Maximize Utility…Baby!

I dug this picture out of an old photo album.  Why will be clear in a moment. This particular photograph was taken mid to late 80s. I don’t really remember when, but I look exceedingly young in the picture.  The occasion was my finally surrendering a jogging t-shirt to the trash can goddess.  I only wore this particular garment while jogging, in Arkansas, on country roads.  Admittedly, all the cotton had fled from this polyester-cotton blend, rendering the t-shirt see through, but how good a t-shirt do you need to sweat in?

My ex (and probably the kidrens) “convinced” me that it was time to give the t-shirt up, and not to be seen in public wearing the exceedingly breezy rag.  I am a little surprise my ex just did not “disappear” it. I am reasonably certain I maximized utility.

I was the one that made the decision to retire these shorts.  I just wore them  when lawn mowing, car washing or other honey-do projects around the homestead in warm weather.  I very rarely wore them to Lowes or Home Deport, and then only if I needed something in the middle of a project.

The seat of the pants went out for the second time while I was washing one of the vehicles.  Fortunately for the neighbors I was not going commando that particular day. The sidewalk in front of our house on nice afternoons is very busy with folks walking their dog or children, or simply strolling.  I briefly thought about patching them again, but I did not have an iron-on patch that big.  I am reasonably certain I maximized the utility.

However, I did want to recreate the first picture of me grieving over my t-shirt, while retiring these shorts.  Only difference that I noticed was that my mustache was a bit lighter in color in the shorts picture… ha ha.

Señora has been suggesting to me for a two or three seasons now that I might want to just consider shelving this sombrero.  I do not remember exactly when I bought this chapeau, but I remember that I was wearing it doing percolation test / designing septic systems in the mid nineties.  I had retired it as a golf hat as it was very sweat stained, and one should be styling and profiling on the golf course… yeah, right.  So the best I can figure is that the hat is at least 30 years young.

This article of clothing I do not wear to Lowes. But Señora  is always a bit embarrassed when I have the hat on and one of her mishpocha comes to visit.  It still gives nice shade, and it definitely is very airy.  How good a hat do you need to sweat in while mowing grass?  Still searching for maximal utility even with Señora threatening her own magic disappearing act.

Okay, this is a bit of a red herring.  Even cheap ass me does not use a toothbrush this long. This is one that I repurposed to clean my razor.  Even when I worked I did not shave except every second or third day.  My beard is just not that heavy.  However, this means the facial hair is a bit long when I do shave and tends to clog up all the new double and triple blade shavers.  Wait those have been around for decades, so not so new.  Anyway, I use an old toothbrush to clean out between the blades which have become clogged.  If I shave each morning the problem is not there.  But hey, someone is retired.  It took repurposing, but I did maximize the utility of this brush!

And so it goes in my parsimonious universe.

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2 Replies to “Maximize Utility…Baby!”

  1. I don’t have as much issue tossing worn clothes, unless they are souvenir t-shirts. Plant pots, on the other hand, almost have to disintegrate in my hands before I’ll pitch them. I finally toss a few yesterday.

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