Category: Trials and Tribulations

Whatcha think, Joe was perfect?

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I Am Officially Old – Part II

I went golfing last Friday evening fairly late in the day. When I was done with my round I drove the golf cart up to my 18 year old mid-life crisis vehicle, Li’ Blu, to unload my clubs and other golfing paraphernalia. When I was I done I hopped in the cart and drove around the club house to the collection area for golf carts.

As I approached the drop off zone, another cart was approaching, being driven by a young man of around 6 years of age – hard to tell these days as they all look so young.  He was short enough that he was standing with his backside supported by the cart seat.  It was the only way he could reach the pedals.

Always the wisenheimer, I asked for his driving license and proof of insurance.  The kid said something which I do not remember, but his father, who was trailing the cart, said he was older than he looked.

It was at that point that the licenseless  muchacho remarked, “I am 39 years old.”

Why 39? A bit of an odd number, but maybe someone he knew recently had this birthday.

Still the wisenheimer, I responded, “Well if you are 39, I must be 150.”

He then jumped out of the cart and ran back to his mother waiting by their car saying, “That man is 150 years old.”

Obviously my well honed sense of irony (sarcasm?) was lost on this innocent.

It was at this point that the mother waved at me with a big grin on her face, laughing.

Obviously, I am officially old.

I wonder what I will look like when I reach 200.

Just as an aside, up until 4 or so years ago, I always walked the course carrying my bag.  My back will not let me do that anymore.  I even tried push carts and pull carts, but they hurt my back in a different way.  Oh well, a fun gig this getting old is.

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My Turn Signal Conundrum       

I am a big fan of myself and others using turn indicators, turn signals if you will.  At the minimum it is just common courtesy.  It is also, many times, a manner of safety. Using and acknowledging turn signals keeps traffic flowing in a safe and sane manner.

However, I am utterly convinced that this device, usually a lever that controls the signalling lights, is missing or broken in many vehicles.  I even wonder sometimes if they are still installing them in new vehicles.  Perhaps no one has bothered to educate the drivers of these vehicles on how they function. I remember the salesman taking 20 minutes to explain how the touch screen worked on the last new car we bought. For my money they could be throwing in the turn indicator functionality as a public service.

To give you an idea of how old I am, I actually Continue reading “My Turn Signal Conundrum       “

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YouTube Curation

YouTube uses an algorithm to feed the user videos that they might like.  Of course the goal is to keep you on YouTube as long as possible to feed you the most advertisements possible.  I started to call this algorithm, curation, but the definition of curated is: “carefully chosen and thoughtfully organized or presented.“  While this may be what YouTube is doing on one level, it is more than a little nefarious on another.

As long time readers will know (ad nauseam) that I am studying Spanish.  As part of this journey I subscribe to various YouTube channels for learning Spanish and others in Spanish for their entertainment value.  So now the YouTube curation algorithm feeds me videos in English and Spanish.

A while back, for reasons unclear to me – perhaps it figured out that I am old and male, it fed me a video from an urologist.  The video captured my attention as the presenter was a very attractive young female who turned out to be a M.D. in the field.  Being a man of a certain age, urological topics have a bit of an interest for me.  Then you add in the mujer linda, and I just had to click. Bad move on my part. Now YouTube is feeding me tons of videos dealing with urological topics.  However, what really floored me was that it was also feeding me urological videos from urologists in Spanish speaking countries… in Spanish.

Everyone is concerned with Big Brother being the government, for my money, Big Brother is  here and he is the personification of these huge technology companies coming after your wallet and your mind.

And yes I know it is possible to erase your YouTube history and start fresh.  Or for that matter simply turn off their algorithm. But then how would I find videos of a pretty young urologist preaching to me about urological measures I should be following?

And so it goes in La Casa de Viejos.

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The Tale of the Five Binders or A Monkey with a Typewriter

Click to see bigger

Click to see bigger

I save my blog articles off onto my hard drive, and remembering the three most important tasks in the information technology world, backup, backup, backup, my hard drive is also backed up.  One would think I have important sh… stuff on my computer to worry about.

