The Merriam and Webster dictionary gives several definitions for irony, but the following definition works for the ensuing anecdotes. Irony – 1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity.
Recently I had to go to downtown Memphis to One Police Plaza, not its real appellation, but perhaps it should be. Part of the complex is 12 stories high, but the overall impression is one of a gray depressing bunker. Once inside, the next impression is that perhaps a tax raise is in order as it has a shabby and run down feel to it.
Like many government buildings since September 11, access is controlled and you must pass though a metal detector. At One Police Plaza these access points and metal detectors are manned by rent-a-cops. Somehow that struck me as somewhat humorously ironic.
After I managed to fool the metal detector I went to the 10th floor to the Office of Records to get a copy of a police report. You fill out a request form, take a number and wait. A procedure typically followed at any government office.
I took a seat. To the right of me sat a young man, perhaps in his early 20s. He had on a pair of baggy pants that I am sure were sagging off his rear end, but he had on a long shirt that essentially would have covered that.
Seated to my left, and 90 degrees to me and the young man, was woman perhaps in her 30s that had a day shift hooker look to her. She had on what appeared to skin tight jeans and a too small leather jacket.
Her number was called and she arose to display more crack than Marion Barry. Her panties were several inches above her jeans, and jeans were practically off her buttocks.
Her jeans looked like they may have fit her 20 or 40 pounds ago. She walked to the counter and spent the next several minutes tugging at this mess trying to get it up above her gluteal cleft.
I happened to glance to my right and the young man with the sagging pants had noticed this show too. He had a wry smile on his face and was glancing at me. I just rolled my eyes and mumbled softly that I was not saying anything.
Wry smile or not, I am not sure he saw the irony of his grinning at her “sagging” versus his sagging. The two ironies nearly made the drive to downtown nearly worth it. Ironic, huh?
Hilarious story.
I have always wondered how the “baggy pants” that some folks wear stay on. It is as if Gravity decided to give them a pass. I am positive that if I were to attempt it, I would be walking around pants-less.
Anyways, thanks for the laugh.
SGB