It is probably not entirely fair to say that Saturday Night Live patterned their character, The Church Lady, after my mother. It, however, is not too far from the truth. She is prim and proper almost to the point of being prudish. Knead in an equal amount of operatic diva. Sprinkle moderately with essence of OCD, being sure the flakes are evenly spaced. Add a dash or two of Tabasco sauce. That would be my mother.
A year or so ago my cousin died and somehow I ended up driving my mother alone to the funeral. We took her car as she likes neither of my vehicles. She complains about having to climb into my F-150 pickup. Alternatively, she gripes about the lowness and smallness of my MX-5 sports car. So we took her car with me driving. And of course she has this whole set of rules about how you should drive, especially if it is her vehicle.
We are driving through Muskogee, by gawd, Oklahoma, on one of the main drags. We came to an intersection where we needed to make a left turn. In front of us was an older pickup. Hanging from the back bumper, swaying like they were ready for action was a set of plastic bull balls. You know the kind, they are popular with truckers and you see them hanging from the back of a lot of semi trailers.
Again I should have bit my tongue and resisted, but sometimes you got to say what you got to say. Out of my mouth the following sentence escaped, “You know if that was my truck those would be brass.”
Out of the corner of my eye I could see her jaw muscle clenching. I believe her eye was twitching. I have to give her credit she did not say anything, but gee whiz I know it took all the internal fortitude she had to keep quite.
And the ironic part to me was that it was a redneck gal driving the pickup.
Brass, indeed!! LOL I am sure you’re mother has known you long enough to know that you are incorrigible enough with out her replying to such, Mr. Rush.
How do you know for certain that those you wrote of were plastic? Maybe “redneck gal” was merely tenderizing her last trophy??
Okay, now don’t laugh. The first time I saw some of these (they were a silver, metal-looking con-cock-tion), I could not, at first, figure out what they were. Just thought they were an odd looking item that had somehow got worn down in its travels on the bumper of the truck. The next time I saw some of these, I knew EXACTLY what they were: THEY WERE THE COLOR TO WHICH I HAD ACTUALLY SEEN BEFORE!!!!!