Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Etiquette Questions

Scenario #1 – You are in Safeway, Saks Fifth Avenue, Wal-Mart, wherever it is that you like you like to shop.  The Sweet Young Thing  (SYT) in front of you decides to get something from the bottom shelf.  In order to do so she bends over from the waist revealing the required tattoo in the small of her back.

Etiquette question #1 – Are you allowed to compliment her on her tattoo?

Etiquette question #2 – Let’s say for the sake of argument the answer to question one is yes.  Can you then go on to compliment her on her pretty thong?

Scenario # 2 – I was at the golf course paying my green fee.  The bar maid / cashier had a form fitting zip up sweatshirt. The zipper was pulled down or only pulled up to a point about a hands width above her belly button.  This revealed (among other things) a pretty white lacy bra.

Etiquette question # 3 – Am I allowed to ask what detergent she uses to keep her unmentionables so white?

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Here’s your sign

I went golfing today and drove my MX-5.  I arrived at the course and had my golf shoes on, and my bag out the trunk.  The trunk was still open as I was ascertaining the status the golf ball supply on board my bag.

An elderly gentleman (he was older than me so he had to be elderly) walked up to me and said while pointing to my trunk, “You get them clubs out there?”

First thing that I thought of was Bill Engvall of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and his catch phrase of “Here’s your sign.”  I was so tempted to say, “No, I always come to the golf course hoping to find a stray set of golf clubs; here they are and here’s your sign.”  But I restrained myself.

Of course, the question he meant to ask was, “How do you get those clubs in that little bitty car?”  Since my mama raised me to be polite, I said, “Those Japanese engineers are just geniuses.”  I then proceeded to explain to him the trick of getting the clubs in and out of the trunk

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Chrome Wheels and Bagdad

I was listening to an NPR story about payday loan companies outside of Fort Pendleton in California.

There was a big push on to do something about them for various reason, not the least of which is that some of them were charging what was effectively 300% interest per year.

They were interviewing one of the operators of a payday loan operation, and one of his comments was, “Who are they to tell a boy about to go over to Bagdad that he cannot have $1800 wheels on his vehicle?” His comment just blew my mind for some reason.

Having never taken a payday loan, I don’t quite understand the concept.  But if I were to do such a thing it would not be for $1800 chrome wheels.

And if I were charging 300% interest I sure as heck would not use a kid wanting $1800 chrome wheels as justification.

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Health Care Triage

I was passed an email that was basically trashing Hillary and Hillary’s proposed health care plan in particular.   Frankly, I have not studied or read enough about her plan to really comment on it.   And normally, I just let emails like this  pass, but for some reason I felt compelled to respond to that one.   Below is my response:

I’ve been thinking about this a little. One the issues with any health care plan is triage.   Basically, there are limited medical resources to go around no matter what the system.  So the question becomes how do we distribute those limited resources and who makes that decision.

Route 1:
This method would be by finances, which is basically in effect today.  If you got the money, you got the care.  Obviously this favors the wealthy over the poor and increasing the middle class

Continue reading “Health Care Triage”

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Iowa Fun Facts

I recently spent several hours driving through parts of Iowa away from the interstate.  I begin to wonder exactly how much of Iowa was covered with corn.

Iowa is 55,869.36 squares miles in size.  There are 640 acres in a square mile therefore Iowa contains 35,759,390.4 acres of land.

2007 they planted 14.3 million acres of corn in Iowa, the most in the nation.  That means 39.9% of Iowa is covered with corn this time of year.

2007 they planted 8.8 million acres of soy beans or 24.6% of Iowa.

2007 they planted 2.5 million acres in hay (2 types) and oats or 7% of Iowa.

Between the 5 crops 71.5% of Iowa is covered with crops.

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Up a notch? Maybe…

I sort of fantasized today that I had stepped up one level in my bicycling.

It was very windy today, and that makes cycling into the wind difficult.  I was on the open stretch between the park and where the trail crosses the Missouri River and drops down onto the Katy Trail.  It is very exposed and I was giving it my all to keep a decent speed.   A couple miles before the Katy Trail parking lot I noticed someone behind me.   I fully expected them to pass, but they stayed there. They drafted behind me for those two miles.   It did have the effect of keeping me from slacking off, and a good portion of the last mile is a climb.

When I got to parking lot, I slowed down.  The person behind me thanked me for allowing them to ride behind me.  It was a petit SYT all in spandex on a fancy racing cycle.  I’m sure that for her riding behind me was like trailing a rolling barn.  Since she turned into the parking lot, I assumed this was the end of what was probably a long ride, so she did not mind coasting behind me for a couple miles.

I know I am cycling stronger than I did at the start of the spring, but leave me to me fantasy.

I looked at the odometer on my bicycle today, and somewhere back I had gone over a 1000 miles this cycling season. Not bad for an old fat man.

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Link to interesting article on Global Warming

You’ll need Adobe Reader for this, a free download

Here is the link to the article:  Article no longer on web site

Below is an excerpt from that article:

Usufruct is as American as the Declaration of Independence, implicit in the Preamble “to ourselves and our Posterity”. It is explicitly discussed in a famous letter of 6 September

Continue reading “Link to interesting article on Global Warming”

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Would Buddha Drive a Porsche?

I recently bought a little sports car for all the materialistic, mid-life crisis reasons guys my age buy little sports cars.   I used the typical rationalizations to justify my purchase.   It gets better gas mileage;  it has less impact on the environment, etc.  

I knew it would be fun to drive, but what I have discovered that it is very much a “now” experience.   When I’m driving this car, shifting through 6 gears, I am in the moment, and I stay in the moment.   It does not seem to matter if I am on the interstate, a back road, or a city street.   I look forward to driving to work each morning.

An old Buddhist saying is, “When you are chopping wood, chop wood.”   When I am driving this car, I am driving this car.   All of which made me wonder, “Would Buddha  drive a Porsche?”

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Chinese factory suicide a good thing?

I’m still trying to get my mind around this.   Mattel has had to recall a million or so toys because of lead paint.   I heard on the radio that the plant manager from the Chinese factory responsible for putting the lead paint on the toys committed suicide.

A gentleman in the business segment of the morning NPR news show was commenting on the suicide story.   He said it was fairly common in Japan and Korea for business executives to commit suicide, but not very common in China.   He felt that this was possibly a good thing.   It might mean the Chinese were caring more about the quality and the safety of their products, and possibly a little less about the bottom line  at the expense of everything else.

This is about the time my head starting spinning, or maybe that was from getting out of bed too fast.  Continue reading “Chinese factory suicide a good thing?”

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I can die a happy man

I birdied 18 at Normandie Golf Course in St. Louis.  It is a 243 yard par 3 from the blues.  The hard part for me is that it is next to a busy street on the the left.  That street is not protected from the golf course, and I so want to hit snap hooks on that hole for some strange reason.

Today the blues tees were back a bit, making it around 250 yards. I put a driver to within 7 or 8 feet and made the putt.  Rest of the round sucked, but that made up for it.