Category: Random Thoughts

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,232

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

There are many calendars in use in the world, such as the Hebrew calendar, the Chinese calendar, and the Islamic calendar.  The Julian calendar is still is used in parts of the world.  There may be more that I am not aware of.  Of course, the most common calendar worldwide is the Gregorian calendar, the one we here in the United States are most familiar with.

The Gregorian calendar (and Julian calendar) are divided by the time before the birth of Christ and the time after.  For most of my life this has been BC which stands for Before Christ, and AD  which stands for Anno Domini which is Latin for in the year of our Lord.

Quite some time ago this was decided to be cultural insensitive as there more religions than Christianity.  Currently, the BC has morphed into BCE which stands for Before the Common Era, and AD has changed into CE which stands for Common Era.

Fast forward… Frequently when folks are telling s story or referencing something they will use the phrase, “this was before cell phones.”  Perhaps we should now change our era nomenclature to BCP, Before Cell Phones, and ACP, After Cell Phones.

Or not.

Lagniappe:  There is no zero on the Julian and Gregorian calendars because the Romans did not have a zero in their number system.  This was a later import from the Arabic number system.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,390

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Not that it really applies as I want to be cremated, but I can see me knocking on the lid of my coffin needing to get out for just a minute to go to the bathroom just one more time before taking the final exit ramp.

Of course, that thought came about as my OAB has been exacerbated by the current course of prednisone I am undergoing.

Gotta love this getting old gig.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,366

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Plucking a doggie poop bag from the container attached to my end of the leash, I cleaned up Prancess Lily’s offering deposited in a neighbor’s yard, thinking to myself it is amazing how much of our lives we spend dealing with shit.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,683

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I am still not imbibing news, at least consciously. I do follow my investments on Google’s Finance page which at the end of my watch list always has news stories related to those investments or to the market in general.   Today one headline read that tRump was threatening 50% tariffs against our good friends in Europe.

For some reason a picture of the orange orangutan currently occupying the White House came to mind.  In this picture he is sit squatting in the Asian manner inside a zoo cage.  He is busily flinging his turds at the various zoo visitors passing in front of his cage.  For reasons unclear, the zookeepers have removed the glass partition that would have kept his excrement on his side of the wall. His malodorous missiles were landing pell-mell, but damaging those among us in the most need. Maybe if he turned that Bible upright… nah.

Outside of making him and his contemptuous cronies even richer,  I am still trying to figure out what the problem is that he is trying to fix.  He is making America anything but Great.

While this posting, A Jack Handey Fable, is about addiction, I see MAGA’s devotion to El puta pendejo naranja in a similar vein.

And so it should not go.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,646

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Recently here in St. Louis we had storms and tornadoes move through the metro area.  Except for some limbs down in the yard, we were okay, but were without power for nearly 30 hours.

During this period I discovered that I have basically forgotten how to cook without the use of a microwave.  Whether that is cooking or not is a discussion for another day.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #7,735

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

There is a deeply profound quote by the comedian Jerry Seinfeld that goes:

“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.”

I was thinking about this quote the other day as I was wondering what it would be like to actually understand women.  Would it be like looking into the sun without protective eye gear? Would it be like looking into the eye of Mordor?  Would you turn to stone as you would if you were to look a Medusa? Would it be your doom, like listening to the Siren’s song? Would it be like passing the light at the end of the tunnel, never to return?  Would the number 42 start flashing at you from the cosmos?

Asking for a friend.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #5,716

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

If Homo sapiens have a lingua franca, it is mathematics. Unfortunately, most of us only speak it at the most basic of levels, pidgin English, if you will.  At least sitting here in the United States.  I have the impression that math is emphasized more in other countries, much like second and third languages are more common outside our borders.

I could not stand it, so I looked up our ranking…

U.S. math scores decline dramatically on international test

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,274

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I tend to “meditate” in the downstairs bathroom as that is where we keep all our bathroom “literature”. The other two WCs are not arranged in a fashion that would not damage the books.  Frequently, afterwards, there is a malodorous miasma engulfing the whole of the first floor of our dwelling.  As I travel from there to other realms of our abode I will pass The Wee Dog, aka Prancess Lily, on one of her many perches.  I sometimes wonder if she is stewing, thinking why does he get to do it inside and he makes me go outside.

Or not… random thought INDEED!

I really just wanted to use the phrase malodorous miasma.  I will admit to having a weakness for puns (the worst the better), and, in this case, alliteration. While I am not aware of any, there should really be an AA style group for those of us suffering such a monstrous malady.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,192

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

As I stumbled back to bed after yet another early morning visit to the bathroom, I glanced at the clock radio. It read 4:44 . “Well,” thought I, “three of a kind with two of those in the hole. It is time to press your bets.”

I wondered how many other folks were playing pre-dawn poker at that instant.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,955

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I discovered what my super power is: getting a Walmart employee to engage with me.

Having gotten the attention of a blue-vested woman pushing a restocking cart around the Manchester Road Walmart – once the biggest in the world – I asked her where the frozen orange juice was, having already wasted a good five or ten minutes looking for it.  Turns out it was on the very bottom of one of the freezers. They only had the Wally World brand with very bland packaging. So between the two, the OJ was not jumping to get into my shopping cart.

As I was watching The Associate key into her Walmart app the location of the item I was looking for, I begin to wonder… can you get carpal tunnel syndrome from such ferocious activity with your opposable digits?

Yes Michelle I know the anatomy.  It was just a random thought watching her key with her two thumbs so rapidly.

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