Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,255

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I wonder if I am the only one to whom the Terminator movies are looking more and more prescient?

I always have just thought of them a sub-genre of science-fiction that loves dystopian stories.  But it is increasing looking like we have the proverbial striped feline by the tail. IMHO, Science and Technology need to be asking should I rather than can I,  but that is an ages old question.  Just ask Dr. Frankenstein.

Random aside:  Our home Wi-Fi network is named SkyeNet.  There two reasons for this.  The first is obvious.  A reference back to the nefarious SkyNet of the Terminator movies. Since neighbors can see the name of Wi-Fi connections close to them, I wonder if it has any of them stuffing  a doomsday pack.

The second is an inside reference.  When Señora divorced she wanted her last name changed back to her maiden name and for various reasons her middle name changed to Skye. Her lawyer was less than competent, and besides costing her a dump truck load of money to her ex, he failed to change her middle name.  He did remember to get her last name changed. She is using Skye anyway except when legality necessitates otherwise.

And so it goes.

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Word of the Day – Puerile

  • Adjective: Puerile
    1. behaving in a silly way, not like an adult
  • Synonyms:
    1. childish
    2. immature
    3. juvenile
    4. infantile
    5. childlike
    6. unsophisticated
    7. simplistic
    8. naïve
  • Usage:
    1. “The driver of the other car was behaving in a very puerile manner with that particular gesture.”  Okay, not an exact quote, but close.
  • Encountered:
    1.  While watching a Wondrium (Great Courses) offering: Think like a Stoic: Ancient Wisdom for Today’s World
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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5784.038

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I am looking at Señora with great affection and tenderness in my heart, and I say to her, “You are so beautiful.”

To which she replies, “You need to put your glasses on.”

“I have them on.”

“Then you need to clean them, Caballero.”

“You know I clean my glasses several times a day.”

She won’t let it go and asks me, “when was the last time you saw the ophthalmologist?”

“My prescription is recent,” I reminded her.

“Well it is dark in here,” she went on.

“No, it is not, it is mid morning and sunny outside.”

“Obviously,” she remarked, still not letting it go, “you’ve been drinking.”

“Whenever have you known me to drink in the morning.”

“Well something is off kilter.”

Then I uttered the words, “You are right! Here is a paper bag, I think you know what to do with it.”

Pray for me, the doctors tell me I will not be in here too long…

And so it goes.

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I Am So Proud To Live In Missouri – Not

The following article from the alternative newspaper, Riverfront Times, popped up in my Google news feed: Missouri Ranks Dead Last in National Survey of LGBTQ+ Equality

I Misunderstood Missouri

I moved to St. Louis after living and working in Mississippi for over three years. While I left some good friends behind I was more than glad to get away from the religious conservatism that dominates politics down there.  My first impression of Missouri was of St. Louis which left me with a hopeful feeling. Then I discovered the rest of Missouri.   While St. Louis is more of a purple with bluish hues, the politics of the rest of the state is a Trumpian dystopia concerned with protecting so called guns rights and waging cultural battles against basic individual rights and freedoms, especially against women and folks with alternate lifestyles. It is deeply red, and, for me, very discouraging to the point of being depressing. Of course, I am an Okie by birth and with Oklahoma’s super hard turn to the far right, I find my native state even more depressing.

Why Would You Care

I really do not care what consenting Continue reading “I Am So Proud To Live In Missouri – Not”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,301

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Geriatrics: That branch of medical science whose conceit is that they can manage the ongoing train wreck that is old age, knowing all along the inevitable conclusion.

What was it the first caveman achieving elder status said, “This getting old ain’t for sissies.”

Just saying.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #432

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I know how someone can make a fortune.

The Wee Dog has a semi-truck load full of dog toys.  Well, I should not exaggerate, they would only fill up a bobtail truck.  And Señora keeps buying more for her.

Thing is that after Princess Lily has had the toy for 10 minutes the squeaker stops working. There is a mountain of now squeak-less canine playthings in the corner of our family room.

I betcha… that if you could come up with a squeaker to put inside these pet baubles that would work for more than a few minutes you could corner the market.  That or a nation of pet owners would be at your door asking WTF have you done.

Just saying.

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Señora, The Sailor

While Señora is not opposed to using a few wirty dords, it is not her usual modus operandi.  Except…

I’ve told the story before of how much she cussed during a long dinner on our first date. So much so that I thought she must be retired Navy. She confessed afterwards that she was really nervous as I was so hot and studly.  Well the last part was pure literary license, but she does say she was really nervous.  I believe her, but I am not sure why anyone would find me nervous making.

Another time she  lets the choice words flow is when it is just the two of us playing Scrabble.  When someone else is playing with us she does not do it. But during a couple’s game she will berate me and cuss at me like I was a red headed step child. Heaven forbid I should make use of a triple word square.

The final situation, which seems to be getting progressively worse, is whenever the Tangerine Jesus aka tRump appears on the television or even his voice on the radio.  This morning was especially bad.  The barrage of expletive deletives and hand gestures were so numerous and forceful that they literally knocked me to the ground. I may need to talk to her Internist to get through this election cycle since I cannot get her to use my strategy, turning off the TV or changing the channel.

And so it goes.

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Quote of the Day – Jack Handey… for Señora**

“As we were driving, we saw a sign that said, ‘Watch for Rocks.’  Martha said it should read ‘Watch for Pretty Rocks.’  I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke – just to get out of writing a simple letter!  And I thought I was lazy!” ~~Jack Handey

** Señora has an absolute obsession with rocks

++ One of my ex-brother-in-laws had a game he played when his children were very young and just learning to read.  He had them convinced that the signs that read “Watch for Falling Rocks” was about a crazed Native American that had escaped a mental institution… him and his half brother Leaping Deer.

To see more Quotes for Day, visit this link: Quotes for the Day

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Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question  

Heaven forbid I should ever be single again.  I sincerely hope with all my being that Señora outlives me, if for no other reason than she is much more enchanted with this existence than I am.  If she did not, I am not sure I would put myself back out there in the dating pool, especially at my decrepit age.  The thought reminds me of something my mother once said after my father had passed away.  Someone asked her if she was going to remarry.

“Oh no,” she replied, “it is one thing to grow old with a man; it would be quite another thing to marry an old man.”

I Learned About Red Flags

I once broke up with a very beautiful woman and judging from our time together, a very sweet lady.  At he beginning of our relationship she told me her goal Continue reading “Dogs and Cats – A Deep Philosophical Question  “