Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,955

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I discovered what my super power is: getting a Walmart employee to engage with me.

Have gotten the attention of a blue-vested woman pushing a restocking cart around the Manchester Road Walmart – once the biggest in the world – I asked her where the frozen orange juice was, having already wasted a good five or ten minutes looking for it.  Turns out it was on the very bottom of one of the freezers. They only had the Wally World brand with very bland packaging. So between the two, the OJ was not jumping to get into my shopping cart.

As I was watching The Associate key into her Walmart app the location of the item I was looking for, I begin to wonder… can you get carpal tunnel syndrome from such ferocious activity with your opposable digits?

Yes Michelle I know the anatomy.  It was just a random thought watching her key with her two thumbs so rapidly.

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‘Fess Up…

A package arrived from Amazon this afternoon.  Since neither one of us was expecting anything, it was a bit of a surprise.  Being addressed to me, I opened the plastic Amazon mailer to find a CD, specifically Jimmy Buffet’s Equal Strain on All Parts.  However that was all that was in the package.  I had no way of knowing who sent this CD, in all likelihood for mi cumpleaños, which is mañana.

One of my many, many pet peeves is persons who receive gifts but do acknowledge that gift.  I do not know want to be that person. I could hazard a guess, but to ask someone if they sent me a gift has a bit of the flavor of guilt induction if they were not the one.

So if you are the one, let know so that I can at least thank you with a quick email.  However, not everyone who loves me — I almost kept a straight face — subscribes to my silly, little blog.  In which case, I will just keep trying to finger it out.

Now don’t all of you try to claim credit!

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I Scared Myself

Something in my mouth was bothering me.  I could not figure out if I had something in my teeth or had developed some sort of lesion on my gums or…

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror making various faces, attempting to get a view of the issue.  All of sudden I realized that Pennywise was staring at me out of the mirror in the guise of my father.  Well, at least the way I was contorting my face so reminded me of my male parental unit.  One time when I was taking his picture and he, perhaps, preferring that I did not, was making faces at the camera lens.  That is what I saw in the mirror.

I probably interpreted it as Pennywise as I finally got around to reading some Stephen King.  First I read his initial novel, Carrie, and then It.  Of course, It features a monster that frequently appears as a clown and in mirrors.

And just to do him justice, here is a better photograph of my father.

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Talk to the Lady…Please

Señora had a small fender bender in a parking lot in her Subaru Outback.  She is fine, minor damage to the vehicle. Thanks for asking.

This morning we dropped her automobile off to the body shop.  Since it is Señora‘s car and  she had been dealing with the insurance company and body shop I was trying to stay out of her way.  I ended up in a conversation with a gentleman awaiting his turn.  It turned out he was another IT guy who had been through a few corporate merger/divestiture nightmares like myself, so we had a commonality to talk about.

We finished up there, and I drove Señora across the street to the Enterprise Auto Rental office.  Again I was trying to stay out of Señora‘s way, but this time there was no IT guy to visit with. Having no where else to be, I was standing next to Señora while they were Continue reading “Talk to the Lady…Please”

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Hands Off Protest St. Louis April 4th – Pictures

This is a heavily Republican state.  Our particular district is so Republican it makes the rest of the state feel liberal.  I will have to confess I have been feeling hopeless and isolated when all I mainly see around me is a tsunami of red hatted MAGAs.

Señora and I attended one of smaller Hands Off rallies at the next little suburb from us, Ballwin.  It took place on Manchester Road (old Route 66), a heavily trafficked thoroughfare lined by shopping centers, car dealerships, restaurants, etc. Turn out to this event would have been amazing if it had been a warm, sunny day. It was not. Temperature was in the mid 40s. It was raining much more heavily than was comfortable with thunderstorms predicted. Given that, the turn out was phenomenal.  If you are familiar with this street, protestors were lined up on the north side from the 141 overpass to Home Depot, with many more on the south side of the street.

