It’s tough being an old man. I was sitting in Urgent Care waiting to be seen. You know I was not feeling well as I would just about as soon be sitting in a prison cell with Bubba and Roscoe eyeing me lustfully than go to the doctor, any doctor.
My son and his girlfriend were here with their pandilla de muchachos over Memorial Day weekend. I became very ill the Wednesday after they left Tuesday. I may have picked up something from them, or perhaps as we were out and about amongst the great mass of unwashed infidels, I contracted some sort of crud that way. Point being, I was not feeling well, and after a week of trying to let my body take care of the offending invader naturally, I gave up and sought medical attention. Or more honestly, I had been strongly urged multiple times to take such a radical measure. Even a young, strong man can only take so much that type of urging.
Also in the waiting room was another elderly gentleman sitting two or three seats to right of me. As we sat there this sweet young thing walks in and up to the receptionist. Let’s just say it was hard not to look at her. She had on a pair of very short shorts that barely covered the necessaries, anteriorly, and most importantly for our purposes, posteriorly. Thing was she had the gams to pull it off. Go ahead and pull our one of your detective novels from the 40s or 50s if you do not know what gams are. She was obviously old enough to take herself to the doctor, but from overhearing the conversation with the receptionist, she was still young enough to be on daddy’s insurance.
The testosterone, former programmer to accountants, part of me wanted to do a full blown visual audit of her assets. However, at a certain point in a man’s decrepitude, that becomes more than a little creepy. The elderly statesman portion of me was opposed to pulling an Arte Johnson. So… I proceeded to stare out the window until she sat down. I noticed that the other old geezer had done the same thing.
My blood pressure was only a little elevated when I finally got back to an examining room.
It’s tough being an old man.
And so it goes.