Tag: birthday

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5786.103

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Well another birthday has arrived, putting my feet closer to the grave.

Last week Señora kept asking me, “what do you want for your birthday?”

I told her the truth, “nothing.”

This went on for innumerable iterations with my response being the same each time.  I really did not need or want anything.

Finally, maybe from a little exasperation from hearing the same question for the umpteenth time, I said, “a ménage à trois.”

I know that eventually Señora will stop laughing and pick herself off the floor… eventually.

One would think after this long on this spinning globe I would have learned, one would think.

Pray for me as I know she will get off the floor.  Sounds like a good time for me to go golfing.

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Whatcha want for your birthday?

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call, The Twilight Zone.” ~~ Opening sequence of the early 60s iconic TV show,  The Twilight Zone

I offer for your consideration an elderly  gentleman somewhere in the heartland of this country.  For the moment he has gratefully forgotten the onrushing anniversary of his appearance on the only habitable planet revolving around a minor star, in a minor solar system, in a minor galaxy, in a dimensionally challenged universe.

He sits enthroned on his favorite recliner, the ice cubes in his glass of lemonade rattling in his left hand, his right clutching a remote control. For the moment he is enraptured by a random professional bowling tournament on his television.  It is at this instant that his spouse saunters into Continue reading “Whatcha want for your birthday?”

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5784.023

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

I am a little worried about Señora.

Let me set the stage.  We have an Internet connected Smart Thermostat. It has a sensor downstairs and a sensor upstairs.  Remembering that hot air raises and cold air falls, playing with the opening and closing of vents on the various levels of our abode, I can keep the temperature more or less even on all floors.  The thermostat functionality  is based on averaging the temperature at the sensors together.

As a balance between comfort and pocketbook, we kept the thermostat at 70 this time of year.   With the averaging of the sensors bouncing around a bit, it reads 70 part of the time  and 69 the rest.

Señora has a Feliz cumpleaños coming up shortly.  I always think of this time of year as a triple witching hour as her birthday, Valentine’s Day and the anniversary of our meeting all happen with five days of each other.  I make Hallmark’s budget balance in that short period of time.

Unlike yours truly, Señora is not horrified by birthdays.  This year is different, however. She is having a hard time dealing with the number.  Every time she walks past the thermostat and it reads 69 she goes a little batty.  She is convinced that this piece of smart, Internet connected technology is mocking her.  I am hoping there is not a whole year of this.

But then again for the rest of the year we keep the thermostat at 72.  Guess who is hitting this wonderful number this year.  I am sure this maldito contraption will be mocking me too.

And so it goes.

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