Like most Homo sapiens I hold contradictory views, opinions, modus operandi, etc. One such area is how I regard and behave to others of my species.
In my personal life I have for several decades taken the position that I do not trust anyone until they prove to me they are trustworthy. Perhaps this is an outcome of working for huge corporations and other large organizations. There are always folks in these environments that are willing to do about anything to advance their careers. A few times I have felt their footsteps on my back. Add to the corporate office politics, the sundry disappointments in my personal relationships, and my base position is that you need to prove to me that I can trust you. And yes I am aware that it is not necessarily the healthiest mode psychologically, but it works for me. I wonder though, how Erickson would view this “developmental” stage.
The above has been in opposition to how I have viewed humanity as a whole. I have always assumed that most people are good folks. Yes, there are some awful people in the world, some of those very awful, but most of us are just trying to get by and live the best lives we can in the circumstances we find ourselves.
However, my last position has shifted. I am not so sure anymore that the majority of folks are good people. Of course, I am generalizing from what I see around me and my personal experiences. The tremors of this shift accelerated as the Internet became more popular. The behavior that one saw in chat rooms and now on social media is appalling at times. Somehow people feel insulated, perhaps even empowered by the anonymity of the web. “Flaming” and “trolling” were repurposed as words to describe this essentially anti-social behavior. Even if I know you, it is not likely I am going to drive the miles necessary to slap you across the face with my gloves. And if we are not acquainted in “real” life, all bets are off. I approve most comments on my blog, but a few are so over the top malicious that I just delete them.
The combination of Trump and the pandemic seems to have brought out the worst in a large segment of our population. Trump normalized childish bad behavior, racism, misogyny, treating others disrespectfully, cowboy capitalism, a general disregard of social norms, and absolute denial of any responsibility for any person other than himself and perhaps immediate family and friends. That almost half of the people voting last election voted for objectively the worst human to ever occupy the White House just blows me away.
Then the pandemic hit. Instead of pulling together in our lifeboat to support as many of us as we could, we broke apart into warring camps, each group thinking the other was knocking holes in the collective boat. That so many people were willing to ignore science and endanger their fellow citizens, that so many people were willing to deny that we even needed a lifeboat is distressing.
It feels to me like behavior in general has gotten worse. My own personal barometer is the golf course. While etiquette has always been an issue at public golf courses, it was minor. Not so anymore, un-raked sand traps, radios blaring in golf carts (disregard the movie Caddy Shack, this is a new phenomenon) loud enough to be heard two fairways distant, hitting into groups ahead of you in an effort to hurry them up, that this behavior has become common at many public courses is abhorrent.
That we cannot talk about politics, religion, or any number of other subjects civilly anymore is disheartening. People are afraid to even broach these subjects with any but the closest intimates.
That you are afraid of just about anyone, as anyone may be carrying a concealed weapon is not how one should have to live in a civilized society. I’ve not seen anyone carrying assault rifles in public in St. Louis, but I have seen more than a few with pistols strapped to their belts. What the hell are they afraid of? I have lived 69 years and I can only think of maybe, maybe twice where I might have wanted a gun. Then it probably would have just caused more problems rather than solve them.
It is a funny way to live, not believing in the basic goodness of the majority of your fellow travelers on this planet. In all probability, just an old man’s sour grapes, but it does not seem to me we are not headed in a good direction.
And so it should not go.
Amen to that.
When the 2016 election happened, I told a relative that electing a wannabe dictator was going to unleash the worst elements of our population. Sadly, I regret not being more forceful about him before the election. He gave validation to the misanthropes among us.