Category: Humor

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A Test for Our Elected Officials: Two Beers and a Puppy

Okay I am a Johnny-come-lately to the “Two beers and a Puppy” test.  I became aware of it when a friend of ours sent a text to Señora and I saying that we both were a Yes and a Yes. Undoubtedly, she was thinking of charismatic Señora more than Señora’s curmudgeonly Plus One.

In an article about the test Ross McCammon starts out by saying,“’Two Beers and a Puppy’ is a test that I developed while working at Esquire.” Another article whose author I could not ascertain went on to say the story being worked on was about the American “son of a bitch”. Whether it has any tie in to the “Two Beers and a Puppy” test I do not know, but a search on American“son of a bitch” and Esquire came up with an article from Roy Blount Jr. that was an interesting read: Let Us Now Praise The Son of a Bitch

The Test

In order to find out how you actually feel about Continue reading “A Test for Our Elected Officials: Two Beers and a Puppy”

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Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question  

Heaven forbid I should ever be single again.  I sincerely hope with all my being that Señora outlives me, if for no other reason than she is much more enchanted with this existence than I am.  If she did not, I am not sure I would put myself back out there in the dating pool, especially at my decrepit age.  The thought reminds me of something my mother once said after my father had passed away.  Someone asked her if she was going to remarry.

“Oh no,” she replied, “it is one thing to grow old with a man; it would be quite another thing to marry an old man.”

I Learned About Red Flags

I once broke up with a very beautiful woman and judging from our time together, a very sweet lady.  At he beginning of our relationship she told me her goal Continue reading “Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question  “

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Nailed It

This pretty much nailed how I am feeling about the state of my once beloved country in general, and especially, this election year of 2024.

Somebody please beam me up.

And so it goes.

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Let’s Rumble…

In my painful attempts at writing, in my paltry efforts to describe Señora, I frequently refer back to her relationship with her mother. What her mother wanted was a petite, sylphlike, polished Jewish American Princess, JAP as they are commonly referred to. What the stork brought was from the Russian peasant side of the family, very much an Earth Mother, very much not a JAP, very much to the chagrin of both parties.

Señora has a very good friend that she has known since they were 16. Señora‘s friend would have checked off all the items on Señora’s mother’s menu of a perfect JAP daughter.   I cannot imagine finding her in the middle of an Ozark stream building cairns like an Earth Mother of my acquaintance. Because they occupy opposite ends of the Jewish American Princess spectrum, I tend to think of them as a case of opposites attracting.

Let’s Rumble…

I bring her up as she is Continue reading “Let’s Rumble…”

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Think I Like Word Play?

Señora was ever so kind as to gift me a daily calendar of Dad Jokes. As one of my quotidian habits I have been sharing the “humor” with my mishpocha in my native state of Oklahoma…much to their chagrin.

Today’s joke:

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

Of course I had to riff on that:

I can already hear the tsunami of groans coming from Oklahoma… like a wrinkled gnome gnawing and gnashing on a bone, kneeling on one knee in front of the knight and knave, hoping to wrangle or to wriggle or to wrestle his way out of their  wrath. 

“What a psychedelic experience I am having,” said the psychopath to his psychologist.

“Oh don’t get your knickers in a knot, they already have too many wrinkles, ” answered the pshrink.  

Okay the last one was made up, but some folks refer to head shrinkers as p-shrinks.

Like any good comedian (yes, a bit of hubris), I had to insert a callback to a previous joke:

I could go on, if I had more thyme or was less sage. 

And so it sometimes go.

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Back in the Day

My brother and I going out to play… back in the day!

And so it went…

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A Chalky Merry Christmas

Our neighborhood is a web of cul-de-sac streets with only one entry into it.  Our particular street has one street coming off of it, is about two blocks long and ends in a cul-de-sac. There are five or six houses around this cul-de-sac that are infested with a swarm of rug rats.  Most of them are elementary school age, a few younger, with a sprinkling of teenagers.  What is cool is that these kids tend to play in the street like we did back in the “good old days.” They are riding bikes, scooters, various new fangled riding contraptions that I am clueless as to their names.  Street hockey and soccer are big in this neighborhood. They seem to stay very busy entertaining themselves and each other, all the while running into and out of each other’s houses.

I was walking Princess Lily aka Tater Tot aka The Wee Dog Christmas Eve evening, and she chose Continue reading “A Chalky Merry Christmas”

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Hispanic Christmas Tradition – Caganers

I was working online with one of my Spanish teachers, a Venezuelan woman who has fled her country with her husband to Buenos Aires.  We were reviewing and discussing an article that listed various Christmas traditions from around the Hispanic world.

There is a tradition from the Catalonia region of Spain that we glossed over as neither of us really wanted to discuss it.  The tradition struck both of us as a little gross.  The traditional there is to place a defecating – pooping if you will – figurine discreetly?? in one corner of the Christmas Nativity scene that folks commonly put out this time of year.  Typically, this figurine has always been of a peasant in the traditional dress of the region.  And like most of these things it is supposed to bring good luck.

It has since morphed so frequently the figurines are of famous people from around the globe.  This has grown into a big international souvenir business, with the majority of the online sales going to the United States.

Fast Forward

Talking about synchronicity… Looking at the news online this morning there was an article from The Guardian: Christmas caganer figurines of Catalonia Just a warning if your are sensitive to such things, there is a bit of a yuk factor associated with the pictures in the article, but on the whole it was an interesting read, at least for me as I had touched on the subject just a couple days before. It was also amusing to see which public figures they chose to depict.

If you are curious, look up the Spanish verb cagar (the noun caganer is derived from the verb) in an online translator.  When I was young it was a word that was not used in polite company.

Oh we humans… I wonder how far we really are from the bonobos.

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Spanish Tutor Cracked Me Up

You are going to need just a wee bit of background to appreciate this… or not.

There is a stereotype involving Latino mothers – especially Mexican mothers – involving their ability to do accurate long distance child correction using a well launched chancla, chancla being the Spanish word for flip-flop. Practically every Latino I have spoken to more than casually has a chancla story. If you doubt the stereotype, just type chancla into the YouTube search box and you will have a wide selection to choose from.  One of my favorites can be found at this link: Hispanic moms don’t miss with that chancla or the video at the bottom of this post.

I’ve been working with a Mexican young man, Saúl, via Skype for Continue reading “Spanish Tutor Cracked Me Up”

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The Most Accurate STL Anthem Ever?

Song just about says it all, no need for comments from yours truly.

I came across it in an article in the alternative newspaper, Riverfront Times: ‘How Does St. Louis Do It’ Is the Most Accurate STL Anthem Ever