Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.222

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I was walking from the bedroom to the bathroom when I belched with much enthusiasm and expressiveness.  Growing up in a household with four brothers and a gaseous father, belching was considered an art form, a source of competition amongst us five boys.

Señora said to me, “You just burped.”

“No,” I said, “I just eructated.   I have more class than to burp.”

Her reply was not family friendly, but it definitely let me know in no uncertain terms that she was not in accordance with my well considered evaluation of my behavior.

And so it goes within the confines of our matrimonial walls.

Rallllllffffff….

More often than I would like to own up to, I revert to being a 13 year old boy.  One of my less than adult behaviors is enunciating the name Ralph while I eructate (burp).  Yes, I know, boys will be boys…

I did so this morning and Señora asked me, “who is Ralph?”

“I don’t know, it is just something I say,” I answered.

She next asked, “Have you ever known any Ralphs?”

“Well”, I said, “Not that I recall, have you?”

“Nope, me neither,” she added.

“It is not a very common name now days,” was my brilliant response.

Señora then proceeded to say Ralph several ways, adding that it was a harsh name when spoken.

Thinking of Ralph Kramden of The Honeymooners I said, “An easy name for your wife to yell at you meanly.”

Not missing a beat Señora replied, “David works pretty good too.”

Related??? – At one point my brother Mark could recite the alphabet while burping… I don’t know if he is still in practice.