Tag: life

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The Story of Mary MacLane by Mary MacLane

The Story of Mary MacLane by Mary MacLaneMaryMacLane

This is a memoir that was very popular in its time.  It was “lost”, and then rediscovered.   It is written by a 19 year old woman who lived in Butte, Montana in 1901.  Ms. MacLane was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Butte, Montana of 1901 was a mining time, and for many reasons Ms. MacLane did not feel like she fit into it.  For the times she had more than the usual education for a man and certainly for a woman.  She tells us she is a genius, and who am I to argue with her.  Later in life she became openly bisexual. The memoir openly speaks of her love for a woman that is beyond platonic.  I cannot imagine trying to come to terms with those stirrings in that place at that time.  It had to be difficult.   The following passage is but one of many that speaks of this.

“I feel in the anemone lady a strange attraction of sex. There is in me a masculine element that, when I am thinking of her, arises and overshadows all the others.

“Why am I not a man,” I say to the sand and barrenness with a certain strained, tense passion, “that I might give this wonderful, dear, delicious woman an absolutely perfect love!”

And this is my predominating feeling for her.

So, then, it is not the woman-love, but the man-love, set in the mysterious sensibilities of my woman-nature. It brings me pain and pleasure mingled in that odd, odd fashion.

Do you think a man is the only creature with whom one may fall in love?” Continue reading “The Story of Mary MacLane by Mary MacLane”

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Oscar Wilde – His Life and Confessions by Frank Harris

Oscar_Wilde_His_Life_and_Confessions_1004Oscar Wilde is best known for his quips, quotes and aphorisms, at least to me.  The Importance of Being Ernest gave to me my first real appreciation of plays.  It is a light, comic romp full of misdirection and subtle and not so subtle puns.  For various reasons I have seen the play three times over the years.  The Picture of Dorian Gray is a classic of this epoch.  The novel also in many ways led to his downfall.  While he wrote the book before his fall from grace I found The Picture of Dorian Gray metaphorically autobiographical of his entire life.  In the end Oscar Wilde ended up destroying himself.  The book raised the rancor of  puritanical 1890 England due to its homoerotic theme, and allusions of an underworld of what was then considered deviant behavior.

I knew Oscar was gay(in the modern sense of the word) and had gone to jail for two years for this “crime”.  However, I had always pictured him as this bon vivant, a social gadfly.  The Oscar I discovered in this book Continue reading “Oscar Wilde – His Life and Confessions by Frank Harris”

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An Interesting side of Mark Twain: 1601

1601_v2_1210The full title of this work is, 1601: Conversation, as it was by the Social Fireside, in the Time of the Tudors.  It is written by Mark Twain. I stumbled upon it a little accidentally.  Well, that is almost true, librivox.org has a genre entitled Erotica.  Considering that all their books are in public domain I wondered what was in there.  I found this little gem.

We all know that Samuel Clemens had a colorful and varied life.  Occasionally he has been criticized for his language.  A recent brouhaha about the use of the N* word comes to mind.  However, there is not a book of Mark Twain’s that is commonly read that I would have an  issue with any of my children reading when they were of tender age.  This little volume I would have had them wait a few years.

As I understand it, he wrote this work between The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.  Without giving too much away, I have a picture of Samuel Clemens sitting in his octagon writing studio and passing the mother of all flatulence. To me it is utterly delightful to think of this American legend writing something like this.

The actual oeuvre is very short, and circulated as a pamphlet for many years.  If you download the Librivox version it runs 17 minutes or so, but the whole download is about about Continue reading “An Interesting side of Mark Twain: 1601”

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Rewinding Life

From time to time I will hear or read an interview of some famous person.  One of the common questions asked is, “If you had your life to live over would you do anything differently?”  Almost invariably the answer is, “No, I would not change a thing.”   On hearing this, in my mind, I am screaming, “Bullshit.”

I look back on my life and there are so many things that I would have changed had I had the opportunity.  Maybe it is the programmer in me, but I see life as a imagesseries of decision points.  Like the traveler in Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken, go one direction and the other path is usually lost.  I do not know a human alive, if they are being honest, that would not own up to bad decisions, to decisions they regret, or wonder what would have happened if they had taken the other branch.  I think it is part of the tragedy that is the quiet desperation of human existence.  The Buddha gave a way out, living in the moment.  However, that is much easier said than done.

One of my fantasies is to wonder what would happen if I could go back and change x to y.  What would have my path have been?  Continue reading “Rewinding Life”

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Let Them Eat Cake…said (more or less) Virginia Foxx

Virginia Foxx: Congress Doesn’t Need To Make College Affordable virginia-foxx

Talk about an elitist attitude…if it were not for Pell Grants (from the federal government) and a supportive wife I would never have made it through college. I would have spent my life working in warehouses and factories for not very much money.

