A Test for Our Elected Officials: Two Beers and a Puppy

Okay I am a Johnny-come-lately to the “Two beers and a Puppy” test.  I became aware of it when a friend of ours sent a text to Señora and I saying that we both were a Yes and a Yes. Undoubtedly, she was thinking of charismatic Señora more than Señora’s curmudgeonly Plus One.

In an article about the test Ross McCammon starts out by saying,“’Two Beers and a Puppy’ is a test that I developed while working at Esquire.” Another article whose author I could not ascertain went on to say the story being worked on was about the American “son of a bitch”. Whether it has any tie in to the “Two Beers and a Puppy” test I do not know, but a search on American“son of a bitch” and Esquire came up with an article from Roy Blount Jr. that was an interesting read: Let Us Now Praise The Son of a Bitch

The Test

In order to find out how you actually feel about someone, ask yourself:

Would you have two beers with this person?

Would you allow this person to look after your puppy over a weekend?

There are four possible combinations of answers to the two questions:

1. 1. No and No – These people are to be avoided at all costs.
   2. Yes and No – These people are to be cautiously trusted.
   3. No and Yes – These people are no fun but they make the world a better place — for puppies, especially.
   4. Yes and Yes – These people are wonderful people and your life and work are better for having them in your life. Seek them out. Collaborate with them. Enjoy their company.

Boolean Algebra indeed!

Personal Ramblings

Now there are lots of good reasons to not drink, medical, addictive personality, or even just personal preference as you do not like the effect, taste, etc.  I will have to admit that when you get past those reasons, I am a bit bothered by folks who will not have at least an occasional drink. I have found that many teetotalers do so for religious or prudish reasons. I find great joy in an exceptional bottle of wine, or a well crafted beer.  Don’t even get me started on what I call the nectar of the gods, a good Irish or Scotch whiskey.

The operative word in the beer part of the test is two. This reminds me of a saying I learned from my former father-in-law, “One thing I cannot stand is a drunk man when I am sober and a sober man when I am drunk.”  This was an interesting thing for him to say as he almost never drank, and I doubt very seriously that I had been drinking when he laid this gem on me.  I do not find being around drunks particularly entertaining.  Knowing when and how to stop after a few drinks is the key. For the sake of this test, I would tend to lump those folks who drink excessively in with those folks who never drink.

My feelings about people who do not like dogs are very similar to my feelings about people who will not take an occasional drink.  Dogs are a blessing.  Cats, well cats are another story…definitely an acquired taste. While I would prefer to be dog-less, it is more from not wanting the responsibility of caring for one.  Once they are here, it is hard for me not to love them.  It is amazing how The Wee Dog aka Prancess Lily has wormed her way into my heart. I once heard someone described their deceased pet as the dog of a lifetime. I feel that way about Lily, our scruffy little neurotic rescue dog. There will not be another one like her in my lifetime.

As Applied to Politicians

Thinking about this test and the current dystopian political situation, perhaps this is a test that we should be applying to our elected officials.  We definitely need to be electing more “Yes and Yes” individuals. I would even put a little more weight on the loving puppies’ part of the test.  Thus I would go with a “No and Yes” person before a “Yes and No” person.

I have read that DJT does not drink. This is in all likelihood a good thing.  Alcohol on top of his psychopathy would take him to a whole new level of insanity.  I cannot imagine any self-respecting canine doing anything but biting El pendejo… repeatedly. Barring that, they would tuck tail and run, thus proving their sanity and that they are a better judges of character than 73 million of my fellow citizens.  Obviously this puts him firmly in the “No and No” category, someone to be avoided at all costs.

So now you have it, a brand new tool for your social and political toolboxes.

I am not sure what book it is from, but here is a screenshot of the article as sent to me:

Lagniappe

And just for the record if you read the Roy Blount Jr. article, DJT does not fit the son of a bitch category…thus El pendejo.

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