Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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The House of the Spirits: A Novel by Isabel Allende

Peru has been in the news frequently as of late.  They are on their fifth or sixth president in about as many years.  There are riots in the street in which several folks have died.  The left wing president who attempted to take “executive” control of the country was impeached and has been sentenced to 18 months in jail.  For the first time in its history, Peru has a woman President, but it would surprise me if she stayed in office long. All of which started me thinking about this novel again, which will be clearer as to why if you are brave enough to trudge on.

I actually finished this novel three or four months ago in the Spanish language edition, La casa de los espíritus.  It took me a bit to get through it.  First it is 552 pages.  Secondly when I read a Spanish novel Continue reading “The House of the Spirits: A Novel by Isabel Allende”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,041

yeah I know you did not ask!

I was messing around on a website and the website wanted me to elected a personal pronoun to continue.

Apparently, “No f**** way!”, is not an acceptable response.

I see myself as more than a little liberal. There is no need to be jamming folks up in boxes of acceptability. If it makes you happy, be happy.  I might not want to hang with you, but hey you might not want to hang with me.  We’ll just move on and do our own thing. Life and the two of us will be just fine.

However, this whole woke culture, this whole overly political correct police, is about to turn me into a fanatical reactionary, the bunch of namby pambies.

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Kudos to Missouri American Water

Friday evening along about 1900 hours a neighbor called my wife reporting that we had a new water fountain in our front yard, but in all likelihood it was not going to make her happy. Sure enough she was right on both accounts.  About six or seven feet in from the sidewalk towards our house was an impressive gusher of water. From the volume and force I was reasonably sure it was a water main break of the line that transverses across our front yard, but I had a vague fear it was not, that it might be our service line.  I began to have visions of dollar bills flowing out of our bank account quicker than from the hands of a drunken sailor on his first shore leave in six months.

If I had thought a minute longer I would called the water company, but my first impulse was to call Continue reading “Kudos to Missouri American Water”

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Quote of the Day – Kurt Vonnegut

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.” ~~ Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

 

 

To see more Quotes for Day, visit this link: Quotes for the Day

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,063

yeah I know you did not ask!

Florida famously is the warm, tacky place old folks retire to to await their pie in the sky.  They are down there in gator-land, realizing that their golden years are more fool’s gold than Inca ingots.  Additionally, their kids seldom come to visit, and when they do it is a fly-by drop in on the way to Disney World.

Wanting to get even for these indignities, they have started sending to the rest of country the most gawd awful politicians imaginable: Ron DeSantis, Rick Scott, Marc Rubio, Matt Gaetz, ad nauseam… literally

Go visit the old folks in Florida.  Maybe next  time they go to the polls they will not be quite so vengeful.

Just saying.

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Drunk Santa?

Probably no one but me has made this connection…. Careful, despite my firewall, virus protection program and aluminum foil hat I can still hear you whispering over my wireless connection, “Yes, it is just you.”

They claim as you get older the connection between your brain’s synapses get a little, we are going to go with freer.  The neural network becomes Continue reading “Drunk Santa?”

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Word of the Day –  Pulchritudinously

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Worst Opening Sentence – 2022

“Who’s on First?”  was perhaps the most famous sketch of Abbott & Costello. It is essentially seven or eight minutes of word play that cracks me up every time I come across it on da’ net.  It is the continuation of themes common in the Burlesque era of entertainment, which is where the act of Abbott & Costello got its start.

Mark Twain  rose to fame with stories such as The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County which was required reading when I was in school during the Paleolithic period. The gist of the story is that a man feeds buckshot to a frog in order to win a bar bet. Want to know more? Read the story.

I saw myself following Continue reading “Worst Opening Sentence – 2022”

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My New Plan to Make My Fortune

Step 1:  Recruit a curvaceous Sweet Young Thing, henceforth  known as curvaceous SYT.

Step 2: Dress up my newly recruited curvaceous SYT in a sexy, see-through, next-to-nothing nightgown that does nothing but accentuate her God given charms.

Step 3:  Hide her behind the Christmas tree.

Step 4: When Santa comes down the chimney she will step from behind the Christmas tree giving Santa her best come hither smile, all the while shaking her money makers.  This causes all the blood in Santa’s head to rush precipitously to his candy cane…stripped or otherwise. Santa faints from lack of oxygen in his brain.

Step 5: While the curvaceous SYT is ascertaining whether Santa needs CPR… or other services, I rapidly scale a previously situated ladder.  Jumping in the sled, grabbing the reins, I pilot Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet,  Cupid, Dunder, Blixem and Rudolph to a secret location strong enough to retain nine angry reindeer. I hear Rudolph has such a mouth…

Step 6:  Fence the nine reindeer.  I can only imagine what a team of freaking, flying reindeer that can fly around the world in one night must be worth. I am sure Rudolph with that nose so bright will bring twice what the others fetch.  And that endless bag of toys, there is no putting a price on such a thing.

Step 7: Hire Elon Musk to clean my 42 bathrooms.

And so it ho, ho, ho goes.

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Do you know what…

Occasionally Señora and I will find ourselves alone, walking Princess Lily, riding in the car together, sitting around the firepit savoring a fine bottle  of 2020 Chambourcin from Stricker Weinkellers, obviously a wonderful time to have a deep, intimate or intellectual conversation about any number of topics. Señora has a propensity to start off these opportunities for erudite palaver with the phrase, “You know what…”.

Last time this happened I replied, “Which one, I know both the Watt boys.  I went to school with both of them.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I went to school with both the Watt boys, James and William.  Well William they generally call Bubba, but Continue reading “Do you know what…”