Tag: grandmother

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #123

yeah I know you did not ask!

Years ago it was very common for houses to have big front porches, and people used them.  Probably at least in part due to the lack of air conditioning, and it was also a a way of staying connected to your neighbors.

Now days we have decks and patios and they are at the back of the houses, frequently behind fences.  Many of us of little or no connection with our neighbors, seldom even talking to them.

There is a statement, message, lesson in there somewhere.

What started me down this random thought path was that for some reason I was thinking about my grandmother’s house.  The house she lived in longest during my childhood was an old three story house that had a huge porch, wrapping around three sides, sitting just on the edge of the small farming town of Checotah, OK, birthplace of this curmudgeon.  And that porch was used extensively.  I slept out there multiple times when her house was full of visiting aunts, uncles, cousins and other assorted folks.

I have seen this other places, but when I lived in Memphis it was exceedingly common.  One could drive around neighborhoods on a nice evening and there would be a multitude of folks sitting around in lawn chairs in their driveways.  Most of the houses did not have front porches, but the driveway must have been a good substitute.

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Paul H. Carr inducted into the Oklahoma Military Hall of Fame

My uncle, Paul H. Carr, is a man of legend in my mother’s family.  He was one of 9 surviving children, 8 of whom were girls, with my mother as the youngest.  I don’t know the exact date, but my grandparents divorced, something very unusual for that period of time.  This left my grandmother to raise the last part of the brood by herself.  She did whatever was necessary to keep all fed, housed and clothed. While doing that, she was famous for helping those in need who were not part of her family. It was just who she was.   In many ways my grandmother, aka Mama Carr, is also a family legend.  Proof of this was the summers at Mama Carr’s house where “The Sisters” would faithfully return with their own broods to stay for various lengths of time. I remember that there always seemed to be a gang of cousins there.  I believe “The Sisters” truly revered my grandmother.

Paul H. Carr came of age, and by this I mean he graduated high school, right in the middle of War World II.  He was an only son, he was a farm boy, it would have been easy for him to have gotten a deferment and stay out of the war.  Like so many of his generation he chose not to.  He chose country and patriotism   above all other considerations.  I’m not quite sure why Continue reading “Paul H. Carr inducted into the Oklahoma Military Hall of Fame”

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Open Season on The Young Rev. Joe

Outsized would have described my Uncle Sam, my Aunt Irene’s husband.  He had an outsized personality, and he was prone to tell outsized tales of questionable veracity. He was physically a big man. I do not know what his height was, but he always seemed taller than my 187 centimeters. He was a man who loved to eat, and his weight showed it. He was just a big man.

Run, David, Run...Although I never thought about them, he had one physical characteristic that apparently bothered him. It was his ears. They did not quite stick out 90 degrees from his head, but they were definitely more of an obtuse angle than the usual acute.

My cousin Perry inherited his ears. When Perry was 12, he had plastic surgery to go from obtuse to angular in the pinna department. Shortly after the operation he and his mother, my aunt, were visiting at our Grandmother’s house.

Continue reading “Open Season on The Young Rev. Joe”

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How Do You Say Goodbye?

Here is an open question for everyone, how do you say goodbye. 

A friend’s mother is in hospice, partly the result of age, and partly the result of several diseases she failed to manage properly catching up with her.

My friend flew her twenty-something daughter in for the week so that she could see her grandmother before she passed.  At the first  of the week my friend’s mother was still occasionally coherent and aware.  By the end of the week she was out of it, and sleeping most of the time. 

The three of us went to visit her on the Saturday before the daughter had to fly back out on Sunday.  It was more than a little sad as the grandmother was only there physically.   The granddaughter knew that this would in all likelihood be the last time she saw her grandmother alive. 

We stayed about two hours.  The granddaughter tried to feed the grandmother who was not interested.   Some attempts were made at communication, but those essentially failed.  Both mother and daughter were crying off and on.  Towards the end the granddaughter just hugged her grandmother and stroked her. 

I went out a little before the other two to give them some time alone.  The granddaughter came out first and asked me, “How do you say goodbye to some one?”  I took a minute to answer as I was a little choked up myself.  All I could muster was a lame comment about “giving them positive energy and remembering the good times.”  I do not imagine it satisfied the daughter.  It did not satisfy me. 

I’ve been thinking about it, and I still not sure I have a good answer.  How do you say goodbye to someone?

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A Bit of Wisdom from Ole Heart

milk-cowMy grandmother had an old milk cow she called Ole Heart. Ole Heart helped my grandmother make ends meet. She would sell excess milk and butter to various folks around town that preferred their milk straight from the cow rather than the supermarket.  She would get a calf from Ole Heart once a year that she raised for beef and put in her freezer.  She and the cow had been together many years.

During the day Ole Heart roamed Continue reading “A Bit of Wisdom from Ole Heart”

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The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors

The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors: The Extraordinary World War II Story of the U.S. Navy’s Finest Hour by James D. Hornfischer available at Amazon.com

tincan1I don’t normally read books on war or military actions. I originally started to read this book because my mother’s brother is Paul Henry Carr. He died in this battle.

I remember hearing stories about him almost the whole time I was growing up. My grandmother would every once in a great while bring out his medals and show them to us grandkids. I think it made her proud and sad all at the same time. I remember a comic book about the battle that I believe was published by the Navy that she kept around the house. His sisters talked about him for many years like he had taken a trip to the coast and would be back soon. Continue reading “The Last Stand of the Tin Can Sailors”