Step 1: Recruit a curvaceous Sweet Young Thing, henceforth known as curvaceous SYT.
Step 2: Dress up my newly recruited curvaceous SYT in a sexy, see-through, next-to-nothing nightgown that does nothing but accentuate her God given charms.
Step 3: Hide her behind the Christmas tree.
Step 4: When Santa comes down the chimney she will step from behind the Christmas tree giving Santa her best come hither smile, all the while shaking her money makers. This causes all the blood in Santa’s head to rush precipitously to his candy cane…stripped or otherwise. Santa faints from lack of oxygen in his brain.
Step 5: While the curvaceous SYT is ascertaining whether Santa needs CPR… or other services, I rapidly scale a previously situated ladder. Jumping in the sled, grabbing the reins, I pilot Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder, Blixem and Rudolph to a secret location strong enough to retain nine angry reindeer. I hear Rudolph has such a mouth…
Step 6: Fence the nine reindeer. I can only imagine what a team of freaking, flying reindeer that can fly around the world in one night must be worth. I am sure Rudolph with that nose so bright will bring twice what the others fetch. And that endless bag of toys, there is no putting a price on such a thing.
Step 7: Hire Elon Musk to clean my 42 bathrooms.
And so it ho, ho, ho goes.