It is a wonder that I have kept any job.
In 2001 I took a programming job with Saks at their Information Technology center in Jackson, Mississippi. It is a long story how it came to be there, I will not bore you. At that time Saks was the parent company of Saks Fifth Avenue, and three other department store chains.
The week I started the departmental secretary sent me an email requesting that I write a short blurb about myself. She was going to put my “bio” and the photograph from my ID badge on the departmental bulletin board to introduce me to everyone. I did so, she did so, but she failed to read my expository remarks, simply cutting and pasting my profundities into her document.

A few days later she came to me all excited asking about what I had written, insistent that I “correct” it. Unfortunately not every one gets my sublime sense of humor. It might also be the reason that a year or so later when I asked her out, she was very adamant about having to wash her hair seven nights a week.
Just in case you cannot read the verbiage in the image here is what I wrote:
“David joined SAKS in February of this year. He came from American Electric Power in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He is working as a Senior Programmer with Greg Kinsley’s IT Logistics Team. David has two kids and a granddaughter. They reside just outside Ft. Smith, AR. David resides in the Reservoir area. His interests include golf, photography, fishing and backpacking. He volunteers part-time with the Frankenstein Laboratory of Experimental Humanity.”
And so it goes.

“It is a crime to exploit patriotism in the service of hatred, and it is, finally, a crime to ensconce the sword as the modern god, whereas all science is toiling to achieve the coming era of truth and justice. Truth and justice, so ardently longed for! How terrible it is to see them trampled, unrecognized and ignored!” ~~ 