Oops

I went backpacking this weekend in Arkansas, down close to the Buffalo National River. This is a wonderful and beautiful area.  If you ever get the chance to visit there, do so.

I am driving there to meet my son and one of my brothers who are trekking with me.  I get a little south of Harrison, Arkansas and I realize that I need gas.  At this point I am getting very close to being in very rural Arkansas.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I lived in Arkansas for fourteen years, and I found many things to love about it. However, some of its reputation is deserved.

I pull into a run-down looking convenience store.  Sitting in front of the store is this snaggletooth woman somewhere between 40 and 65 years of age.  She is smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone. I get out of my pickup wearing my headphones as I am listening to an audio-book.  I pull out my credit card and start looking for a slot on the gas pump to insert it.   I cannot find one.

About this time, a raspy smoker’s voice comes through the narration, “How much do you want?” Want is said as if it were a two syllable word.

“I would like to fill her up,” I replied.

“Let me go turn the pump on,” she answered still with the cell phone to her ear.

I fill my truck up, and I go inside.  After using the facilities, and grabbing something to snack on I go to the register to pay for my gas and my snack.

The attendant is still talking on the phone.  We take care of our transactions by short bursts of words and pantomime.

As I am finishing up I hear her say to whomever she is talking to on the phone, “I was thinking maybe I could just come by your place and hang out.  We could build a bonfire or something.”

Being the wise-ass that I am I pipe up, “Sounds like fun, I’ll bring the beer.”

Snaggletooth, looking at me and trying to read the work name tag I forgot to take off, says to whomever she is talking to, “This cute guy that just came in here says he will bring the beer.”

Oops!   Only thing that could have been worse would have been some banjo music playing in the background.