yeah I know you did not ask!
You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all my random thoughts.
Indubitably, you are aware of the old saw, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Contemplating the recent drama in my abode, Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5784.304, I decided that we have had this prosaism wrong all these long centuries. I am thinking a more accurate platitude might have been, “An onion a day keeps the doctor away.”
Bear with me, here is my reasoning. If you were to eat an onion everyday, then the likelihood of the majority of folks being close to you diminishes rapidly. You would thus keep the opportunity for them to transmit any number of human illnesses to you at a very low percentage. Thusly preserving yourself in a healthy state. Ergo, the doctor would be a stranger. Without a doubt, a proof my logic professor would be proud of.
Just to be on the safe side, if you were to throw a couple cloves of garlic into the mix, then vampires would be out of the picture, while also eliminating those final few hardy souls not put off by your force field of onion infused belches.
Just saying.
