sweat in?

My ex (and probably the kidrens) “convinced” me that Continue reading “Maximize Utility…Baby!”

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Towel Day – Thursday, May 25th

Okay, okay, okay… I am recycling this article as I am still waiting with my towel for that spaceship to pick me up – otherwise beam me up Scotty, it is too, too weird down here for me as of late.

Even a casual fan of science fiction is well aware of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and its sequels by Douglas Adams. As literature they are no great shake, but as entertainment they work very well.  They have made a movie and tried a TV series.  I generally like the books better than the movie and it holds in this case.

The basic premise is that just before earth is destroyed Continue reading “Towel Day – Thursday, May 25th”

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Señora Robinella

A friend and fellow teacher wrote this about Señora years ago.  When she rediscovered the document Señora talked about what a good friend she had been. However, due to her marriage and then her moving away Señora lost touch with her… something very rare indeed for Señora.

Click to see bigger

And so it was…

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Cheaper than Zoloft

One of our mishpocha sent me the following article: Why birds and their songs are good for our mental health

Señora and I have a large bird feeder with 4 stations.  We also keep a humming bird feeder out during their season.   I need to to count, but we have between 10 and 15 bird houses around the yard, most of them occupied.  Oh yes, and there is a bird bath, which reminds me I need to relocate it. The number of hours of joy we have gotten from these and their tenants over the years is incalculable.

I am hear to testify… can I get an hallelujah… that when the weather is nice and we have the AC/heat unit off, the windows open, there is nothing so peaceful as waking up at dawn with the birds singing in a wonderful chorus of different songs that seem to weave together into a symphony declaring what a wonderful day is in the offing.  Get up you old sleepy head.

Why would you need Zoloft or Jim Beam or Maui Waui when you have Mother Nature stroking your forehead via your auricular pathways?

And so it goes

 

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Señora – Breakfast in Bed

Señora and I were driving back from Chicago.  We were doing something we do not normally do.  We were listening to a rock station with a couple DJs who were under the overwhelming delusion that they were funny.

I do not remember what the exact context was, but they were talking about Mother’s Day, which is tomorrow – don’t you forget your mama y’all.  They were going on with something about breakfast in bed for the family matriarch.

Señora remarked, “I don’t know about breakfast in bed, but I would take lunch in bed!”

Reckon I have my Sunday lined out for me.

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,149

yeah I know you did not ask!

You are sitting in your vehicular mode of transportation.  You are at a traffic light.  The traffic light is red.  You are second in line.  The vehicle in front of you is a Dodge Durango. It is a Chesterfield police cruiser.

The light changes from red to green.  The member of Chesterfield’s Police Department driving the SUV must be involved with his cell phone, his on board computer, daydreaming… who knows.  He does not move.

My question is to you is, do you give this Chesterfield’s finest a little toot of your horn to alert him to the change in the status of the traffic light, or do you just sit there, gnashing your teeth, impatiently drumming your fingers on the steering wheel,  ruing the day you were born, waiting for him to come back down to earth?

I once followed a Chesterfield police cruiser going the same direction as me.  We made three left turns with him making a final left as I turned right.  He never once used his turn signal. I guarantee (as my Cajun coworker use to say,,,drawing the word out)  I was diligently using my factory installed method of indicating a change in direction in order to be courteous and safe… and to avoid any possible ticket.

Can you make a citizen’s arrest for traffic violations?

And so it goes.