Mantra is defined as: originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation. It has also come to mean: a statement or slogan repeated frequently. This is the sense with which I am using the word.
The phrase I have been saying to myself most frequently of late is “be gracious.” Obviously, I am saying this when I am feeling anything but. It is something I am finding harder and harder to do with this “Me First” culture that seems to be the norm these days. I kept telling myself I do not want to be that guy when I have an urge to be less than gracious. Although, frequently, my technique for being gracious is to remove myself from a situation when I find it difficult. I keep trying to picture myself as a kindly, white-haired, eloquent, elderly gentleman allowing the trials and tribulations of life to wash over me as gentle waves. Yes, yes, I know in that string of adjectives, only white-haired and elderly would be used by most of my acquaintances and relatives.
I would have thought that when I retired my level of stress would have diminished. After all I am not the person responsible for making sure the payroll software does not hinder getting the payroll out every two weeks, or any other roles I had in other jobs that involved large sums of money and much scrutiny by other departments. It does not seem to have worked that way. Clearly, other, more personal things are stressing me at this stage of my life.
The second phrase, which I frequently pair with the first, is, “don’t judge.” As an INTJ being judgmental is hardwired into my personality, especially as I have an analytic turn of mind… “don’t judge, be gracious.” I still would like to think that everyone is doing the best they can, although I do not truly believe that anymore. Oops, there I go being judgmental again.
Lastly, and as it affects me most often, the most necessary, is the phrase, “do it now while you are thinking about it.” All too often of late, I think I need to do this or that, saying to myself I will do it next, or in five minutes, or whenever, only to completely forget about it for an extended period of time.
So, there you have it, my self-talk.
Go listen to some Rickie Lee Jones.
That last one…oh, yeah! I’ve started using an app on my phone called “Keep Notes” to create lists of To-Dos. I add them as I think about them or I will simply forget when I walk through a portal…aka, a door.
That’s my story too. Medical issues and pain cycles push up my ability to play nice.