Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,274

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I tend to “meditate” in the downstairs bathroom as that is where we keep all our bathroom “literature”. The other two WCs are not arranged in a fashion that would not damage the books.  Frequently, afterwards, there is a malodorous miasma engulfing the whole of the first floor of our dwelling.  As I travel from there to other realms of our abode I will pass The Wee Dog, aka Prancess Lily, on one of her many perches.  I sometimes wonder if she is stewing, thinking why does he get to do it inside and he makes me go outside.

Or not… random thought INDEED!

I really just wanted to use the phrase malodorous miasma.  I will admit to having a weakness for puns (the worst the better), and, in this case, alliteration. While I am not aware of any, there should really be an AA style group for those of us suffering such a monstrous malady.

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Sheer Hubris

The following video was passed on to me by one of my Spanish tutors who is Mexican and lives a little north of Mexico City in Querétaro. Apparently the United States is running this ad on Mexican television.  Having become skeptical of most things on da ‘Net, I did a search (on the da ‘Net) to see if it was real.  It is.  Kristi Noem’s TV Ad Calling to ‘Hunt’ Down Migrants Faces Ban

Besides the sheer hubris of this country running this ad in another country, my other thought was that if they have millions of dollars to run such ads why are they not spending those millions of dollars on US citizens??? My other question is, why are we arguing with our good neighbors, Mexico and Canada? It makes absolutely no sense anyway I dice it.  It is simplistic on my part, I am sure, but if you want to fight illegal immigration, one good way would be to help provide economic opportunities in their countries.  Most of these folks are just looking for work, for opportunities that are not currently available in their country. That too would be a better use of those millions of dollars.

But then on the other hand we have a similar situation here.  It is called Fox News which was started and probably still owned by a foreign national, Rupert Murdoch. I have never figured out if Fox News was one of the causes or a symptom of our current national malaise. Probably both.

And so it should not go.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,192

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

As I stumbled back to bed after yet another early morning visit to the bathroom, I glanced at the clock radio. It read 4:44 . “Well,” thought I, “three of a kind with two of those in the hole. It is time to press your bets.”

I wondered how many other folks were playing pre-dawn poker at that instant.

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Good Article: The world has a verdict on 100 days of Trump 2.0

From the article:

“But the lesson for Americans couldn’t be clearer, even at a moment when the domestic carnage inflicted by the Trump regime feels limitless and irreparable. To everyone else in the world, his first 100 days have been a flatulent self-own, and an unexpected boon for normie centrist politicians all over the democratic map who seemed, only months ago, to be facing Armageddon. Right-wing populists like Viktor Orbán and Marine Le Pen have begun to back away in embarrassment: Sorry, new phone. Donald who?”

Read the whole article here: The world has a verdict on 100 days of Trump 2.0: Wow, what a loser

No comments from me except that it is a good article worth the read.

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Arkansas vs. Arkansaw

As you probably know, Spanish is a phonetic language although it has its own peculiarities. For instance  the “H” is never pronounced, “B” and “V” for the most part sound the same, “Z” sounds like our “S” except in Spain where it has a more lispy sound, etc.

I bring this up as when I am visiting with folks in Latin America I sometimes will talk about Arkansas as I lived there for many years, and still visit there on occasion.  Spanish speakers always want to pronounce it as ar-KAN-sas,

Below you will find the rest of the story as Paul Harvey used to say:

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I’ve fallen in love with a YouTuber

I’ve fallen in love with a YouTuber, specifically a German who uses the moniker of The Math Queen: Her YouTube channel 

It doesn’t hurt that she is easy on the eyes, but what I really love about her is watching her mind work.  Does not quite enter the realm of affecting my nitric oxide production, but close.

Above is a link to her YouTube channel, and below is one of her easier videos to get you started:

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Bumper Stickers from Etsy

A friend of mine fell down the Internet rabbit hole called Etsy.  He sent me the following:

Nothing is further from the teachings of Jesus Christ than the Republican Party. 

No one is an illegal on stolen land.

