Just cuz I needed a laugh… and this made me smile. It is a little racy, but only a little. Without further ado, my new favorite Country song – Show Them to Me
New Balance, The New “IN” Sneaker
Several months ago a group of us old fogeys went to a local comedy club here in St. Louis. The reason we went was that the niece of one of the gentlemen in the group was the opening act. She was reasonably funny with many of her comedic stories stemming from the 13 years she spent teaching on the South Side of Chicago.
The headliner was a black man (for the sake of me I cannot remember his name) married to a red headed white woman. They have a couple of biracial children. I mention that as a good part of his act was edgy racial humor centered on his personal life situation. At some point, not sure how he segued to the subject, he got onto old white folks and Continue reading “New Balance, The New “IN” Sneaker”
Celebrating 60 Years of Matrimony
Okay, this is an observation that Señora has grown quite tired of, but I still find immensely entertaining…at least until I get her chancla upside my head.
It works like this. Señora was married 28 years her first go around. I was technically married 22 years, but the number of years living together were somewhat less than that figure. However, the paperwork says 22. Nuff said.
If you add those two numbers, 28 and 22, you arrive at 50 years of matrimony between the two of us.
Señora and I have been a couple for 15 years, but married only the last 10 years of that period. So much like an IRS tax form, take the number Continue reading “Celebrating 60 Years of Matrimony”
Priest for Dinner
Our friends, Harry and Susie, were in town for some fun with Susie’s family that lives here, her sister who came in from West Virginia, Susie’s niece’s family, and one of Harry and Susie’s daughter and her family who also came down from Chicago. Susie and Harry spent Sunday night with us.
We are sitting on the patio Monday morning, drinking coffee, listening to the birds, watching the chipmunks and squirrels, enjoying the cool, breezy morning, and chatting. Harry was relating how his father had been very active in the church and the Catholic parish where they lived in Chicago. Susie added that Harry’s family frequently had priests for dinner.
So I asked, “Are they better rare or well done?” I suppose I could have asked, “grilled, blackened or fried?”
Sometimes I just crack myself up, nobody else, but I find me to be very entertaining at times.
And so it goes.
Another Opening Sentence
Another opening sentence for a larger story or possibly a story in itself.
Rising from the bed, stretching, he began wading through the archipelago of scattered, hastily discarded clothing on his way to the bathroom, glancing back towards the bed before he closed the door, a wry smile crossed his face as he remembered the activities of the previous night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know… from time to time these musings pop into the labyrinth that passes for my mind. I need to do something with them, so here it sets. Don’t worry, I’ve become very adept at dodging rotten tomatoes, thank you very much.
“Blissful smile” was my first choice, but I went with”wry smile” as it puts a completely different spin on the sentence, leaving questions unanswered.
For another article along this same vein: 2 One sentence short stories
And so it goes.
Overheard…
“Your mama wears army boots!”
“So what… your daddies drink Bud Light.”
So it went in the cultural wars of 2023 before Skynet sent a cyborg back in time to quell the quibbling amongst the devolving, ironically named Homo sapiens.
It’s Tough Being an Old Man
It’s tough being an old man. I was sitting in Urgent Care waiting to be seen. You know I was not feeling well as I would just about as soon be sitting in a prison cell with Bubba and Roscoe eyeing me lustfully than go to the doctor, any doctor.
My son and his girlfriend were here with their pandilla de muchachos over Memorial Day weekend. I became very ill the Wednesday Continue reading “It’s Tough Being an Old Man”
Señora – Breakfast in Bed
Señora and I were driving back from Chicago. We were doing something we do not normally do. We were listening to a rock station with a couple DJs who were under the overwhelming delusion that they were funny.
I do not remember what the exact context was, but they were talking about Mother’s Day, which is tomorrow – don’t you forget your mama y’all. They were going on with something about breakfast in bed for the family matriarch.
Señora remarked, “I don’t know about breakfast in bed, but I would take lunch in bed!”
Reckon I have my Sunday lined out for me.
And so it goes.
My 2023 Resolution
My 2023 resolution: I vow that I am going to be unstable unstoppable this year.
Drunk Santa?
Probably no one but me has made this connection…. Careful, despite my firewall, virus protection program and aluminum foil hat I can still hear you whispering over my wireless connection, “Yes, it is just you.”
They claim as you get older the connection between your brain’s synapses get a little, we are going to go with freer. The neural network becomes Continue reading “Drunk Santa?”