Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Masculine Hemline Index


There is a theory, The Hemline Index, that always seemed a little tongue-in-cheek to me, that women’s hemlines follow the stock market.  In good economic times the hemlines get shorter, in poor times they get longer.  Some proponents seem to think there is a reverse correlation between good economic times and women’s hemlines.

For a while now I have been wondering about the length of the inseam (aka hemline) of men’s shorts or what, back in my day, we called Bermuda shorts. Men’s shorts are omnipresent around St. Louis as there seems to a subset of Continue reading “Masculine Hemline Index”

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I CAN Be Nice…

Señora had an endoscopic exam yesterday.  I was in the recovery area with her when the doctor came in to go over the results with us. He was the same doctor that has done two colonoscopies and an endoscopy on this old curmudgeon over the years.

He goes into is canned patter, sticking his hand out to me, saying, “Glad to meet you.”

I repressed my strong impulse to say, “Doc, we have met before.  You just do not recognize me from this end.”

Instead I just nodded my head and shook his hand.

Occasionally I can do the socially correct behavior.

And so it went, once upon a time.

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The False Reality of Loneliness | Hello Eleanor Rigby

I am a bit skeptical of this video as this is one of those fuzzy areas people so want to believe. Plus anything associated with the Templeton Foundation sets off red flags and sirens for me.  However, the video does bring up some interesting thoughts to contemplate.

The reason it caught my attention

I occasionally will write blog articles I never intend to publish, just to get things off my chest.  Back in the day I use to write letters and tear them up.   I am including the article I never intended to publish at the end of this one.  Please no sticks or stones…

I had titled this article simply Eleanor Rigby

When I was younger, much, Continue reading “The False Reality of Loneliness | Hello Eleanor Rigby”

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I Think I Am a Little Jealous

Señora has been seeing a new massage therapist for a while now.  I understand her need for massages with all the issues going on in her delightful but fragile body. However, she generally comes home crowing about what a wonderful masseuse this immigrant from Russian or Ukraine is.

Now add to this his back story of being an immigrant working seven days a week to send his child through college.  Sure has my furry, bouncy, big-eyed puppy on a leash beat for touching the heart strings of the fairer sex.

I sometimes feel that if I could make Señora feel ten percent as good in bed as she seems to feel from her time on his table, she would be strutting around the barnyard clucking about Studmeister Redneck to all the world.

I think I am a little jealous.

She recommended this gentleman to a good friend of hers, La Guapa.  Now La Guapa is crowing about the magical touch of the therapist.

It makes me want to go the masseuse school… barring that I am sure Señora would share his contact information.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #5,081

Sometimes all it takes to be nice, to be kind, to be gracious, to be compassionate, is to maintain your silence.  A small effort in this maelstrom of slings and arrows of outrageousness we call life.

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Gun Death Statistics to Ruminate On

One of the 3.141592 regular readers of my blog, upon reading Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #7,420 that dealt with the Spanish word for mass shootings, tiroteo, commented that the number of gun deaths in the USA roughly corresponds to an Oklahoma City bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building every two days.  In that terrorist attack, 168 folks were lost, including 19 children.  Of course, this started me thinking once again about gun death statistics in the USA.

Some Quick Hitting Facts

According to the page on gun deaths on the web site for the National Safety Council: Continue reading “Gun Death Statistics to Ruminate On”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #7,420

There is one word in Spanish that I should never had had to learn, tiroteo.  The literal translation is shooting, but they seem to use in the sense of mass shootings.

Obviously with the situation with guns here in the United States, with mass shootings seemingly happening every week, sometimes multiple times, if you are discussing the news with someone in another country, the subject of mass shootings is going to come up.

It is one word/concept that I wish I had never heard of… or learned in another language.

And so it should not go.

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Some More on Phubbing

Below is an article from The Guardian on rules for phubbing

Stop phubbing! The 10 rules of smartphone etiquette – from the bathroom to your bed

The article listed 10 main bullet points: Continue reading “Some More on Phubbing”

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Mother Nature is a Bee..aacchh.

Recently I was standing at the kitchen sink, sipping my morning coffee as I stared out the window into the backyard at the new day. I noticed a robin that was acting a bit peculiar. He would hop to my left suddenly, then just as suddenly he would hop back to the right.  He had done this jig two or three times when curiosity overwhelmed me and I put my nose closer to the picture window framing our back yard.

To my left, in the flower garden containing the bird feeding station, on the ground, was a Continue reading “Mother Nature is a Bee..aacchh.”

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Another Opening Sentence

Another opening sentence for a larger story or possibly a story in itself.

Rising from the bed, stretching, he began wading through the archipelago of scattered, hastily discarded clothing on his way to the bathroom, glancing back towards the bed before he closed the door, a wry smile crossed his face as he remembered the activities of the previous night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know… from time to time these musings pop into the labyrinth that passes for my mind.  I need to do something with them, so here it sets. Don’t worry, I’ve become very adept at dodging rotten tomatoes, thank you very much.

“Blissful smile” was my first choice, but I went with”wry smile” as it puts a completely different spin on the sentence, leaving questions unanswered.

For another article along this same vein: 2 One sentence short stories

And so it goes.