If illegal immigrants are “freeloaders” why is ICE always raiding work places?

No child wants to die for your second amendment rights.

If you are more concerned with making other peoples lives worse than making your own life better than you must be a Trump supporter.

Everybody has the right to be stupid. Republicans are abusing the privilege.

Disliking a fact does not make it fake news

We longer have a difference of political opinion, we have a difference in morality,

Try being informed instead of just opinionated.

Don’t like abortions? Ignore them like you do school shootings.

One day we will wake up to his obituary.

If only closed minds had closed mouths.

Imagine voting for a rapist then calling yourself a Christian.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

https://www.etsy.com/market/annoy_a_republican_bumper_sticker?ref=pagination

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Better If I Stayed Home

I am beginning to think it would be better for me not to go out of the house for the next four years.  If there were any power in prayer that four years would be much shorter, much much shorter.  Is it bad to pray to wake up the next morning and be able to read someone’s obituary?  Of course, I really do not believe in prayer power.  When I feel the urge to pray I interpret it as telling me that there is a problem I need to focus on or let go.

It is springtime and with that comes a few trips to the local Lowes, Home Depot, etc.  As I was walking into Lowes this Friday morning there was a middle-aged “gentleman” wearing a t-shirt that read “Trump Won“.  In all likelihood it was from the 2020 election cycle and the attempted coup of our democracy.

I saw that t-shirt and it was like a demon took over my body.  My face flushed with anger, the flight or fight response kicked in, mainly on the fight side.  Before I could catch myself (normally I just shake my head and try to ignore such ignorance), I found myself putting my right hand on his left shoulder and proclaiming, “most of us are sorry that fucking idiot won.”

His response, “I love this shirt.”

Fortunately I was able to control myself and not escalate the situation.  What nearly popped out was something along the lines of, “well that shirt does scream I have a  low IQ  or I lack critical thinking abilities.”

I am blaming it on the gummies.  The first week after the election I imbibed more marijuana that week than I had in the whole previous 40 years.  I have slowed down a little, but not much.  The one thing I ever had faith in or put my belief in was the United States of America.  Now El puto pendejo naranja and his gang of fascist thugs are busily dismantling this country.  There is no sane or logical reasons for what they are doing to my once beloved country and to the world to some extent.  I absolutely cannot stand reality right now.  Yeah RawDog2, I know THC does not make you violent, but it does relax inhibitions.

Pray for me.  Either I am going to end up in the hospital or in jail for battery after a confrontation of this type.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,955

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I discovered what my super power is: getting a Walmart employee to engage with me.

Having gotten the attention of a blue-vested woman pushing a restocking cart around the Manchester Road Walmart – once the biggest in the world – I asked her where the frozen orange juice was, having already wasted a good five or ten minutes looking for it.  Turns out it was on the very bottom of one of the freezers. They only had the Wally World brand with very bland packaging. So between the two, the OJ was not jumping to get into my shopping cart.

As I was watching The Associate key into her Walmart app the location of the item I was looking for, I begin to wonder… can you get carpal tunnel syndrome from such ferocious activity with your opposable digits?

Yes Michelle I know the anatomy.  It was just a random thought watching her key with her two thumbs so rapidly.

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‘Fess Up…

A package arrived from Amazon this afternoon.  Since neither one of us was expecting anything, it was a bit of a surprise.  Being addressed to me, I opened the plastic Amazon mailer to find a CD, specifically Jimmy Buffet’s Equal Strain on All Parts.  However that was all that was in the package.  I had no way of knowing who sent this CD, in all likelihood for mi cumpleaños, which is mañana.

One of my many, many pet peeves is persons who receive gifts but do acknowledge that gift.  I do not know want to be that person. I could hazard a guess, but to ask someone if they sent me a gift has a bit of the flavor of guilt induction if they were not the one.

So if you are the one, let know so that I can at least thank you with a quick email.  However, not everyone who loves me — I almost kept a straight face — subscribes to my silly, little blog.  In which case, I will just keep trying to finger it out.

Now don’t all of you try to claim credit!

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