Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,535

yeah I know you did not ask!

Me speaking commandingly to myself, “Job is not done until the tools are put away, David Stephen.”

Me replying to myself somewhat sarcastically, “Sir, Yes Sir, Daddy, Sir.”

Admittedly being orderly and maintaining your tools and equipment are not bad habits to have. However, my father routinely employed a Victorian modality of instruction with his five progeny. It is not a method formulated to foster fond memories.  As he had a successful career, I can only assume that he utilized a different instructional paradigm when imparting information in his capacity as a technical representative for an aerospace company.

My name/names within the family and extended family are a whole other blog posting… but don’t hold your breath.

And so it goes.

 

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,471

yeah I know you did not ask!

I don’t want to say that I am old, but I remember a time when all supermarkets had bag boys who carried your groceries out for you.  And boys is correct.  It was never a female, and they were generally young.  If you had only 1 or 2 bags of groceries they would carry them out and put them in your car.  If you had a buggy load they wheeled that out for you, and again loaded them into your car.  People may have tipped them, but I don’t remember my mother ever doing so.

For various reasons, today for the first time, I used curbside pick-up.  It was from the pharmacy at the Sam’s Club in Chesterfield valley.  Hmm, I thought as the member of the Curbside Team handed me a bag full of drugs, COVID has brought back bag boys.  Of course this time it is not restricted to males or the young.

Posted on

I Taught Señora a New Cuss Word

I taught Señora a new four-letter word.  Well I might have had she been home.  All couples have their origin stories; our tale involves a lot of off-color words.

What got me scandalizing the neighbors Saturday was that one of the rear drive wheels of my new Toro lawnmower came off.  This mower is so new that just yesterday my check to pay off the credit card I charged it on cleared. I had ordered it online from Home Depot as they did not have it in stock at the Chesterfield store.  When I unboxed the mower I was glad to see Continue reading “I Taught Señora a New Cuss Word”

Posted on

A Polemic – Which Is the Greater Sin?

I really do not believe in the concept of sin, at least in sin as defined in the Christian Bible.  The idea that there is a god that will condemn the soul of one of his creations to burn in the fires of hell for all eternity for some behavior during their all too short life span is more than I can give credence to. But then I also do not believe in the concept of heaven or hell.  I have no idea if we have a soul or not, the rational part of me believes that death is simply the extinguishing of a light, no big deal.

However, I do believe that there are any number of human behaviors and actions that can be classified as “sins”. For me a sin is any action or behavior that damages another being either physically, mentally or emotionally.  I would also put into the definition harming the environment, the planet, the overuse of resources, basically any unethical behavior that reaches Continue reading “A Polemic – Which Is the Greater Sin?”

Posted on

Where’s the Pause Button?

There is a common cliché about your life passing before your eyes just before you die.  If such be true then perhaps my body/mind knows something I don’t know.  The last few months my life in review has been on a never-ending loop.  I ache to stop it, but expressing with the new word Señora taught me eons ago, I keep perseverating on the past.  If I could escape out of my mind I would.  Maybe I have already and I do not know it.

This perseveration likely has more to do with the fact that I just turned 70. I reckon I should be celebrating that I have reached this milestone Continue reading “Where’s the Pause Button?”

Posted on

What is a Curmudgeon + a Luddite?

Just to get everyone on the same page here are the dictionary definitions:

Curmudgeon – crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man ( although I would argue curmudgeonry knows no age or gender barriers)

Luddite – (derogatory) a person opposed to new technology or ways of working.

While you can certainly be one without being the other, it is not uncommon to see them packaged together.

All which got me wondering, what would you call such a person?  My initial response was Curd-lite, but that is very close to that awful, but most popular of beers, Bud Lite. I did like the fact that a curd is formed from the souring of milk. I also thought of Crud-lite, but that did not ring in my ears.

Then I thought of Ludgeon or Ludgeonite, either of which are sonorous and roll off the tongue nicely.

There are any number of possible combinations then I realized that there is one existing – old fogey.

And so it goes.

Posted on

A Room with a View

And no I am not E. M. Forster…

This is the view right now from our second story master bathroom.  What you cannot appreciate in the photos is the number of bumble bees buzzing amongst the lilacs.  Last year our lilacs and most of our clematis were zapped by a late freeze, not so this year.  It so pleasant this time of year to sit on the patio and smell the roses lilacs.

When I lived in Memphis part of one of my jogging routes was through what was essentially a tunnel of lilacs vines.  In the springtime the aroma of the lilacs was almost overpowering.  It always reminded me of hobbits.  I do not remember exactly where in the books, but there is a scene where the hobbits are overwhelmed by a sweet fragrance, if memory serves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so it goes.

Posted on

Me Be Bragging

Click to see full size

Well… no monster, but as big as a big mouth bass as I have caught in a while.  And before one of my siblings starts in on photographic perspective,  I challenge them to find a fishing photo that does not use this classic composition.

This particular fish was fun to catch as I was in my fishing kayak and was using an ultralight rig with 6 pound test.  She (full of eggs she was) took off running 3 different times making my drag hum each time.  All the while I had to position the kayak on a windy day to get it in a better position to land her after her last run.   Definitely, a very enjoyable battle.

Normally I am a catch and release fisherman, mainly because I do not like to clean fish even though I like to eat them.  However, part of the agreement on fishing this particular honey hole on private property is that I keep all I catch.  They are trying to decrease the fish population on the hope that will lead to more trophy size bass.   I am glad to do my part, and Señora and I both like  to eat fish.

Let an old man brag a little.

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #380

yeah I know you did not ask!

There is an old Jeff Foxworthy joke about a fellow with big ears, a big nose, big hands and big feet.  Jeff after describing him vividly goes on to say he better be packing as he sure is ugly.

Of course, there are all sort of anatomical formulas with various body parts used in an attempt to guesstimate the size of a man’s “package”, big ears, big noses, big hands and big feet being the most popular.

For most of my adult life I have worn either a size 10 or a size 10 1/2, depending on the brand or style.  In my decrepitude the size has crept up to an 11.  Sunday I bought a new pair of Sperry boat shoes and they were a size 11 1/2.  It is common for the shoe size to get bigger with age as the feet tend flatten.  However… I have not seen the corresponding increase to validate the formulas which does not hardly seem fair to me.  And am I now guilty of false advertising?