“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”
I was in the kitchen when Señora came downstairs and found me, saying, “The bathroom scale is making some funny numbers.”
“Funny how?” I quizzed.
“I just need to show you,” she replied.
Following her up the stairs toward the master bathroom it dawned on me what most likely was going on.
The day before, after being apprised of the situation, I had unplugged the sink on her side of the double vanity. It was so clogged that I had to pull everything out from under the sink and take the p-trap apart. Yum, yum… one of my favorite household chores, picking clumped hair out of drains. Well, after unclogging the drain, one thing led to another and I ended up cleaning the whole bathroom. Yeah, OCD is going to kill me one of these days. Part of the cleaning process was picking up our digital bathroom scale which has a glass platform and giving it a good Windexing.
Having now arrived at the bathroom she stepped on the scale. Just as an aside, I had known Señora for around eight years before I knew her weight. And then it was only by accident as I had gone to a doctor’s appointment with her. So, there was progress that she unhesitatingly stepped on the scale, that and the confidence she gained from losing the 40 pounds or so a few years back.
The scale read 54.
I looked at it and said, “I don’t know what your problem is. Just multiply the 54 by 2.2 if you want your weight in pounds. ”
Apparently, from the look that was shot my way, that was not the correct response.
Asking her to step off the scale I picked it up and switched it from kilograms back to pounds.
After placing it back on the floor I said, “now try it. I just thought you would like the lower numbers.”
Truth was I had accidentally switched the scale to kilograms when I was cleaning it.
And so it goes.
