Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Obama, The Messiah, I don’t think so

I’ve never voted for a Republican, and I am having a hard time getting excited about Obama.  The media is fueling some of that lack of excitement.  They love to show Obama with some sort of halo around his head.  I do not believe him to be the Messiah or a saint.

I also got so tired of the depiction of Hillary as a bumpkin from Arkansas.  She is not a bumpkin nor is she from Arkansas.  If they were not doing that, they were painting her as a shrewish old woman.

Obviously, he has managed to woo the media and Clinton has managed to alienate them.  Or maybe it is as Paul Krugman suggests, racism is declining, but not misogyny.

I really wonder if having news 24×7 on multiple medias is really doing us a service.   Especially when they use such broad strokes.

Number 5 has been used in a multitude of news stories.

And now Michelle…

 

And the broad strokes to paint the Clintons as hillbillies. Well I know hillbillies and they are not hillbillies…to paraphrase someone.

Click on cartoon to see larger image 

Credit: Pat Oliphant

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Are you really going to walk all 18 holes, mister?

A regular golf course is generally 6000 to 6500 yards long.  That is 3.4 to 3.7 miles.  If you are like me when you play golf, it is never a straight line.  I am guessing that in a round of golf I probably walk 4 to 4 ½ miles.  A reasonably healthy individual should be able to do that in an hour of brisk walking.

A round of golf usually takes approximately 4 hours.  Theoretically you are walking at the blistering pace of 1 mile per hour.  In reality there is a fair amount of standing around, and then brisk walking to your ball.  I carry my bag, throw in some elevation changes, and you have a reasonable amount of exercise.  The figures I have seen say about 7 calories per minute playing golf if you are walking and carrying your bag.  That means you are burning up around 1700 calories as long as you stay away from the beer concession.

This is not the first time I’ve been asked, “Are you really going to walk all 18 holes?”  This time it was by 4 young men in their late teens or very early 20s.  These young men all looked in good health, and were not carrying the excess weight of many of their peers.  We conversed a little, and they just could not imagine walking the course.

I walk because a) I enjoy the game more when I am walking.  Buzzing around in a cart brings in a rushed dimension to the game I do not like.  b) I love the exercise.  I am in reasonable shape compared to many of my peers.  Walking the golf course is one the things that helps maintain my fitness.  c)  I’m cheap and I like to play a lot of golf.  Paying for a cart adds $10 to $15 to the price of a round of golf.

I knew one young man whose reason for not walking was he did not want anyone to think he could not afford a cart!!!  What a load of baloney.

Some golf courses will not let you play during certain hours unless you rent a cart.  I do know some walkers slow things down a little.  I’m not so sure that is a bad thing.  I’ve golfed with far too many folks early in day that acted like playing 18 holes was just another chore to finish.  That strikes me a missing one of the key joys of golf.

I have frequently played with folks in carts while I walked.  Unless they are extremely good golfers with the ball in the fairway all the time I keep up with them.  Frequently I am waiting on them.

I will acknowledge that for many folks if they did not have a cart there would be no place to carry the cooler of beer.  Golf in this case just becomes an activity to do while drinking.  Oh well.

I just see so many folks that would benefit from the mild exercise golfing provides, yet they feel they must ride or they cannot play.  Given the current obesity epidemic how wonderful it would be if a few of these folks jumped off their carts and walked.

Or at least they could at least quit acting like I was nuts for doing so.

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13…13…13…

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, ’13….13….13.’  The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick

Then they all started shouting ’14…14…14′

Jerks…

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The 10 Commandments

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’  ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’  and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians… It creates a hostile work environment.

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Instructions for Life – The Dali Lama

A good friend passed these on to me… Thanks Robin

  1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  3. Follow the three R’s:
    • Respect for self
    • Respect for others and
    • Responsibility for all your actions.
  4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  8. Spend some time alone every day.
  9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
  12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  13. In disagreements with loved ones deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
  15. Be gentle with the earth.
  16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
  18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
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USOC to ship 25,000 pounds of food to China

Next time you go to a US supermarket and pick up a food package with a produced in China label give this some consideration.  This is from an article by Suzie Richards in The Retriever Weekly.

Recent reports have revealed that the United States Olympic Committee has been busy planning the team’s preparations for the summer games. The committee has announced that Team USA will not be eating the local Chinese food at this summers’ games, but instead 25,000 pounds of meat and other food will be shipped from America to the training camp at Beijing Normal University.

The decision comes in response to a food safety check carried out on Chinese foods. Dangerously high level of steroids were found in chickens and other food products. Continue reading “USOC to ship 25,000 pounds of food to China”

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Talking Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:  “Talking Dog for Sale”.

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.  “You talk?” he asks.

Yep,” the Lab replies. Continue reading “Talking Dog”

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An immigrant’s view on immigration

An Indian co-worker of mine who shall remain anonymous sent me the following which he titled a “rant”.  Whether you agree or not it makes interesting reading. 

An American colleague at work was telling me the other day that it would probably take ages for me to get a green card – if I do get it.  Coz there are so many Indians, Chinese, and other Asians in the queue. That it is causing a “jam” at the immigration department. He is right – of course. And I understand the problem.

And it bothers me a lot. Continue reading “An immigrant’s view on immigration”