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How do we let a mother go?
How do we say …I’m ready now.
How can we ever have a clue of what that really means?
And, all of a sudden
That moment is upon us, and there is no turning back.
We know what grief is….the things undone….the empty spaces……
Waves and waves of conflicting emotions.
But there is peace too.
Here is an open question for everyone, how do you say goodbye.
A friend’s mother is in hospice, partly the result of age, and partly the result of several diseases she failed to manage properly catching up with her.
My friend flew her twenty-something daughter in for the week so that she could see her grandmother before she passed. At the first of the week my friend’s mother was still occasionally coherent and aware. By the end of the week she was out of it, and sleeping most of the time.
The three of us went to visit her on the Saturday before the daughter had to fly back out on Sunday. It was more than a little sad as the grandmother was only there physically. The granddaughter knew that this would in all likelihood be the last time she saw her grandmother alive.
We stayed about two hours. The granddaughter tried to feed the grandmother who was not interested. Some attempts were made at communication, but those essentially failed. Both mother and daughter were crying off and on. Towards the end the granddaughter just hugged her grandmother and stroked her.
I went out a little before the other two to give them some time alone. The granddaughter came out first and asked me, “How do you say goodbye to some one?” I took a minute to answer as I was a little choked up myself. All I could muster was a lame comment about “giving them positive energy and remembering the good times.” I do not imagine it satisfied the daughter. It did not satisfy me.
I’ve been thinking about it, and I still not sure I have a good answer. How do you say goodbye to someone?
I first noticed the father, a vaguely unkempt looking man picking out a bowling ball. It was hard to tell his age, but I am guessing around mine, pushing 60. His hair was all white, and he was bald on top. A comb or brush would not have hurt his look. He was dressed in a pair of black Rustler jeans and a black t-shirt that was a tad too short for him.
I then noticed his wife. She appeared to be at least 20 years his junior. She was obese enough that her belly had more than formed an apron. Initially I thought she was Hispanic. I shortly heard her say something, and it was classic Tennessee country. Neither she nor her husband were ugly, but then again they were not particularly handsome.
Then the passel of kids came into focus. There were a total of four. The oldest, a boy, who never took down his sweatshirt hood, looked to be 12 or 13. Continue reading “Sunday Morning Snobbery”
From the jacket cover of the book The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery by Ruiz & Ruiz available @ Amazon.com
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL
Nothing others do is because of you. Continue reading “The Five Agreements”
It is not that I am such a staunch Democrat. I have a lot to not like about that party. And like most politicians when they get elected their brains turn into mush.
I used to be a government regulator. My old boss told me one day that when you have them by the balls their heart and minds will follow. Unfortunately, corporations and specials interests have our politicians by their financial testicles. I think it is bad with both parties, but I think it is horrendous with the Republicans.
The other issue with the Republicans Continue reading “Another Reason I Vote Democratic”
My Uncle Dutch is not a tall man, and he has what we affectionately call a Buddha belly. I know that he was skinny once upon a time. I have seen pictures of him when he was young and in the Navy, but that is not the Harry Dodd I know. He is elderly now, with white hair, and it is hard for me to not think of him in a suit and tie. The first thing that you will probably notice about my Uncle is his smile. While he doesn’t smile all the time, it is certainly there more than it isn’t. And it is the type of smile that just lights up his whole face.
He is married to my mother’s sister. Now that I am older, I recognize her as kind, gentle, woman. Continue reading “The Unintended Lesson”
A friend sent me the following via email. An interesting question that was on a reality show recently. Currently, the only thing my TV is hooked up to is a DVD player, and I like it that way. Anyway so I did not see this show.
She said her and her significant other would have handled it much differently.
The question is below:
Ok, you’re at a party with your significant other. Folks at the party know that you’re in a monogamous long term relationship. There are drinks at the party and some folks that you don’t generally hang out with. A younger attractive girl sits on the arm of your chair on the patio. There are several people on the patio. Later, the same girl is talking to you while you are both standing, but is getting a bit closer than casual conversation would dictate. Your choices are:
How would you have handle the situtation?
I pray that we come to value each and every human for who they are, not what they are, or what they can produce.
I pray for the day when a person’s race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation does not limit their place/roles in life.
I pray that we come to learn that so many should not be hungry, thirsty or homeless when a few have more than they could use in a multitude of lifetimes. Continue reading “I pray…”
