I Taught Señora a New Cuss Word

I taught Señora a new four-letter word.  Well I might have had she been home.  All couples have their origin stories; our tale involves a lot of off-color words.

What got me scandalizing the neighbors Saturday was that one of the rear drive wheels of my new Toro lawnmower came off.  This mower is so new that just yesterday my check to pay off the credit card I charged it on cleared. I had ordered it online from Home Depot as they did not have it in stock at the Chesterfield store.  When I unboxed the mower I was glad to see Hecho en Mexico rather than Made in China.  I have two theories on what might have happened.  First theory is that they simply did not tighten the bolt holding the wheel onto the chassis sufficiently at the factory.  My second theory involves our fence.  The bottom rail of this slate fence is at a height that I occasionally get a wheel stuck on this board as I mow close to the fence, trying to minimize weed-eating.  Perhaps this, with it being a drive wheel, loosened the bolt while stuck.

Regardless of the reason, I let out a short, but heartfelt string of profanities.  I generally do not curse unless I am very mad, and occasionally for emphasis.  Unfortunately, neither Toro nor Home Depot heard my tirade, just possibly a neighbor or two if they had their windows open.

And yes, I was able to get the wheel back on.  But I had to take off the other one see how it fitted onto the chassis as there were multiple parts involved. Whatever happened to quality?

Oh… our origin story.  I had been here in St. Louis for a while working a contract with Edward Jones.  Not knowing anyone here, I decided to try a dating app, in this case the now defunct Yahoo Personals. I was mainly looking for someone to do the normal dating things with, and if it developed in a fringe benefit situation, so be it.  After a few coffee dates, I had become disenchanted with the process and was allowing my membership to lapse.  Within two weeks of the pending expiration I receive an email from Señora.  She was also allowing her membership to lapse… so apparently I was her one last Hail Mary pass.

She was intrigued by my tag line – NPR listening Liberal Okie, and if that is not an oxymoron, I don’t know what one is. I was intrigued by her face – kind, gentle, open, and definitely cute.  After a week of exchanging emails, we decided to meet for drinks at a local restaurant, Espino’s Mexican Bar and Grill. I was expecting just drinks and conversation, somehow we ending up dining, spending the next two hours talking non-stop.  What surprised me a bit was Señora’s colorful language.  I did not ask her if she was retired Navy, but I sure wanted to.   Fortunately, it did not stop us from going on a second date.  She told me afterwards that she was really, really nervous and did not remember using that much locker room language. Truth is Señora does not use foul language much, but she sure did that night.

And so it goes.

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