And do not get me started on these for profit colleges like Phoenix. There have been multiple studies showing that they fail to prepare students for jobs and are exceeding expensive. If we are to spend tax dollars at these for profit schools, there should be some accountability.

And why I am at it, why have they privatized the student loan program?

Are For-Profit Colleges a Rip-off?

For-Profit Colleges Hemorrhaging Students

For-profit College Graduates Barely Earn More Than High School Graduates

In a different vein
Education Pays

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War and Peace

warpeaceI knew very little about War and Peace before I read the book except it written b a Russian Leo Tolstoy and it was very long.  It is long, about 1300 pages in paperback.   By comparison the Harry Potter box set is 4167 pages with the print admittedly larger. I think the majority of us have read all the Harry Potter books.

This is not an attempt to review such a classic, but perhaps some impetus for someone to read this worthy book.

It is an historical novel.  It uses the fortunes of several folks to move the narrative forward.   It is a love story, but certainly not in the vein of Jane Austen.  Tolstoy brings the characters alive to point that you do care what happens to them.  Will Natasha marry the Prince?  Will Princess Mary ever find happiness?  How long will Count Bezukhov put up with his wayward wife?  Will the Rostovas go bust before the novel ends?  I had to remind myself it was normal for those times.  I found it a little creepy that  30 and 40 year old men were chasing the main love interest of the story,  16 year old Natasha.  Apparently if you were not married by the time you were 17 or 18 your were an old maid.  People were not so worried about marrying for love, but in making a match that increased the family’s finances.

It is a history of Russia from about 1800 to 1813 or so.  The epilogue goes past those dates.  It is the story of Bonaparte’s invasion into Russia and the Russian response.  Continue reading “War and Peace”

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Jonathan Swift on Money

From Gulliver’s Travelers

Amazing how little things have changed in the 300 years.

…neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals; “that when a YAHOO had got a great store of this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to; the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these feats, our YAHOOS thought they could never have enough of it to spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from their natural bent either to profusion or avarice; that the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man’s labour, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former; that the bulk of our people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for small wages, to make a few live plentifully.” Continue reading “Jonathan Swift on Money”

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Bottle of Tequila

He saw me limping down the hallway and asked,”looks like you had a wonderful time, what happened?” When he said that I was instantly back to her bedroom and recalling the events of the previous evening…

We had placed a few pillows behind our backs up against the headboard.  The lights were still low.  The Coltrane CD had started back around.  Man, is he ever timeless. With the warm glow that can only be felt from energy well spent, we were both smoking cigarettes and idly chit chatting about absolutely nothing of consequence.  I noticed that we had both pulled our knees toward our chests.  The result was two well formed tents, side by side in the sheets.  Mine was a good bit taller than hers.  My mind flitted back to childhood days when my parents would take me to the circus.  I wondered which tent was more interesting.  Was it the larger one with the 3 rings of non-stop entertainment, or the smaller one with all the made up freaks and hucksters trying to separate you and your money? Laughing to myself I wondered where the “tunnel of love” was.

It was at that point I slapped myself softly and she looked at me funny.

“Just a weird thought,” I explained.

My vision drifted down to my left arm.  I realized that I had left my Rolex knock-off on.   It surprised me that she had not complained, Continue reading “Bottle of Tequila”

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Easter Sunday & Friday the 13th

I was looking at things… So did you engage in an activity on July 13th, 1951 of a procreative nature?  A question posed to my 80 year old mother.  I wonder if she remembers or even will answer.

April 13th, 1952 I was born, an Easter Sunday.

I turned 21 on a Friday the 13th
I will turn 60 on a Friday the  13th.
I will reach my full retirement age of 66…on Friday the 13th, 2018

I’ve always considered turning 21 on Friday the 13th (and standing in front of a judge) a foreshadowing of the rest of the decaying rollercoaster ride that has been my life.  Does turning 60 on Friday the 13th foreshadow my senior years?  Does turning 66 on Friday the 13th foreshadow my retirement years.

Being conceived on Friday the 13th would explain the whole miserable lot. Taking my Okie calculator out of their gloves, it seems that it would have been a good statistical probability that I was launched into being on that infamous day.

Looking ahead – Easter Sunday is occurring on April the 13th occur in 2031 & 2036.  While both seem a little early to be checking out, they do have a certain synchronicity to them.  Of course, Easter occurs on April 1 in 2018, 2029 & 2040.  I like the irony of that.  Friday, April 13ths occur in 2029, 2035, 2040 and 2046.  On those days the irony and synchronicity are overwhelming.

You do not have a choice in when you were born.  You probably will not have a choice when you exit, but maybe…