It is a wonder that I have kept any job.
In 2001 I took a programming job with Saks at their Information Technology center in Jackson, Mississippi. It is a long story how it came to be there, I will not bore you. At that time Saks was the parent company of Saks Fifth Avenue, and three other department store chains.
The week I started the departmental secretary sent me an email requesting that I write a short blurb about myself. She was going to put my “bio” and the photograph from my ID badge on the departmental bulletin board to introduce me to everyone. I did so, she did so, but she failed to read my expository remarks, simply cutting and pasting my profundities into her document.
A few days later she came to me all excited asking about what I had written, insistent that I “correct” it. Unfortunately not every one gets my sublime sense of humor. It might also be the reason that a year or so later when I asked her out, she was very adamant about having to wash her hair seven nights a week.
Just in case you cannot read the verbiage in the image here is what I wrote:
“David joined SAKS in February of this year. He came from American Electric Power in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is working as a Senior Programmer with Greg Kinsley’s IT Logistics Team. David has two kids and a granddaughter. They reside just outside Ft. Smith, AR. David resides in the Reservoir area. His interests include golf, photography, fishing and backpacking. He volunteers part-time with the Frankenstein Laboratory of Experimental Humanity.”
And so it goes.