Besides the protesters on foot, many cars were driving by with anti-this-pathetic-excuse for an administration signs in their windows. Many more were honking and waving in support. My unofficial, unscientific survey was that for every car that drove by flipping off the protesters there were 200 or 300 honking and waving in support.

One protest is not going to do it.  We need to protest often and in large groups.  We need to get rid of tArse and his clown alley of Nazis who are hell bent on destroying our nation.

Finally the promised pictures:

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Just as a little side note.  Señora kept her streak alive.  We can hardly go anywhere in the St. Louis area without running into someone she knows. We ran into several at this rally.

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Keying Telsas – I stand corrected

In a previous post, As seen on the back of a Telsa, I stated while I had heard of Telsa dealerships being vandalized, I had not heard of individual cars being targeted. I stand corrected.

Folks are targeting individual’s Telsas: Man faces felony charge for vandalizing Tesla

While I would never do it, I have fantasized about spray painting a slogan or two on the nightmarish Telsa Cybertruck.  Has there ever been a more ill-conceived mass produced vehicle?

I would not buy a 100% electric car at this point as they do not fit my style of driving given their current range and long charge times.  And if I did it would not be a Telsa.  I decided several years Continue reading “Keying Telsas – I stand corrected”

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Whatcha want for your birthday?

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call, The Twilight Zone.” ~~ Opening sequence of the early 60s iconic TV show,  The Twilight Zone

I offer for your consideration an elderly  gentleman somewhere in the heartland of this country.  For the moment he has gratefully forgotten the onrushing anniversary of his appearance on the only habitable planet revolving around a minor star, in a minor solar system, in a minor galaxy, in a dimensionally challenged universe.

He sits enthroned on his favorite recliner, the ice cubes in his glass of lemonade rattling in his left hand, his right clutching a remote control. For the moment he is enraptured by a random professional bowling tournament on his television.  It is at this instant that his spouse saunters into Continue reading “Whatcha want for your birthday?”

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As seen on the back of a Telsa

As I was walking The Wee Dog, aka Prancess Lily,  around da’ hood, I came across a Telsa Model Y —  seems like every third car in our neighborhood is a Telsa — with this bumper sticker.

Obviously a riff on E.T. Phone Home from the mega-popular 1982 movie, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Was it really 43 years ago when this movie came out, wow!

While I have not heard of people’s personal Telsas being vandalized, I know that some dealerships have had problems.  So perhaps this was a self-protective move, but I am going with it as a political statement.  A little glimmer of hope in the current shit storm going on in this country???

When we were in Mexico, a Canadian man we were visiting with told me about a friend of his that was selling his two Telsas as he did not now want to own anything associated with President Muskrat.

I did see another bumper sticker that still has me scratching my head, especially as Google was no help with this one.  The bumper sticker was not red. It was not blue. It was green and read “Make America A Reality Again”.  Are they expressing support for El puto pendejo naranja or opposition?

One day the MAGAs are going to wake up with the worst hangover in history after realizing they have been played so badly.

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Quote of the Day — Turkish Proverb

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.”~~ Turkish Proverb.

A little research revealed that this is not an actual Turkish proverb, but that the proverb has been adopted from a Circassian proverb:

“When an ox moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king, but the palace becomes a barn.”

Either one works for me to describe the current cluster f*** in Washington.

To see more Quotes for Day, visit this link: Quotes for the Day

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Google Kowtowing to the Idiocracy

Screw Google and screw those idiots occupying the White House.  This the GULF OF MEXICO.  It is not the Gulf of America.  I am surprised El puto pendejo naranja  did not name it the Gulf of Trump.

I am so embarrassed to be a citizen of this country with such a person occupying the presidency.  I have been wanting to call this administration The Gang That Could Not Shoot Straight, but that would be a compliment for them.

When will this nightmare end?

I complained to Google about this change and it would wonderful if a lot of other folks did too.  However, they do not make it easy to send them feedback.  I hunted around for 10 minutes before I figured out how.  And then there is the fact that they really do not care what I think.

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