Here is an open question for everyone, how do you say goodbye.
A friend’s mother is in hospice, partly the result of age, and partly the result of several diseases she failed to manage properly catching up with her.
My friend flew her twenty-something daughter in for the week so that she could see her grandmother before she passed. At the first of the week my friend’s mother was still occasionally coherent and aware. By the end of the week she was out of it, and sleeping most of the time.
The three of us went to visit her on the Saturday before the daughter had to fly back out on Sunday. It was more than a little sad as the grandmother was only there physically. The granddaughter knew that this would in all likelihood be the last time she saw her grandmother alive.
We stayed about two hours. The granddaughter tried to feed the grandmother who was not interested. Some attempts were made at communication, but those essentially failed. Both mother and daughter were crying off and on. Towards the end the granddaughter just hugged her grandmother and stroked her.
I went out a little before the other two to give them some time alone. The granddaughter came out first and asked me, “How do you say goodbye to some one?” I took a minute to answer as I was a little choked up myself. All I could muster was a lame comment about “giving them positive energy and remembering the good times.” I do not imagine it satisfied the daughter. It did not satisfy me.
I’ve been thinking about it, and I still not sure I have a good answer. How do you say goodbye to someone?