For some wild reason, I decided the chore I needed to undertake was to PRINT off every single one of my blog articles. Since I have a laser printer these printed pages might take more than a season or two to fade away.  This was a project that took some time, went through four reams of three-hole paper, and a couple laser cartridges. The articles filled up Continue reading “The Tale of the Five Binders or A Monkey with a Typewriter”

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Size 12, Myself

Tis a subject of which I have touched on in the past, the fact that our feet tend to enlarge as we age.  For most of my adult life I wore a size 10 or 10 1/2 shoe. I am not remembering exactly when, but at some point that changed to 10 1/2 or 11 size shoes, with the occasional cowboy boot checking in at 11 1/2.

One would think that the same style within a brand would have a consistent size over time.  I started wearing New Balance’s 990s running shoes a while back because they are mostly “Made in America”. I have several pairs, that are different colors, that are dedicated to different uses.  I have one pair that I wear only in the gym, another pair that are my daily walkers, and so forth.  New Balance updates Continue reading “Size 12, Myself”

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The Apocalypse…Very Soon

I follow my investments with  a portfolio on Google Finance.  For the first time since I don’t remember, every single investment was green, meaning the price has increased.

The Apocalypse is coming and very, very soon… there is absolutely no doubt about it in my mind.  Now is the moment to duck and cover under your desks while you still have time.

Or maybe I just have The Apocalypse on my mind after reading this article: Medvedev begins to frighten world with apocalypse. It almost seems like Putin would rather destroy the world than admit defeat in Ukraine.

And so it goes.

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Duck Dynasty Chinese Food

Occasionally Señora does not feel like preparing dinner.  When I hear this I offer to take us out to eat, but sometimes she just feels like staying in.  In that scenario we occasionally will get Chinese carryout.  This happens a handful of times every year.  I cannot say there is a Chinese carryout restaurant close that we are wild about, but Dynasty Chinese Restaurant on Clarkson is acceptable, most of the time. It is small, without seating, doing all its business as delivery or carryout, accepting only cash or checks.

There is another Chinese carryout restaurant close to our house that I liked the food better, but one night, going to pick up our order, I made the mistake of using their restroom.  I have not been back.

Every time I have gone to get our food at the store on Clarkson there is an older Caucasian guy working the counter.  I do not believe he has any ownership in the business, but he has Continue reading “Duck Dynasty Chinese Food”

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The False Reality of Loneliness | Hello Eleanor Rigby

I am a bit skeptical of this video as this is one of those fuzzy areas people so want to believe. Plus anything associated with the Templeton Foundation sets off red flags and sirens for me.  However, the video does bring up some interesting thoughts to contemplate.

The reason it caught my attention

I occasionally will write blog articles I never intend to publish, just to get things off my chest.  Back in the day I use to write letters and tear them up.   I am including the article I never intended to publish at the end of this one.  Please no sticks or stones…

I had titled this article simply Eleanor Rigby

When I was younger, much, Continue reading “The False Reality of Loneliness | Hello Eleanor Rigby”

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I Think I Am a Little Jealous

Señora has been seeing a new massage therapist for a while now.  I understand her need for massages with all the issues going on in her delightful but fragile body. However, she generally comes home crowing about what a wonderful masseuse this immigrant from Russian or Ukraine is.

Now add to this his back story of being an immigrant working seven days a week to send his child through college.  Sure has my furry, bouncy, big-eyed puppy on a leash beat for touching the heart strings of the fairer sex.

I sometimes feel that if I could make Señora feel ten percent as good in bed as she seems to feel from her time on his table, she would be strutting around the barnyard clucking about Studmeister Redneck to all the world.

I think I am a little jealous.

She recommended this gentleman to a good friend of hers, La Guapa.  Now La Guapa is crowing about the magical touch of the therapist.

It makes me want to go the masseuse school… barring that I am sure Señora would share his contact information.

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Another Opening Sentence

Another opening sentence for a larger story or possibly a story in itself.

Rising from the bed, stretching, he began wading through the archipelago of scattered, hastily discarded clothing on his way to the bathroom, glancing back towards the bed before he closed the door, a wry smile crossed his face as he remembered the activities of the previous night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know… from time to time these musings pop into the labyrinth that passes for my mind.  I need to do something with them, so here it sets. Don’t worry, I’ve become very adept at dodging rotten tomatoes, thank you very much.

“Blissful smile” was my first choice, but I went with”wry smile” as it puts a completely different spin on the sentence, leaving questions unanswered.

For another article along this same vein: 2 One sentence short stories

And so it goes.